The Unfinished Idea  |  Autism, ADHD, AuDHD & Neurodivergent parenting

Understanding PDA: Parenting a Child with Pathological Demand Avoidance


Listen Later

CHECK OUT UNFINISHED RESOURCES & MERCH!

What if even the simplest request—like “put on your shoes”—triggered a fight-or-flight response? For families raising a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), this is everyday reality. Misunderstood, under-researched, and often dismissed, PDA presents unique challenges for both children and parents navigating a system that doesn’t always recognize it.


Meet Jessie Townz, a mom raising a 7-year-old son with PDA. Jessie openly shares her journey of learning, adapting, and shifting her entire parenting mindset to meet her child’s needs. With lived experience and years of trial, error, and breakthroughs, Jessie brings both practical wisdom and encouragement to other parents navigating PDA.
TOPICS DISCUSSED
What PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) really means
Why PDA is not included in the DSM-5
Common misunderstandings about PDA behavior
Parenting strategies to reduce demands and calm dysregulation
The role of language and reframing requests
Family dynamics and sibling impacts
Supporting families with PDA children
Cultural and generational challenges in understanding PDA
TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE
PDA is a nervous system disability—children aren’t choosing not to comply, they often can’t.
Language matters: shifting from “You must” to supportive phrasing helps reduce anxiety.
Dysregulation can take 90 minutes or more for a child to recover from, making prevention key.
Parents often face judgment from others who don’t understand PDA—education and communication are vital.
The mindset shift of “not won’t, but can’t” is life-changing for families.
Supporting siblings and extended family education helps create a calmer home environment.


LINKS:
Follow Jessie’s journey

Join the Unfinished Community WhatsApp. Where you can share your everyday joys, struggles, and differences! Click here to join.
Sign up to our newsletter where we continue the conversation along with sharing helpful resources and techniques tried out by parents and professionals in the neurodiverse world.
You can know get the episodes on YouTube! Click here to subscribe.
Follow the show on all the socials @theunfinishedidea - look for the brain!
Instagram

Facebook

LinkedIn

TikTok

Website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

The Unfinished Idea  |  Autism, ADHD, AuDHD & Neurodivergent parentingBy That Sounds Fun Network

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

8 ratings


More shows like The Unfinished Idea | Autism, ADHD, AuDHD & Neurodivergent parenting

View all
The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast by The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast

The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast

4,890 Listeners

Don't Mom Alone Podcast by Don't Mom Alone Podcast

Don't Mom Alone Podcast

2,326 Listeners

That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs by That Sounds Fun Network

That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs

10,429 Listeners

The Carlos Whittaker Podcast by That Sounds Fun Network

The Carlos Whittaker Podcast

2,894 Listeners

Raising Boys & Girls by That Sounds Fun Network

Raising Boys & Girls

1,854 Listeners

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast by Debra Fileta, M.A., LPC and Creator of TrueLoveDates.com

Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

791 Listeners

Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids by Courtney DeFeo and Christian Parenting

Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

845 Listeners

The Jess Connolly Podcast by Jess Connolly

The Jess Connolly Podcast

860 Listeners

The Jennie Allen Podcast by Jennie Allen

The Jennie Allen Podcast

6,617 Listeners

She Reads Truth Podcast by She Reads Truth

She Reads Truth Podcast

2,812 Listeners

Be the Bridge Podcast with Latasha Morrison by Be the Bridge

Be the Bridge Podcast with Latasha Morrison

774 Listeners

Annie and Eddie Keep Talking by That Sounds Fun Network

Annie and Eddie Keep Talking

3,137 Listeners

Hey! It's The Luskos by AccessMore

Hey! It's The Luskos

506 Listeners

Happy & Healthy with Jeanine Amapola by Jeanine Amapola

Happy & Healthy with Jeanine Amapola

1,989 Listeners

Dadville with Dave Barnes and Jon McLaughlin by That Sounds Fun Network

Dadville with Dave Barnes and Jon McLaughlin

1,382 Listeners

We're Going There with Bianca Juarez by That Sounds Fun Network

We're Going There with Bianca Juarez

874 Listeners

Live in Love with Lauren Akins by That Sounds Fun Network

Live in Love with Lauren Akins

3,147 Listeners

Hope Still Wins with Ben Higgins by Hope Still Wins

Hope Still Wins with Ben Higgins

98 Listeners

Annie's MiniBFF Podcast by That Sounds Fun Network

Annie's MiniBFF Podcast

182 Listeners

Coffee with Kailey by That Sounds Fun Network

Coffee with Kailey

965 Listeners

Lisa Harper's Back Porch Theology by AccessMore

Lisa Harper's Back Porch Theology

2,856 Listeners

The Ruth Chou Simons Podcast by AccessMore

The Ruth Chou Simons Podcast

604 Listeners

The Snack Show with Jami Fallon by That Sounds Fun Network

The Snack Show with Jami Fallon

306 Listeners

Imagine Faith Talk by Kevin Olusola and Donovan Donnell

Imagine Faith Talk

132 Listeners

The Best of You by Dr. Alison Cook

The Best of You

835 Listeners

For the Good of the Public | The Morning Five by That Sounds Fun Network

For the Good of the Public | The Morning Five

135 Listeners

Let's Read the Gospels with Annie F. Downs by That Sounds Fun Network

Let's Read the Gospels with Annie F. Downs

2,431 Listeners

The After Party: a TSF Network Podcast by That Sounds Fun Network

The After Party: a TSF Network Podcast

25 Listeners

Well Coached with Chris Weinberg by Chris Weinberg

Well Coached with Chris Weinberg

9 Listeners

The David Magee Show by That Sounds Fun Network

The David Magee Show

18 Listeners