Mary's a secret Juggalo. Farmers Markets. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Good farmers market lip balm. Shit List of the Week: Body language and handwriting experts. Mary's turning into a real Chong. Recording dreams and Kelley's disturbing confession. We try out our new joke segment: Beat You to the Punchline! We test out one of the hints from last week – lemon + salt for cleaning copper. Kelley's Hint List! Use the proper thread when darning. Clean areaways to prevent flooding. How to iron pleats. Making quick pies with pudding mix. How to iron tucks. Hang sheets correctly for easy ironing. Greasing small cake pans and muffin tins. A stich in time explained. Examine your grates (for the fireplace?). Check all moving parts of your furnace. Cleaning suede and leather shoes. Umpire Pants Out!

Mary’s coming in hot on this one folks! SloJos on GoFos. Bill's follow-up from last week: License plates, toothpicks, and Ham radios. Shit List of the Week: Mary’s doctor experience and the medical industry. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Perfume Commercials and hummingbirds. Smoky and the Bandit should be remade with a modern premise and cast. We hold grudges in this family. Kelley tries to talk to a stranger. Kelley’s Hint List! Use soft water. Polishing foggy wood furniture. Keeping peeled apples from browning. Removing shine from serge suits. Dumb vacuuming hint. Don’t keep produce on ice. Heat your wax paper to seal in sandwiches. Tune in next week when we test a hint – lemon juice and salt to clean copper. Umpire pants out!

Weed talk and natural medicines. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: CBD & THC for pain management & Weighted blankets. Shit List of the Week: Personalized license plates. We discuss Ham radio, even though we don’t know what we’re talking about. Distracted driving. Bill starts podcast beef. Secret toothpick email. Everyone watch Cobra tonight, it's nice and short. Kelley's Hint List! More hosiery hints. How to repair a linoleum floor. Filling muffin tins. Turning light molasses dark. Cleaning leather chairs. Drying your leather gloves. Umpire Pants Out!

Sorry for the late posting, guys! New intro jingle. Mary’s back! Can Bill’s family beat him up? Mary’s impressively bad fantasy football draft, and how our dad picked his team name. Toaster talk. Kelley’s a fare-skipper now. Shit List of the Week: People who think they’re qualified to give advice for no reason, and non hand washers. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Pilot Bravo pens and safety razors. Kelley’s Hint List! Use scarves to protect your collar. Cover jelly with paraffin. Hard to open drawers tip. What to do if you only need a little lemon juice. Drying sweaters and hose. Use beeswax on your stockings. Draining your hot water boiler. Operate your car at the right temp, and store your battery correctly. Separating egg whites. Trial layout for patterns. Use a bag for your flour coating. Dry-cleaning your gloves at home. Use a two-sided bucket for mopping. Umpire Pants Out!

Crack open a cold joint, and hear Kelley’s gross story about a wet one. We’ve got an iron update! Shit List of the Week: The term Baby Bump and Baby on Board Stickers. Kelley gets a medical term wrong. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Fried Shallots. Bill teases an upcoming segment – Can his family beat him up? Kelley tells a rambling story about wearing a skirt downtown, and trying to make a purchase at Target. Kelley’s Hint List! Use your (vacuum) cleaner attachments. Check floors to save rugs and carpets. Storing bread in humid weather. How to launder sweaters. Venetian blinds hint. How to frost cakes. Lightly fold damp laundry before ironing. Make ahead pastry mix. Where to build bookshelves. Umpire Pants Out!

No more movie talk. The 2000s are confusing to talk about when it comes to decades. Shit List of the Week: The Disney Corporation. Kelley gets her only “fact” about 2005 wrong (she was not married in 2006). Bill’s movie review of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: The movie Young Einstein. Mary emails in from Costa Rica. Shit List of the Week: The terms “hubby” and “hubs” and car dealerships. Online comment sections. Kelley’s second favorite teacher. How long can we hold our breath? Kelley’s Hint List! Make a coconut and orange ambrosia. Keep lemons fresh longer. How to wash leather gloves. Keeping your ash pit clean. Bill’s new business plan selling ashtrays. Don’t wait to re-sole your shoes. Arranging flowers and keeping them fresh. Don’t peel your carrots. Custard baking tip. How to iron skirts.

Hi Nutballs. Unfortunately we don’t have a new show this week. Bill is sick and Mary is in Costa Rica, and everyone voted against me interviewing the cats and harassing Herman to talk. Please enjoy this old episode of Best Ofs, and hey, tell your friends to check this one out if they’ve never listened!

Kelley starts off with the wrong episode number, we're doing great, folks! Some dick and ball talk off the top. Movies from 2003. Joke Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Pirate Bay. Mary emails from Costa Rica. The Wizard of Oz. Judy Garland. Impossible Burgers coming to Burger King and other fast food. Restaurant reviews. Crappy syndication shows. Kelley's weird encounter with a stranger. Giving directions to strangers. We try to remember the real Ice Cream Truck of the Week: The Bash Brothers by The Lonely Island. Shit List of the Week: Shortening The Astros to The Stros, and the incorrect phrase "how it looks like." Kelley's Hint List! How to tell if your cloth lining will rub off. How to use scraps from dress fabric. How to know what to "tub" and what to dry clean. Prevent scratching on your fine china. Buy fresh fruit in season, and other confusing produce tips. Bill wants some spiced apples. Umpire Pants Out!

Enjoy the seagull sounds in this one, guys! Movies from 2002. Bill’s Hood River camping adventure. Mary emails with a Shrek memory. Mariners and hometown loyalty. Hockey team. Stadium food and drinks. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: The Show Man Down. Kelley’s Hint List! Put a pail of water in a freshly painted room. Freshen up veils with gum arabic. Old timey pharmacies. Love for drugstores. Bill’s nailing hint. Removing fog from furniture. Separating dates and raisins. Ironing linen hint. Cloth belts with simulated backing hint. Weirdoes running for local office. Save 10 cents making your own ink! Umpire Pants Out!

It's episode 101! (You didn't miss 100, it's still coming.) Movies from 2001. Bill goes by Bildo Ballbags now. Listening to Kenny G in dad's 80s Fiat. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Eating Cereal with Ice Cream. Weedies. Getting too high. Break. Mary is here and she's drinking random stuff from a farmers market in Costa Rica. Kelley's hint list: Baking potatoes quickly (Mary gets mad at this one, or maybe just tea-crazy). Re-doing a previous hint about blemished produce. Shop deliberately for misshapen tomatoes. Mary's Shit List of the Week: The phrases "for cheap" and "based off of." Confusing thread hint for sewing. Make a new bouquet with the long lasting flowers in your arrangement. Don't rely on memory for phone numbers. Saving cracked eggs. Ant update: Cleaner ants still freak Kelley out. Umpire Pants Out.