“I’ll try,” my client said in response to multiple suggestions about actions to take.  But each week, the “try” never happened.  Just a couple of days ago, I got the same response to another suggestion.

Before that, I had a client who had been “trying” to write the Apology Letter… but not a single word had made it to the page.

There is no such action as “try.”  You can do something or not do something.  But as Yoda reminds us, “there is no try."

Each morning, I get up early and work on a book or writing project for an hour.  I am pretty clear that I am either writing or I am not.  If I am putting words on paper, regardless of whether they are good or not… I am writing.  If I distract myself with social media or some article… I am not writing.

It is not a matter of trying.  I am doing or not.

Many times, “trying” is a cop-out.  It is a lack of action, claimed to be “about to act.”  But we can do something… and if we aren’t, we are not doing it.  Doing it successfully is only determined by the outcome.  And the outcome only comes from the action.  Not acting pretty much guarantees not getting the desired outcome.  (It is true that acting does not guarantee the desired outcome… but it is far more likely than not acting.)

I discuss this and how it can keep you stuck in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast.  Listen below.

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Responsibility and NMF

Importance of an Apology

Taking Action

Myths of Saving Your Marriage

Save The Marriage System