Hey listener, do you think Windom Earle’s plans had enough moving pieces yet? OF COURSE NOT! So he puts one of the background guys from Wayne’s World in a giant chess piece, shoots him with a crossbow, and leaves him as a gift at the gazebo where he saw Dale and Annie going on an obscenely romantic date.

Meanwhile: Pete tells Catherine that Andrew Eckhard’s epic puzzle box will take YEARS to open, but then he drops it and it opens…. to reveal ANOTHER PUZZLE BOX!!! The Miss Twin Peaks Contest is the site of many contestations, such as Bobby being a shithead to Shelly, Ben trying to make it Environmental, and Lana trying to sex-magic her way into a guaranteed win. Dick Tremayne hosts a wine-tasting event. Donna confronts her parents about the Ben Horne Secret but it doesn’t go anywhere. Audrey’s boy Jack does go somewhere though – but where??

⁂

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CORRECTIONS:

• Five Nights at Freddy’s came out after Sadie left high school
• Gabber is Dutch raver music, not British. Sorry, Dutch people

⁂

Things mentioned:

• The Sixth Sense
• Media Club Plus
• Jandek - Where Do You Go from Here
• Jacob Geller’s new book, “You’re Not Overthinking It”
• WPlace.live
• Les Cowboys Fringants - Break syndical

⁂

Find Sadie:

• Bluesky
• Letterboxd

Find Lily:

• YouTube
• Bluesky
• Letterboxd
• Instagram

⁂

Music by Jamie Page

Show art by Mya Fernandes-Giles

This episode edited by Lily

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The cliffhanger from last episode resolves into a bizarre sex assassination and then is never mentioned again. Weird LOL! Anyway! Dale and Harry have more pressing things on their plates, such as: Windom Earle schemes to kill the winner of the Miss Twin Peaks Contest, their Completely Innocent Bonsai Gift, and checking out a spooky cave. Gordon Cole is back in town, immediately reinstates Coop back into the FBI, and then they both fall in love with diner babes.

Meanwhile: Audrey is gonna go on a “full fucking flight and dinner” with Jack but gets redirected to becoming the Horne Business New Good Deeds Lady. She also teams up with Donna a bit to investigate Ben’s mysterious dealings with Donna’s mom. Donna gets a postcard from James. Coop REALLY hits it off with Annie, and Andy and Windom Earle do some crazy shit to a cave.

⁂

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Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected] and we may respond in a future episode!

⁂

Things mentioned:

• Backxwash/Clipping./Cooling Prongs 
• Black Eyes (band)
• Ice T presents: Mac Book repair
• Father John Misty
• William Friedkin – Sorcerer (also Cruising)
• Jandek
• Lady Emily

⁂

Find Sadie:

• Bluesky
• Letterboxd

Find Lily:

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• Bluesky
• Letterboxd
• Instagram

⁂

Music by Jamie Page

Show art by Mya Fernandes-Giles

This episode edited by Mary Chan at Organized Sound Productions

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Windom Earle has upped his costume budget HUGELY, busting out 2 frankly convincing disguises to phreak out Donna and spy on Shelly and Dale. Also he’s so mad that Dale is outsourcing his chess to Pete. But Dale has no time for chess! He has to listen to the Log Lady tell him about triangles. Harry is not taking Josie’s death well, and spends the whole episode in “Sicko Mode”. Then Eckhard’s former assistant tries to sleep with him I guess.

Meanwhile: Norma’s sister Annie arrives in town! Coop loves her coffee, and maybe also her big blue eyes?? Andy doesn’t know jack about chess. Audrey does know Jack, and they go on a picnic. Nadine and Ed go to divorce therapy. Ben is seemingly actually reformed? And DICK TREMAYNE is back to MC The Stop Ghostwood Save The Weasel Fashion Show, in which Andy and Lucy SLAY!!!!!!! and the beloved weasel runs amok!!!

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Things mentioned:

• Joyce Wieland
• Sadie doing painting (I ended up not putting a picture in here cuz it’s still too in progress hehe)
• alex trebek genre
• Final Fantasy VII
• McKinley Dixon – Magic, Alive!
• Formless Star
• Neil Cicierega – Wndrwll
• that do you regard this man with respect or disgust post
• W.B. Yeats – The Second Coming
• Jeremy Fragrance

⁂

Find Sadie:

• Bluesky
• Letterboxd

Find Lily:

• YouTube
• Bluesky
• Letterboxd
• Instagram

⁂

Music by Jamie Page

Show art by Mya Fernandes-Giles

This episode edited by Sadie

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Damn, this episode sucks!

Pete cooks up a stalematey chess move for Dale, the girls put together the poem Earle wrote for them, and over at the catboy shack Windom tells Leo he loves poetry and making arrows...? Nadine dumps Ed, who for real this time proposes to Norma, who dumps Hank, who’s off to jail for real this time. A Hot Guy shows up with Audrey’s name on him...! Finally, Josie Packard, and her plotline, meet a bitter, racist, uninspired end.

Also: ableism leaves a foul taste in Sadie’s milf, Lily does NOT say the F-slur, and your illustrious hosts debut a new segment: TWIN PEAKS BINGO!!

⁂

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Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected] and we may respond in a future episode!

⁂

Things mentioned:

"Songs in the Key of Z" by Irwin Chusid

Blue Corpse (Jandek album)

Daniel Johnston

The Devil and Daniel Johnston (documentary)

House (film)

Face Like a Frog (short film)

Marina Abramovic's pieces “Rest Energy”, “Lovers”, and "The Artist Is Present"

⁂

Find Sadie:

• Bluesky
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Find Lily:

• YouTube
• Bluesky
• Letterboxd
• Instagram

⁂

Music by Jamie Page

Show art by Mya Fernandes-Giles

This episode edited by Lily

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

FIRST THINGS FIRST: WE ARE NOT FREE FROM FUCK MANSION!!!! I REPEAT, THERE HAS BEEN NO ESCAPE FROM FUCK MANSION!!!!!!!! GET BACK IN THERE JAMES HURLEY YOU POUTING LITTLE SLUT!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, Windom Earle decided just the one chess-based high-concept fucked up clue delivery system wasn’t enough, so he sent pieces of his dead wife’s wedding dress to a bunch of cities that make a big C on a map. He’s still doing the chess thing though, which Dale deals with by contracting Pete, who it turns out has secretly been a chess genius the whole time? But other important Earle news: he’s really into playing the flute now? And has decided to keep Leo as a boy pet. Also he’s giving some message to Donna, Audrey, and Shelley, and leaves a spooky death mask for Dale but that’s less important.

Meanwhile: Hank is getting sent back to the slammer for shooting Leo. Nadine invents polyamory when she walks in on Ed and Norma in the afterglow. The cops suspect Josie probably shot that guy. But Catherine seems ready to sell Josie to Thomas Echkardt as I guess a sex slave, in what continues to be the worst plotline on the show. And last but not least, Audrey, Jerry, and Jacoby bring Ben back from civil war land by having him win the civil war for the South ????????????

⁂

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Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected] and we may respond in a future episode!

⁂

Things mentioned:

• Sadie’s grandma Claire, and birds
• BirdNote
• The Fall (2006)
• Ribbon Skirt – Bite Down
• “The Cohost Sheev Palpatine Pivot! Post”
• Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
• The First Wives Club (1996)
• The “wrow” vine
• Cliff Blazinksi’s dumb Bioshock: Infinite Roger Ebert death post lol
• Hundreds of Beavers (2022)

⁂

Find Sadie:

• Bluesky
• Letterboxd

Find Lily:

• YouTube
• Bluesky
• Letterboxd
• Instagram

⁂

Music by Jamie Page

Show art by Mya Fernandes-Giles

This episode edited by Mary Chan at Organized Sound Productions

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A pretty bad episode of Twin Peaks makes for a killer episode of TS TV. Coop spends a lot of time telling us about how Earle is so epic and twisted. Leo becomes a slasher villain for a scene and then runs off into the woods like Frankenstein's monster. Ben is still doing the civil war. The “old cranky mayor who is mad his brother died from f***ing this preternaturally hot woman” plotline resolves in the most insane way imaginable. Finally, Lily forgets the mill burned down and Sadie doesn't correct me– I mean her? What gives, Sadie??

⁂

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Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected] and we may respond in a future episode!

⁂

Things mentioned:

• Jackson Galaxy 
• Mount Eerie
• Xiu Xiu
• Castration Movie
• I Saw the TV Glow (check out our episode on it!)
• Reason Over Passion (film)
• Reason Over Passion (quilt)
• Joyce Wieland’s “What They Do at Sunrise”
• Sherilyn Fenn’s Instagram account
• “The dogshit Obi-Wan Kenobi show”
• Jeffrey Marsh (evil Twin Peaks character)
• Jeffrey Marsh (2010s nonbinary influencer)

⁂

Find Sadie:

• Bluesky
• Letterboxd

Find Lily:

• YouTube
• Bluesky
• Letterboxd
• Instagram

⁂

Music by Jamie Page

Show art by Mya Fernandes-Giles

This episode edited by Lily

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Coop gets the lowdown from Major Briggs on his space spirit journey, and learns of some pretty rad visions and not too much else. Then he and Denise initiate Operation Boymoder to snag the nefarious Canadians, with a TS Gambit in the back pocket for when Ernie's profuse sweat makes things go south. 

Meanwhile: Dick and Andy launch their own investigation into whether Little Nicky is the devil from da bible. Ed and Norma MAKE OUT!!!!!! Then Hank beats Ed up!! Then Nadine beats Hank up!!!!!!!! Ben Horne is all in on the civil war. Harry continues to be kinda gross and useless to Josie. LEO WAKES UP!! And in Fuck Mansion James is…getting played…. on some Lannister twins shit????? And Windom Earle sends his next move…….in the form of MURDER!!!!!

⁂

Support the show on Patreon for early access and exclusive movie discussion episodes

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Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected] and we may respond in a future episode!

⁂

Things mentioned:

• Universal Language (2024)
• La Chimera (2023)
• The Brutalist (2024)
• I Saw the TV Glow (2024)
• The Twentieth Century (2023) (and its bizarre wikipedia article LOL)
• Lily’s notes on vanishing Video
• El Ghourabaa
• Leila Marshy – My Thievery of the People
• Super Mario Odyssey
• Xiu Xiu: The Sent Down Girl (1998)
• wendy carlos boymoding video
• The Straight Story (1999)
• Jonni Peppers' movies Wasteland (2019) and Barber Westchester (2021)

⁂

Find Sadie:

• Bluesky
• Letterboxd

Find Lily:

• YouTube
• Bluesky
• Letterboxd
• Instagram

⁂

Music by Jamie Page

Show art by Mya Fernandes-Giles

This episode edited by Mary Chan at Organized Sound Productions

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dale decides to buy a house in Twin Peaks, and settles on the insanely cursed Dead Dog Farm. But oh mon dieu…. there was a cocaine deal done right there?? And they left their coke lying around and it could clear his name !!!! What a deus ex machina! The only thing crazier would be if Garland Briggs reappeared in the middle of the night wearing a pilot’s outfit! Now let me take a big sip of this water….

Meanwhile: old newspaperman Dougie Milford dies from a heart attack from fucking too good. His brother wants to press charges but all the boys in town are too enamored with his newlywed widow Lana so they act out a renaissance painting of fawning over her, to Lucy’s chagrin. Nadine joins the wrestling team and nearly kills Mike the snake. James continues to get drawn deeper into his bizarre softcore porn/gothic novel subplot. Audrey has a shockingly bisexual reaction to meeting Denise. Ed has a new domino??? And last but not least: Andy and Dick Tremayne become convinced that Little Nicky IS the devil from the bible!!!!

⁂

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR NEXT EPISODE: I have covid so I can’t record the next episode content warning without sounding like a Ghoul but it’s basically just the show continues to be gross to Josie and the specter of Leo’s violence arises. Usual Twin Peaks fare otherwise!

⁂

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Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected] and we may respond in a future episode!

⁂

Things mentioned:

• Samuel Delany – Dhalgren
• Moby Dick
• Joyce Wieland
• Fiona Apple – Fetch The Bolt Cutters
• Dionne Brand – Thirty
• David Guetta Ends Racism (note this is not the original song he actually dropped but the original is not much better tbh)
• Lust, Caution (2007) (NOT Lust, Passion I said it wrong lol)

⁂

Find Sadie:

• Bluesky
• Letterboxd

Find Lily:

• YouTube
• Bluesky
• Letterboxd
• Instagram

⁂

Music by Jamie Page

Show art by Mya Fernandes-Giles

This episode edited by Sadie

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TS Denise Bryson, FBI top dog, sashays into Twin Peaks to harsh-but-fairly investigate Cooper's case, and get in a lil dancing on the side. Garland's disappearance might have something to do with the Black and White Lodges. Nadine has the hots for Mike The Snake which gets her recruited into the wrestling team. James rides his big dumb motorcycle directly into softcore 🌽 (sorry, don't want this episode to get blocked). Andy and Dick Tremayne’s dad competition is complicated by the fact that Dick’s “Happy Helping Hand” foster boy loves Looney Toons antics and pranks. Hank dumps Ben Horne, who gets a bit loopy about it. Statler gets married even though Waldorf doesn’t like it. And Josie’s back! Unfortunately, the show puts her in the worst subplot of all time.

⁂

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Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected] and we may respond in a future episode!

⁂

Things mentioned:

1000xResist

Abnormal Mapping’s episode about 1000xResist

Lorelei and the Laser Eyes

Wild at Heart

Movie Recs by Lex

Phil Elverum (and his album Night Palace as Mount Eerie)

Kentucky Route Zero

Xiu Xiu Plays the Music of Twin Peaks

Gilmore Girls

⁂

Find Sadie:

• Bluesky
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Find Lily:

• YouTube
• Bluesky
• Letterboxd
• Instagram

⁂

Music by Jamie Page

Show art by Mya Fernandes-Giles

This episode edited by Lily

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The show opens with an offputtingly serene Leland funeral sequence, where we also learn that Dwayne and Dougie Milford, the mayor and the publisher of the local newspaper, are brothers and angry at each other?

Coop is very sad to have to say goodbye to Twin Peaks, but duty calls and he’s off to do FBI stuff….. or is he??? Turns out he’s under investigation, sponsored by Jean Renault and the dastardly RCMP! To take the edge off, he goes fishing with Garland Briggs, who…disappears?!

Meanwhile: Jacoby, Catherine, and Josie all reappear with varying degrees of explanation, Nadine is the best, most throwingest cheerleader Twin Peaks High has ever seen, Andy and Dick’s dad contest begins, Bobby has a new get rich quick scheme but gets distracted by getting his dick sucked, Norma’s mom is MT Wentz, and her husband is talked by Hank and Jean into doing CyberCrime.

⁂

Support the show on Patreon for early access and exclusive movie discussion episodes

Follow the show on Bluesky

Questions? Comments? Email us at [email protected] and we may respond in a future episode!

⁂

Things mentioned:

• The death of David Lynch :( (and also like all of his movies)
• Lily’s really good DIY HRT video
• Anne Anlin Cheng – “Ornamentalism”
• Roland Barthes’ idea of the “punctum” in photography
• you bitches can't even spell prague
• stranger things – the lost sister, which DOES EXIST!!

⁂

Find Sadie:

• Bluesky
• Letterboxd

Find Lily:

• YouTube
• Bluesky
• Letterboxd
• Instagram

⁂

Music by Jamie Page

Show art by Mya Fernandes-Giles

This episode edited by Mary Chan at Organized Sound Productions

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.