That is until last year, when Zack disclosed to Kelly that he had been viewing pornography off and on since childhood. Kelly’s distress from the disclosure came not so much because Zack had been viewing porn, but because he had managed to keep this from her despite her having asked him explicitly about it over the years. Learning that he was capable of deceiving her in this way was completely and understandably disorganizing for Kelly.

A year into it, they now see clearly that their previously cordial relationship was actually the result of a lot of validation-seeking, masking, and caretaking. Their relationship post-disclosure has been much more tumultuous–with higher highs and lower lows than they could have previously imagined.

In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Zack and Kelly to get a better understanding of their history and helps them see how their upbringing has impacted their past and current marital dynamic.

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