"That face card has never declined once in his life.”

As promised, Catherine Hardwicke's stunning 2009 adaptation of Twilight is on our screens this week. We're joined by longtime friend and Twilight superfan Sam, and the hater police are in for a treat because it's our least critical episode of all time (and if we're being realistic, probably for all time). I'd say to take a sip every time we say the word "iconic" or talk about what a life-changing piece of cinema this is, but you would probably die.

Don't worry, we still did our homework and bring in tons of behind-the-scenes details about the cast and crew, filming locations, wardrobe and makeup, and how this film made it from page to screen, but the episode more or less devolves into a quote-off by the end. The girls that get it, get it. Hold on tight, spider monkey.

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