Things You Learn in Therapy

Send us Fan Mail

What happens when one person in a relationship is ready to throw in the towel while their partner wants to keep trying? This emotional standoff creates a relationship limbo that can last for months or even years, preventing healing and growth for both individuals.

Therapist Lianna Purjes joins us to explore the powerful tool of discernment counseling - a specialized, short-term intervention created specifically for couples with mixed agendas about their future together. Unlike traditional couples therapy that assumes both partners want to improve the relationship, discernment counseling helps couples gain clarity and confidence about which direction to take: working on the relationship, moving toward separation, or maintaining the status quo temporarily.

The process is remarkably focused - just 1-5 sessions that primarily involve individual conversations with the therapist. This allows each partner to explore their contributions to relationship problems without the defensiveness that often emerges in joint sessions. Through this work, each person develops a "personal agenda for change" that benefits them regardless of the relationship's outcome.

While this process can feel frightening - especially for the partner who wants to preserve the relationship - it ultimately offers a faster path to healing than indefinite relationship limbo. Having clarity, even painful clarity, allows for movement rather than stagnation in recurring negative cycles.

Whether you're a therapist looking to expand your toolkit or someone navigating a difficult relationship crossroads, this episode offers insights into finding your way forward when the path seems unclear.

Learn more about Lianna at fuzzysockstherapy.com

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

What separates those who merely notice problems from those who actually solve them? In this enlightening conversation, Leslie Bolser and Dr. Beth Trammell tackle the powerful concept of initiative—defined as "seeing what needs to be done and doing it"—and why this two-part skill proves challenging for people of all ages.

The discussion moves through developmental stages, offering practical advice for nurturing initiative from preschool through adolescence. For the youngest children, initiative begins with explicit instruction and modeling, teaching them to notice when someone's crying or playing alone and giving them the words to respond. Elementary-aged children benefit from increased accountability and conversations that highlight the hundreds of small initiatives we take daily that often go unnoticed.

While adolescents often have brilliant solutions to problems, they may wait for permission or struggle with anxiety about taking action. The hosts share strategies for empowering teens to overcome "analysis paralysis" and act on their insights, while acknowledging that even as adults, they're still working on modeling initiative consistently in their own families.

This episode emphasizes initiative beyond household chores. While picking up after yourself matters, we explore the deeper relational aspects of initiative—noticing someone in need, including others who feel left out, and addressing community concerns. 

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Have you ever been in a perfect rhythm only to let a tiny distraction derail your entire momentum? That's exactly what crossed my mind during a recent swim session that turned unexpectedly profound.

While gliding through the water in a perfect cadence of stroke-stroke-breathe, a single drop of water leaked into my goggles. That tiny irritation threatened to break my rhythm completely. My first instinct was to stop and fix it—but something made me push through instead. Two hundred meters later, I realized how often we abandon our positive habits, routines, and progress because of minor inconveniences that, with a bit of persistence, we could easily overcome.

This brief, reflective episode serves as both a personal check-in and a gentle nudge for anyone who might be letting small distractions pull them away from their goals. Whether you're working on fitness habits, creative pursuits, relationship building, or personal growth, the principle remains the same: sometimes the most important skill is simply continuing despite discomfort.

I'm also excited to share what's coming up on the podcast! We have fascinating conversations about burnout, culturally responsive practices within the biopsychosocial model, and practical strategies for managing anxiety in today's challenging social and political climate. Plus, don't miss this Friday's crossover episode with the Core Essential Values podcast where we explore parenting with initiative. Listen in, stay in your groove, and remember that your momentum matters more than momentary distractions.

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Cooperation sounds simple – working together to accomplish more than we could alone – but as parents and educators, we often struggle to maintain this focus as children grow. This candid conversation between Leslie Bolser and Dr. Beth Trammell explores how our emphasis on cooperation naturally diminishes as we begin prioritizing independence in our children.

For preschoolers, cooperation begins with sharing toys and parallel play, creating the foundation for teamwork. Surprisingly, allowing young children autonomy in tasks like tying shoes actually develops their capacity for future cooperation. The elementary years present a critical juncture where parents typically shift toward encouraging individual achievement rather than collaborative skills. Beth suggests intentionally highlighting moments when teamwork creates something "bigger, cooler, more amazing" than solo efforts.

The conversation takes an unexpectedly vulnerable turn when discussing the common mindset many parents inherited: "If you want something done right, do it yourself." This efficiency-driven approach – whether tackling children's school projects or household management – models isolation rather than cooperation. The hosts admit their own struggles with this mentality while offering practical alternatives: family projects with genuine collaboration, asking teenagers for specific help when overwhelmed, and openly discussing strategies for working with difficult people.

Perhaps most valuable is their emphasis on repair when cooperation breaks down. Showing children how to restart collaboration after conflict or isolation provides equally important lessons. Whether you're raising toddlers learning to share or teenagers preparing for their first job, this episode offers refreshingly honest perspectives on nurturing this essential life skill.

Subscribe and join us next month as we continue exploring character values that build stronger families, schools, and communities.

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Resilience gets a fresh take in this heartfelt conversation between Leslie Bolser and Dr. Beth Trammell, who strip away the buzzword status and reframe this essential life skill as something we practice every single day. Moving beyond the trendy "grit" narrative, they explore what resilience actually looks like from toddlerhood through the teenage years—and why some moments of bouncing back are naturally easier than others.

The discussion shines particularly bright when examining how differently resilience manifests across age groups. For our youngest children, it might be the remarkable ability to move from throwing blocks to giving hugs in mere seconds. Elementary students benefit from learning to identify their emotions and their intensity—recognizing when they're at "anger level 10" when the situation only calls for a "level 4." And for teenagers? That missing white hoodie might represent something far deeper than parents initially recognize.

What makes this episode especially valuable is the compassionate acknowledgment that resilience isn't equally accessible to everyone. Children facing ongoing challenges like depression, anxiety, bullying, or systemic barriers genuinely find emotional elasticity more difficult. Parents will find tremendous comfort in the reminder that they themselves demonstrate resilience constantly in ways they rarely celebrate or even notice. The permission to start small, celebrate tiny victories, and recognize resilience as an ongoing practice rather than an achievement makes this a must-listen for anyone raising or working with children today.

Ready to rethink how you recognize and nurture resilience in yourself and the children in your life? Listen now and discover how bouncing back happens in the most ordinary moments of your day.

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Discovering what makes us each wonderfully unique stands at the heart of this month's exploration. We're diving into the powerful idea that by learning about others, we actually uncover more about ourselves – a concept that creates ripples through every stage of childhood development.

For the littlest ones, uniqueness blossoms when parents simply notice and name those special qualities: "I love how curious you are" or "Your excitement when we play together makes my day." These seemingly small acknowledgments plant powerful seeds of self-awareness that continue growing throughout life.

Elementary years bring fascinating challenges as black-and-white thinking meets the complexity of human difference. Children naturally compare themselves to peers, often concluding "she's good at math and I'm not" without understanding both can be true in different ways. We explore practical strategies for helping children ask questions about others, building social skills while fostering appreciation rather than jealousy.

The conversation extends to those critical teenage years when social comparison intensifies. How do we guide adolescents to celebrate others' achievements without feeling diminished? What does healthy vulnerability look like in friendships? These questions matter deeply as young people navigate increasingly complex social worlds.

Throughout our discussion, we return to a fundamental truth: appreciating uniqueness – both in ourselves and others – requires vulnerability and trust, qualities that develop gradually through thoughtful conversation and modeling. Join us as we explore how parents can nurture these essential skills, creating space for children to embrace what makes them wonderfully, authentically themselves.

What unique qualities do you celebrate in your child? Share your thoughts with us on social media or visit our website for more resources on fostering genuine self-discovery and appreciation.

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Hope isn't just wishful thinking – it's believing good things can happen even amid challenges. In this thought-provoking conversation, Dr. Beth Trammell and Leslie Bolser unpack how to nurture this essential quality in children at every developmental stage.

For parents of younger children, we discuss the importance of mindful language, highlighting how casually using "hope" in disciplinary contexts ("I hope I don't have to come in there...") might undermine the positive meaning we want kids to embrace. Instead, we offer practical examples for modeling hope as positive anticipation in everyday conversations with little ones.

As children grow into the elementary and middle school years, the conversation shifts to more explicit teaching strategies. We share age-appropriate ways to engage children in deeper reflections about hope beyond superficial wishes, helping them expand their understanding of this powerful concept. For teenagers facing bigger disappointments and uncertain futures, we explore the delicate balance between acknowledging hardships while nurturing realistic optimism.

Most crucially, we address when parents should be concerned about hopelessness in their children. Dr. Trammell provides clear guidance on recognizing behavioral changes that might signal a need for professional support, along with a comprehensive overview of resources available – from school counselors to mental health professionals. We tackle the myth that discussing difficult topics like self-harm might "plant ideas," emphasizing that open, caring conversations are actually protective.

Whether you're parenting toddlers, tweens, or teenagers, this episode offers valuable insights to help you foster hope as a foundational strength in your children's lives. Listen now and discover how small shifts in your approach can make a significant difference in how your child views life's possibilities.

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

The upcoming Week of the Young Child celebration provides a fascinating framework for understanding developmental priorities. From Movement Monday to Family Friday, these themed days don't just guide our approach to supporting children—they offer surprising lessons for adults too. Dr. Beth explores this reciprocal relationship, suggesting that young children might be teaching us as much as we're teaching them. As she reflects on early social skill development, from learning to share to simply tolerating others in their space, she reveals how these fundamental capabilities form the building blocks of all future relationships.

Looking ahead, Dr. Beth announces upcoming episodes exploring resilience, uniqueness, cooperation, and hope—concepts that resonate whether you're raising young children, working with them professionally, or simply applying these principles to adult relationships. Share your thoughts on what you'd like to hear in future episodes, and join us for these enlightening conversations about the profound lessons from our earliest developmental stages.

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Join us for a compelling discussion on the growing concerns of mom rage and how community care among mothers can transform individual struggles into collective strength. In this episode, I sit down with two incredible therapists, Megan and Nicole, who share their insights and experiences working in the field of maternal mental health. 

As we dive deep into the subject of mom rage, we explore how societal pressures can contribute to feelings of anger, isolation, and frustration among mothers. Our conversation emphasizes the pivotal role of support networks—connecting with other moms who can relate to our experiences—and how these connections can provide emotional relief during overwhelming times. 

Humor emerges as a key theme, showcasing how sharing laughs through shared struggles can create bonds that ease the weight of parenting’s demands. Our guests share relatable moments from their practice and personal lives, demonstrating how community care is vital to fostering resilience and well-being. 

We also touch on the importance of vulnerability, recognizing that reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness but an integral aspect of nurturing connections. Discover strategies to expand your support network and enhance your community engagement. 

Through this episode, we celebrate the journey of motherhood and encourage you to build connections that uplift and sustain you, reminding us that we are not alone in this experience. Tune in for an array of insights that might just change your perspective on how to cope with mom rage and underscore the power of community support. Your thoughts and questions can help guide our future discussions, so don’t hesitate to reach out!

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail

Unlock the secrets to fostering a supportive environment for children grappling with weight and body image concerns. Join us as we engage with Christy Tunnell, a seasoned registered dietitian, who shares her professional insights and personal experiences, including those with her own daughter. Together, they unravel how societal pressures and nutritional challenges complicate conversations for parents and emphasize the importance of involving healthcare professionals in nurturing a positive body image and healthy lifestyle among children.

Discover practical strategies for cultivating healthier eating habits within families, where convenience and preparation take center stage. From preparing snacks like celery with peanut butter to discussing the impact of social media on our dietary perceptions, we explore how consistent healthy eating habits can elevate energy levels and overall well-being. The discussion extends to understanding the difference between hunger and appetite, advocating for intuitive eating, and making sustainable dietary changes rather than jumping onto restrictive diets.

As our conversation unfolds, we redefine our relationship with food, moving away from stress and societal pressures to embrace a healthier view of body image. With Christy's personal anecdotes and expert advice, we encourage parents to be approachable and non-judgmental, opening channels for honest dialogue with their children. We address food misinformation and the importance of professional guidance amidst the noise of social media diet trends, aiming to help listeners develop a positive, lasting relationship with food and body image.

This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.

If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6

Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at [email protected]

Support the show

www.bethtrammell.com