These days an unprecedented number of both children and adults report feeling anxious and overwhelmed much of the time. Maybe you are one of them! Many of us find ourselves at the mercy of our smart phones, tablets and other devices, responding to every beep and ping as if our lives depended on it. We also may feel compelled to say yes to every invitation or request that comes our way. But then, when the time comes to follow through, we’d rather enjoy a long walk, spend some fun time with our loved ones or read a good book.

 

In the words of psychologist Dr. Anthony Rao (Tony), we have lost our “agency,’ the ability to make wise decisions and put those decisions into actions that are consistent with the life we want to live. We have lost the ability to be effective agents on our own behalf. And, in doing so, we are setting an example for our children to do the same. Tony joins Marti & Erin in this episode of Mom Enough to discuss highlights of the new book he has written with colleague Paul Napper, The Power of Agency: The Seven Principles to Conquer Obstacles, Make Effective Decisions, and Create a Life on Your Own Terms. In this lively discussion, Tony emphasizes the first three principles from his book: 1) Clear your mind by reducing stimuli; 2) Associate selectively; and 3) Move (or, as Tony says, “Use your body in more beautiful ways.”) He discusses how these foundational principles can be introduced to children of any age, setting the stage for both parent and child to increase their agency by moving on through all seven principles. Marti & Erin were inspired by Tony’s framework and practical tips and think you will be too.

 

WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH THE WISE ADVICE OF DR. RAO?

What does the word "agency" mean to you? What would it look like if you increased your agency in the way you live your own life? Or helped your children do the same? Think of the first three principles Tony Rao discussed (clear your mind, affiliate selectively and move). What could you do this week to bring those principles to life for you and your children?

 

CHECK OUT THESE LINKS TO LEARN MORE ABOUT TOPICS RELATED TO AGENCY:

❉ ENGAGING CHILDREN AS GOOD CITIZENS: HELPING CHILDREN ENVISION THE WORLD THEY WANT AND TAKE ACTION TO REALIZE THAT VISION. Dr. Anne Klaeysen, head of the New York Society for Ethical Culture, offers clear and helpful ways to help our children discover their own values, learn what it means to be kind and fair on a large scale and recognize what they can contribute toward building a humane, ethical society, as children and throughout their lives.

 

❉ THE CHEMISTRY OF CALM AND JOY: A CONVERSATION WITH INTEGRATIVE PSYCHIATRIST HENRY EMMONS. Listen as Dr. Emmons discusses the chemistry of emotions and simple, accessible strategies to manage energy, quiet our minds, build resilience and maximize our experience of calm, joy and well-being.

 

❉ HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILDREN REFLECT ON EMOTIONS AND BEHAVIORAL CHOICES. Check out this brief clip from the 2017 Night Out For ME presentation.