Two D' Days.

That's what Clayton calls them.

The day he discovered the sexual affair. And the day he found out it wasn't the only one.

She cheated. Twice.

When he found out about the affairs, his reality shattered. He stopped functioning. Sat on the couch. Scrolled TikTok for answers.

Six months later?

His marriage is still rocky.

But he's calm. Clear. Grounded. And not afraid anymore.

In this episode, Clayton shares what happened after joining Healthy Men-tality and how nervous system regulation changed everything, not by saving his marriage overnight, but by rebuilding him.

We unpack:

• What betrayal actually does to a man's nervous system

• Why breathwork felt "sketchy" (until it rocked his world)

• The physical experience of emotional release (yes… including the T-Rex arms)

• Killing the people pleaser without becoming an asshole

• Emotional detachment vs. emotional shutdown

• Setting boundaries when trust is gone

• The moment divorce stopped scaring him

• How showing up for himself made him a better father

Clayton shares what it looked like to:

• Stop performing for love

• Stop negotiating self-respect

• Stop trying to control someone else's choices

• Draw a line in the sand

• Show up as a father with presence and clarity

He says something powerful in this episode:

"The old me is dead."

And what replaced him?

A man who can sit in sadness without collapsing. A man who doesn't fear divorce. A man who doesn't chase breadcrumbs. A man who can say: "I'm not abandoning myself anymore."

If you're in a relationship that's falling apart… If you're trying to earn love through performance… If you feel shattered, dysregulated, stuck…

This episode will hit.

If you resonated with Clayton's story, I'm hosting a free 60-minute live training:

We'll break down:

• Why you shut down, blow up, or chase

• How survival mode sabotages connection

• The 3-step Regulate. Lead. Connect. framework

• What it actually means to become emotionally safe

There are only 3 live class times and I cap attendance so I can answer questions.

👉 Save your seat at: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/rebuild⁠

• Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/saa⁠

• Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/healthymen⁠

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You finally decided to do the work.

You're learning about nervous system regulation.

You're reflecting on your patterns.

You're trying to show up differently.

And instead of relief…

She says:

"Why now?"

"I've been asking for this for years."

In this episode, Tara breaks down:

• Why resentment often shows up when growth begins

• What emotional shutdown in women actually means

• Why your healing doesn't automatically repair years of micro-betrayals

• How to develop emotional range instead of emotional volatility

• What emotional safety actually means (beyond the buzzword)

• Why empathy isn't weakness — it's leadership

If you're navigating a separation, divorce, or relationship breakdown… If she feels emotionally out of reach… If you freeze, shut down, over-explain, or get defensive in conflict…

This episode will challenge you — and give you a path forward.

Want to go deeper?

Register for the free training:

From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuilding the Man

👉 ⁠unblockyourbs.com/rebuild⁠

• Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/saa⁠

• Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/healthymen⁠

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

If every conversation with your partner feels like an attack…

If feedback turns into defensiveness, shutdowns, or arguments…

If you keep asking yourself, "Why does this keep happening?"

This episode is for you.

In today's conversation, I break down why defensiveness isn't confidence or self-advocacy… it's a nervous system response rooted in shame and early childhood wiring.

We're unpacking:

• Why your body reacts before your logic ever shows up

• How defensiveness protects an identity wound, not your relationship

• The difference between guilt ("I did something wrong") and shame ("I am wrong")

• Why high-achieving men feel regulated at work but unravel at home

• How childhood beliefs quietly drive adult relationship conflict

• What actually changes when you heal self-worth instead of chasing validation

This isn't about blaming your partner.It's about understanding what's happening inside you, and learning how to interrupt the cycle so you can show up steady, grounded, and emotionally safe.

If you're ready to stop surviving your relationship and start rebuilding from the inside out, I'm inviting you to my free training:

👉 From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuild

A one-hour class on nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and rebuilding connection without shame or self-abandonment.

Register here: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/rebuild⁠

• Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/saa⁠

• Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: ⁠unblockyourbs.com/healthymen⁠

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

When life punches you in the throat (flu, ice storm, a branch through your roof at 5am… you know, casual "unprecedented times" stuff), you learn real fast what "emotional safety" actually means.

And here's the thing: emotional safety has become a buzzword. A lot of women use it. A lot of men hear it and instantly translate it as physical safety.

"I've never hit her." "I don't scream." "I would never hurt her."

Cool… but that's not the conversation your partner is trying to have.

In this episode, I'm breaking down what an emotionally safe partner is NOT—because most relationships aren't falling apart from one big dramatic event. They're dying from the daily patterns: defensiveness, fixing, shutting down, walking on eggshells, and two nervous systems treating each other like threats.

Spoiler alert: You can't create emotional safety with someone if you don't know how to be emotionally safe within yourself.

• Why "I never get upset" isn't emotional safety - it's usually repression

• The difference between uncomfortable vs unsafe (and why this wrecks communication)

• Why walking on eggshells is a relationship death sentence

• The Fixer/Rescuer trap: how "solving it" is often you avoiding your own discomfort

• Why the real root problems aren't the dishwasher, the tone, or the text message

• How trauma (big T and little t) gets stuck in the body and drives your reactions

• Why therapy-speak doesn't equal healing (and why your partner can feel the difference)

• The skill that changes everything: curiosity > defensiveness

Next week, registration opens for my biggest free training yet: "From Relationship Rock Bottom to Rebuild" We're going deep on nervous system regulation, relationship patterns, and what it actually takes to become an emotionally safe partner.

If you're not on my email list, you might miss the registration link so download this free 5 minute Breathwork gift and it'll get you on my email list and give you a daily reset tool to practice: www.unblockyourbs.com/5minutebreathwork

• Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa

• Men on a Healing Journey - Learn More and apply to join me inside of our 12 week group program just for men called Healthy Men-tality: unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Wayne is separated from his wife of 30 years and after starting therapy, he's realizing something that hits a lot of men like a truck:

He spent decades hiding emotions to keep the peace… until his body couldn't do it anymore.

In this coaching episode, we talk about emotional shutdown, suppressed rage, and why Wayne mostly feels anger and barely joy with almost nothing in between.

We break down what "freeze + fight" looks like in real life, why emotions feel scary when you've been trained to suppress them, and the practical tools that help you find the gap between trigger and reaction (so you don't explode… or disappear).

In this episode, we cover:

• Why emotional numbness isn't "cold"...it's survival

• The difference between fight vs freeze (and how men get stuck in both)

• A simple body-scan + breathing tool that takes 10 seconds

• How to widen the "gap" in the heat of conflict

• Why your self-image can't be built on achievements

• The "boiling pot with the lid on" metaphor (and why breathwork works to turn off the heat)

• How to stop outsourcing validation and start meeting your own needs

Want support?

If you're a man navigating separation/divorce, emotional shutdown, rage, or relationship patterns you're ready to change, you can learn more about Healthy Men-tality and even apply for the program here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

And if you ever want to be coached on the podcast, you can apply at unblockyourbs.com/podcast

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

He came home from an AA meeting. The kids were gone. His wife was gone. Divorce papers were sitting on the counter.

And that was just the beginning.

In today's coaching episode, I'm talking with Onus bout what happens when:

• your nervous system lives on high alert,

• being misunderstood feels like a threat,

• anger shows up before vulnerability,

• and your relationships become a constant attempt to "earn" love… instead of receive it.

We get into disorganized / fearful-avoidant attachment, ADHD rage, the difference between uncomfortable vs unsafe, and why co-parenting trust can't be rebuilt on vague mind-reading rules.

If you've ever thought: "Why do I get so defensive?" "Why don't I trust good things?" "Why does being alone feel unbearable?" …this one is for you.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why "ethical non-monogamy" often becomes outsourced connection when there aren't real boundaries

• The real fear under defensiveness: "If I'm alone, I don't matter"

• Why yelling can feel normal to one person and unsafe to another (and what to do with that)

• A simple co-regulation tool to use mid-conflict

• The question that changes co-parenting dynamics: "What's the roadmap back to trust?"

• Why shame keeps you stuck and what accountability actually looks like

Your next step (if you want support): If you're a man trying to rebuild your emotional stability, relationships, and self-respect after divorce or heartbreak, my program Healthy Men-tality was built for this.

Learn more + apply: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

And if you're not ready for that yet, start with one small thing today like downloading my free 5minute daily breathwork practice to take the edge off the intensity of your stress, anxiety, anger or fear… www.unblockyourbs.com/5minbreathwork

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

When your partner is "mad," most people react like anger is the problem. It's not. Anger is usually protection and what's underneath it is what actually needs care, leadership, and emotional intelligence.

In this episode, I'm going to break down what happens when men outsource emotional labor to women, why women's hormones can amplify stress without either partner realizing what's happening, and how relationships slowly lose intentionality until everything becomes reactive.

I'm also going to share the five common mistakes that keep couples stuck in the same cycle ESPECIALLY after kids, stress, and burnout enter the picture.

In this episode, I cover:

• Why anger is a protective emotion (and what's usually underneath it)

• How men's default "anger strategies" (shutdown, defensiveness, blow-ups) block connection

• What it looks like to outsource emotional labor to your partner (reassurance, hypervigilance, avoiding hard conversations)

• A practical view of women's hormones and why "she woke up anxious/mad" isn't always about you

• Why couples get trapped in "who does more" wars instead of co-creating a shared vision

• Accountability vs. apologizing: why "I'm sorry" without identity-level change is lip service

• The praise problem: why wanting validation for small tasks often means you don't validate yourself

• Why boundaries feel "controlling" to people who avoid conflict and what happens to your body when you repress emotions

• How emotional safety is built (and why intimacy often disappears when safety disappears)

If you're realizing you've been reactive, avoidant, or stuck in the same cycle and you want actual tools for emotional regulation, conflict, boundaries, and relational leadership check out the Healthy Men-tality program - a 12-week training + coaching container that teaches men nervous system regulation, childhood wiring, codependency healing, leadership in relationships, and practical emotional tools that change how you show up. Learn more and apply here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You can know all the nervous system language, do the breathwork, read the books, got therapy… and still find yourself lying awake at 3 a.m. replaying every conversation with your partner (past or present), wondering why you STILL feel like a failure.

In today's episode, I coach Autumn - a recently divorced listener to the pod - through the question that's been running her entire life since childhood… "Am I enough?"

What You'll Hear in This Episode:

• How fear of failure and "am I enough?" get tangled together and bleed into every area of your life.

• What functional freeze actually looks like in real life (spoiler: you can still go to work, pay bills, and be completely shut down).

• Why your brain loops at night and how to work with your body instead of fighting it when you can't sleep.

• The moment Autumn realizes she's still competing with her younger brother's "golden child" status and how that old comparison is driving her money, success, and relationship stress.

• The difference between being a human doing and a human being, and why rest feels so unsafe when your worth has always been tied to performance.

• How childhood people-pleasing patterns shows up as over-functioning in adult relationships.

• A simple way to notice whether you're acting from self-abandonment or self-respect in how you're showing up in relationships.

If you've ever sat in bed thinking, "I've done so much healing work - why am I still triggered by this?", this episode will help you see that you're not broken. Your nervous system is just running the only pattern it's ever known - staying safe by believing you're never enough.

Once you can see that familiar pattern, you can start choosing something different to shift out of toxic patterns and cycles!

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

When you're going through a separation or divorce, the holiday season doesn't feel magical…

it feels like a spotlight on everything that's changed.

Waking up in a quiet house… splitting time with your kids for the first time… trying to act "fine" while everyone around you is celebrating, it can make even the strongest men feel cracked open.

In this episode, I share what no one prepares you for during the first (or third) holiday season when your family dynamic looks different than you ever imagined and how to survive it without collapsing into shame, isolation, or panic.

More importantly, we talk about how to stop resisting what is so you can start creating a holiday experience that doesn't make you dread December every year.

• Why loneliness hits harder when you're already grieving the life you thought you'd have

• The difference between pain and suffering (and why one is optional)

• How to make this season suck less without forcing joy or pretending you're okay

• Creative ways to redefine holidays when you're without your kids

• What to do when family expectations make everything worse

• How to stop seeing being alone as evidence that you're unlovable

• The mindset shift that turns holidays from something you endure into something you can shape

If this season feels heavy, this episode will help you take back choice, control, and dignity even when nothing looks the way you wanted it to.

AND AS MY GIFT TO OUR PODCAST LISTENERS IN NAVIGATING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON TO SUCK LESS - come learn to regulate your nervous system with Somatic Breathwork inside of my Breathwork Community called The Self Aware Army for only $1 for your first month in the program (then $39/month thereafter - cancel anytime).

To Learn More about the Self Aware Army and to Get started today for Only $1 www.unblockyourbs.com/blackfriday

You'll get:

• Live monthly somatic breathwork sessions

• On-demand 24/7 breathwork library

• Coaching support

• A community that gets it and is healing together

If there was ever a time to have tools instead of just trying to "get through it," it's right now.

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

When Brian joined Healthy Men-tality, his marriage was on life support. He was desperate to fix the cracks that had formed after trust was broken but what he discovered was that the real repair had to start within himself.

In this raw, powerful conversation, Brian shares how learning nervous system regulation, emotional safety, and inner healing shifted him from people-pleasing and fear of abandonment to grounded self-leadership.

You'll hear:

• What happens when men stop fixing and start feeling

• The cycle of rejection and resentment that kills connection

• How breathwork became a bridge back to emotional safety

• Why learning to be present changed his family's dynamic

• What rebuilding trust really looks like… with yourself and your partner

If your marriage feels impossible, this episode is living proof that healing is possible but it starts with you.

👉 Learn more about the Healthy Men-tality program and apply here: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

__________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.