Thot Topics

This week, we attempt what is likely the most difficult challenge in the history of the program: we comb through a bracket of Lana Del Rey's discography and attempt to crown ONE SONG as the supreme. All factors are considered, all truths are weighed, and we think you'll love how the dust settles. Or maybe you won't. Sue us!

But naturally that's not all. During the 40 minute long preshow (lol) we discuss Nick's vaccination tweet and FOLLOW YOUR GUT NO MATTER WHAT 2023. Not only that: we do a state of the union address on gay people and wonder why looking at another gay person (and hating him) is a lot like looking in the FREAKIN mirror!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Instagram @th0tcels. Put us in a movie on Patreon.

**PREVIEW ONLY ON THE MAIN FEED. FULL EP FOR PATRONS!**

What if Trump's platform in 2024 was bringing back tops that suck and slurp on bussy lips...

We've just completed negotiations to be Lena Dunham's pallbearers when the horrible day inevitably comes, but in the meantime we've convened for a high-intensity GIRLS CHAT! This week, we pull a Jeffrey Dahmer and gobble up the news! Yum yum yum!

First, we talk about the obsession with true crime and why "real" violence just isn't cutting it anymore-- IS it healthy to spend all your free time listening to podcasts about people being brutalized? We hazard a guess...

But it's not all doom and gloom baby. We also pick apart Kim Petras scoring her first Top 5 hit in the US, Billy Eichner's new movie BROS flopping, and what makes straight people want to show up for movies about gays. Naturally we flap our gums in other directions too-- but you'll have to tune in to find out where they blow!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official Podstagram @th0tcels. Help Nick rent a movie theater on Patreon. This episode is free, but the next one won't be! Join the sisterhood NOW!

**PATRONS ONLY EPISODE**

To give, or not to give: THAT is the question. Wanna know our answer bitch?

We're back to cracktion and ready for the first episode following the fall shequinox. And you know what that means: no more hearing my loud A/C unit in the back of every episode! LOL. YAY!!!

This week, we catch up as sisters for a good while, mostly to psychoanalyze Cris and his recurring The Biggest Loser dream. But that's not all: we kind of review Bjork's new single ATOPOS and talk about how music starts being all about function when you get to be OLD like us (early twenties). PLUS: we have a question for the audience regarding weight room etiquette.

Then, we review Sam Smith and Kim Petras's collab track UNHOLY. Ohhhh my God. Oh my God. Fuck no dude. HELL no. We also talk about Nick's Rina Sawayama review getting rejected for being too "misogynist." And THEN we talk a bit about Adam Levine's filthy little white boy sexts. Spoiler alert but we think it's kind of precious! It's a classic Thot Topics romp, we think you'll enjoy

NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THIS!!!

We're baby got BACK and this week we're SETTLING IT. ONCE AND FOR ALL! We go through the annoying Twitter thread of the week wherein one GAY user asks: "What in the LGBT community do we need to talk about more??" 

If you immediately thought "nothing" then this is the episode for you. We settle the age-old debates of homosexuality, from the right people not wanting to fuck you, to "queer spaces that don't involve alcohol or sex." 

Now there's NO NEED to talk about any of this stuff anymore! We figured it all out!

Of course that's not all: we review Super Freaky Girl, talk about Nick's weed journey, the misery of The Job Search, and MORE! Get you a towel, it's so wet in our Jacuzzi!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Follow our new shitposting Instagram @th0tcels. Get us to our 300-sister goal on Patreon!

Disease strikes the Thot Topics Lounge and the girls are separated by FOUR WHOLE CITY BLOCKS by Nick's late-game Covid diagnosis. More like BLOWMIcron am I right? 

Covid may be able to keep us apart but it CAN'T extinguish our spirit, and this episode is just as sassy and girly as ever. While Nick repeatedly hacks up a lung on the air, we cover a LOT of ground. Nick's trip to the deep south inspires us to ask: is homophobia real? Is being a libtard an appropriate response to being gay? Is Memphis the worst city in the country? Much is discussed, and Nick reveals the present he bought for Cris in New Orleans.

Then, it's business as usual. We review the new Carly Rae Jepsen single "Beach House" and the woman Carly Rae Jepsen overall. Then, we talk about Kim Petras's leaked album and what's so fucked up about manufacturing a "moment." Last, we talk about Themi Lovato returning to plain old Demi-- and what that means for the pronoun community at large.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. See this cute whale on the beach on Patreon.

ALERT! NO MORE MR. NICE GAY! We now have enough paying sisters to keep satisfied that we are changing our schedule-- we'll be alternating every week between free and paid episodes. If you don't like it, blow us! Or send us $4 on Patreon and gain access to every episode, every week. This week is paid, but it's a real banger episode-- you definitely don't want to miss babe.

Pollen: It's the Reason for the Sneazin'!

We're back, and not a moment too late! This week, the girls have a therapeutic venting sesh over life's greatest quandaries-- whether tis nobler in the mind to have a gay coworker, or to wish you were an owl who was still allowed in Great American Bagel. Plus-- is the only way to regain our online privacy to constantly lie? There's more but I honestly can't remember. Drain gang!

THEN, we discuss the picture seen 'round the world-- Lana Del Rey and her new boyfie Jack Donoghue. We judge the photo's artistic merits, but wind up going on a really long rant about twinks-- maybe the most definitive thing anyone's ever said about twinks and why they'll never understand Lana. 

Lastly, we try to discuss Christian Walker and Kehlani fighting in the Starbucks line and wind up discussing Grindr and the Gay Coomer Mindset. In the business, that's what they call a MISDIRECT. We feel you'll enjoy.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Rally against the free folk on Patreon.