During this episode, Sarah Bergenfield shares a little about the path she and her daughter traveled to discover they are both autistic, and how as a therapist she is helping other neurodivergent individuals and neurodiverse couples as they move forward on their own unique journeys.

Sarah is a Certified Level 3, Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner. She provides information on the value of understanding the “parts” that may have been created as an undiagnosed autistic person. She also shares critically important information about Polyvagal Theory and why it's important to understand what happens when you are in a dysregulated or regulated state, as you are scanning for cues of "safety" or "danger". Sarah also talks about autism being a perceptual disorder and how this impacts the level of input coming in.

Sarah also addresses the importance of understanding your "sensory profile" and how gathering that information can help partners understand which senses are "over" or "under" responsive and how to address each. Sarah also explains how autistic individuals process from the "bottom up' and others process from the "top down". Understanding the way in which you and your partner process the world, can help you both find the "hot spots" in your relationship and work on addressing them with compassion and grace.

Lastly, Sarah talks about how important it is to shift the narratives we have around autism and neurodiversity. She shares a little bit about how she and her husband shifted their narrative around sex. After she began to understand her own sensory profile, then some of the challenges they had experienced began to make more sense. Since there are so many physical aspects of sex (ie: skin, touch, sound, smell, breath, etc.) it can be overwhelming, and when the autistic partner is not engaging in the way their partner may expect, it can feel like rejection to the non-autistic partner. Sarah also provides ideas about how each partner can discuss their sensory needs in a way that increases intimacy.

Sarah ends the episode by discussing the way she has described being autistic... "it's like being a bird flying in a garden and then flying into a window"...more specifically she asks "how can you prepare for a hazard you don't even see?"

If you would like to contact Sarah you can reach her at [email protected] or on her website at: www.thecuriousheart.com

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