Is a coworker getting on your nerves? Dan and Alison answer your questions with the help of Amy Gallo, the author of the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict. They talk through what to do when a coworker acts like their responsibilities are beneath them, a colleague you referred to the team is being aggressive and sneaky, or a fellow team member is coasting while you’re putting in long hours.

From Alison and Dan’s reading list:

HBR: Strategies for Working Smoothly with Your Peers by Rebecca Newton — “The goal is not to reduce the frequency with which we disagree with peers, or with which they disagree with us. The goal is to change how we feel about these conversations. Ironically, it’s by stepping further into the uncomfortable – through having courageous conversations, carving out seemingly impossible time to think, and being more willing to say and hear a variety of opinions – that we increase our comfort and confidence with peers.”

Book: HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict by Amy Gallo — “Luckily, however, when handled well, conflict can have positive outcomes. It can help you be more creative, spark new ideas, and even strengthen bonds with your coworkers.”

HBR: How to Deal with a Slacker Coworker by Carolyn O’Hara — “We’ve all worked with someone who doesn’t pull his own weight — a colleague who checks Facebook all day, takes two-hour lunch breaks, and never meets a deadline. But as irritating as it can be, you shouldn’t become the behavior police unless their slacking is materially affecting your work.”

HBR: The Best Teams Hold Themselves Accountable by Joseph Grenny — “The role of the boss should not be to settle problems or constantly monitor your team, it should be to create a team culture where peers address concerns immediately, directly and respectfully with each other. Yes, this takes time up front. But the return on investment happens fast as you regain lost time and see problems solved both better and faster.”