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This week, Bert and Tom dive headfirst into the weirdest brain rot rabbit holes yet — from testing out VR porn ("you can see her fillings!") to auditioning more OnlyFans submissions, one of which that includes… a unique Por Osos bottle cameo. The Bears also pitch a business idea for a grown-man “locker room,” debate how Bert's woke daughters compare to Tom's redneck sons, and discover the world’s wildest dogs and cats. Plus: Jelly Roll’s 5K transformation, Savannah cats that look like mini-lions, and Bert’s desperate plan to sneak another puppy past Leanne.

It’s sex robots, freeze porn, fat-to-fit inspiration, and pet chaos all rolled into one classic 2 Bears, 1 Cave mess.

2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 309

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:03:22 - Jimmy Kimmel and Tylenol

00:08:17 - New Interest

00:15:54 - What The Kids Are Into

00:27:48 - The Bears Draft A Prospect

00:38:32 - The Locker Room Experience

00:46:18 - Jelly Roll

00:52:10 - Cane Corso vs. Dogo Argentino vs. Savannah Cat

01:01:14 - Wrap Up