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Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano are back for round two of Summer Bears—and things spiral immediately. Dressed in their finest “Queens County court appearance” outfits, the guys dive into tales of impersonating cops, awkward court appearances, and Chris’s brief career as a physical therapist (and even briefer run-in with medical malpractice).

The bears get uncomfortably honest about massages that went too far, AI-generated thirst traps, and whether or not Bert and Tom make smashable women. Plus: Stav drops knowledge about Benjamin Franklin’s revolutionary sexcapades, Chris reflects on losing MSG (but gaining perspective), and both dudes debate the pros and cons of fake tits, handy wives, and aging out of horniness.

It’s unhinged, unfiltered, and definitely leading to the hosts getting fired.

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 299

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https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:08 - Chrissy Court Date

00:06:15 - From Physical Therapy To Comedy

00:18:25 - Happy Ending

00:28:45 - Lady Tom & Bert

00:34:32 - Female Stavvy & Chrissy

00:43:55 - Handy Women & Unhandy Men

00:53:07 - Benjamin Franklin

00:58:32 - MSG

01:03:36 - Wrap Up