Thot Topics

**PATRONS ONLY**

We return to the booth with clear minds and open hearts, ready to do a little bit of Matty Healing. Love WINS!

This week, we have a big girls' cocktail powwow to discuss Taylor Swift's pivot to NAZISM after fraternizing with KNOWN PORN WATCHER The 1975's Matty Healy. What does this mean for Taylor? Is being a porn star empowering or degrading to these people? What are Inuit people? Nick gives Cris a crash course in Cum Town/Red Scare history.

Next, we discuss Kim Petras's Sports Illustrated cover and the rights of REAL(LY FAT) WOMEN across the globe. Trust the duchess, we address the drama head (and breasts) on!

Last but not least, we get into the core thesis of THE PARENT'S GUIDE TO PREVENTING HOMOSEXUALITY and put our own lives to the test-- theorizing what, if anything made us gay-- and what, if anything, could've stopped it.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTULABOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod meme page @th0tcels. Pay me reparations for being mean to me on Patreon. 

It was a slow news week AGAIN (let's fucking look alive people!!) so we decide to turn to the world of social science to discover what sort of surprises lay in wait. Brought to you by THEE original diva-doll Isabel Myers-Briggs, this episode features the girls diving deep into their sick and twisted psyches to find out which of the 16 personalities describe them best.

Could we be E for Extra Juicy, or I for Ignant?

Could we be S for Sexy, or N for... Nevermind

Could we be T for Titillating, or F for Fucked In The Head?

And last but not least, are we P for Precious, or J for umm.. Jewish? Not to MENTION a possibly Turbulent modifier to all that...

T for Tune In NOW for one of the most revealing episodes in our show's history. Also one of the loudest and drunkest, but you already knew that.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and step into our world on Instagram @th0tcels. Pay for some therapy on Patreon. (Disclaimer: It will 100% not go toward that.)

Not a lot of topics this week... we went in with a game plan I swear!

This week, we convene for a wine-drunk Girls' Summit and discuss everything that's on our sick and twisted minds. Honestly, what DON'T we cover? The difference between people who come out in high school vs college, the Super Mario Movie, this spring's new and very off vibe, being more famous than Bob the Drag Queen, being clockable, using hotness to get ahead in the world, PUSSY HOLE BY DJ NASTY, and SOOO much more. We get progressively more wasted and unintelligible so good luck!

Try our favorite productivity shot MAGIC MIND at magicmind.co/topics and use the promo code TOPICS20 for 20% off any purchase or 56% off any subscription!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official podstagram @th0tcels. Take us for a spin on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY!!**

Subscribe for full backdoor access. I mean backstage access. Or do I? 

Hey girl! Did you know that uhm. There's a tunnel under ocean boulevard??

Believe it or not we thought we were going to have time to talk about the TikTok ban and school shooters LOL! This week, we deliver the definitive two-hour-long deep dive into Lana Del Rey's new album. In a track by track evaluation, we assess the good, the bad, and the fugly: and deliver some takes that we really think you're gonna hate!

Hands on your knees, Angelina Jolies!!

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We just got HIV!!! WOOOOOO! Ayyy! The boy's a liarrrr! Oooh! The boy's a liarrrr! HEYYY!!! 

This week is all about sin: who's got it? Who wants it? Who's taking it out on consenting unconscious adults? Only one podcast has the answers. Following a brief State of the Podcast address, we get down to business.

First, we psychoanalyze the HIV Twink. Is it cool to have a yassified response to a diagnosis? Should HIV be treated like gonorrhea? Are certain people predisposed to HIV just by looking like that? You're guaranteed to think "Period" to yourself at the end of this segment, or your money back!

Then, we talk about Dr. Whale's theory of sex positivity ending date rape: would rape end if we made it okay for guys to pay women to drug themselves and get fucked unconscious? LOOOOOOL.........

Anyway, we bullshit and tell the girls a little bit about our weekend plans, Sydney Sweeney, animals' capacity for love, and SOOOO much more. XO sisters!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and our joyful meme page @th0tcels. Make an undetectable blood pact with us on Patreon. 

We've come together for an emergency session to address the end of the word "mother" and the woman who delivered the death blow: Meghan Freakin Trainor, Queen of PAWGs. 

Naturally that's not all: we discuss the pathetic state of everyday mens' fashion, the Chicago mayoral race (including a heartfelt tribute to our muppet queen Lori Lightfoot), and how to say various cuss words in sign language.

We give Kali Uchis and rightwing bodybuilder Twitter a piece of our mind too. Is it evil to drink liquor and should everyone stop doing it? Is it gay to have a ripped fizeek? Are muscle tee brands making the kids ghey? TUNE IN and find out...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the pod meme page @th0tcels. Contribute a generous pledge in our bid for city hall on Patreon. 

We're back with a vengenace! (We're=Onika,Vengeance=Burger)

We know we left you ladies hanging last week so this week we're unleashing a double-wide super-soaked hot-and-horny God-fearing two part special. We've accepted a truly prime list of topic suggestions from our listeners and get to the emotional heart of whatever mentally ill behavior went down online the last few weeks.

The first chapter is free for all, but if you want the FULL tea, you'll have to join the Thot Topics sisterhood officially with a little Patreon action. The second hour of the show is waiting for you BEYOND THE PAYWALL! 

We chat: the job hunt, A&W, Caroline Polachek, Chinese people eating animals while they're still moving, raising children, gay monogamy (I know, I know), Angela Bassett doing the thing, Salina EsTitties, and SO much more. I can't even begin to describe how much ground we cover.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official podstagram @th0tcels. Humble yourself in Jesus's name on Patreon. 

It was a slow news week so we decide to take the cultural temperature-- by performing an in-depth review of the current Top 15 on the Billboard Hot 100. What does the presence of Bebe Rexha mean for America? Is Miley Cyrus "Flowers" astroturfed or do people really like this shit? Does mummy know that daddy's getting hot at the bodyshop? ALL is revealed.

But that's not all: we christen Cris's new apartment and talk gnocchi, firemen, sniffing snuff, specialty donuts and OF COURSE...

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