Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Unpacking Learned Loneliness – and How We Can Impact Change


Listen Later

When the term “learned loneliness” came across my desk, it made my ears perk up. 

The idea of learned loneliness – that loneliness is now our new normal – resonates with me; I often find myself wanting to see people, but instead, I’m scrolling or turning on the TV. I used to think this was laziness, but now I think I’ve gotten comfortable being uncomfortable.

Here are some stats to ponder: 35 percent of people feel socializing is less important than they found it to be before the pandemic. Over the last decade, face-to-face socializing hours with close friends has been cut in half. 

Never before have we spent so much time alone, particularly with so many people working from home. Today, we talk about some things that could be causing the uptick in loneliness, and I propose some solutions, including things I’m personally committing to. 


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • The different dimensions of loneliness, including intimate loneliness, relational loneliness, and collective loneliness
  • Factors that have led to an increase in loneliness, including lack of community organizations, increase of working from home, lack of social trust, etc.
  • Social media and TV’s roles in loneliness – and why I think one is more harmful than the other
  • Things we can do to combat learned loneliness, such as appreciating the beauty in simple relationships 
  • Why we shouldn’t wait for the perfect opportunity or situation to put ourselves out there


Resources & Links:

For more on loneliness, check out Episode 27, and learn about how we might better lean into front yards instead of back yards in Episode 39 and Episode 67.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

55 ratings


More shows like Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

View all
The One You Feed by Eric Zimmer

The One You Feed

2,518 Listeners

Happier with Gretchen Rubin by Gretchen Rubin / The Onward Project

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

12,907 Listeners

10% Happier with Dan Harris by 10% Happier

10% Happier with Dan Harris

12,625 Listeners

Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast by Clutterbug

Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast

2,006 Listeners

The Lazy Genius Podcast by Kendra, The Lazy Genius

The Lazy Genius Podcast

6,537 Listeners

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel by Esther Perel Global Media

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

14,933 Listeners

Oprah's Super Soul by Oprah

Oprah's Super Soul

31,905 Listeners

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee by Dr Rangan Chatterjee: GP & Author

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

3,648 Listeners

On Purpose with Jay Shetty by iHeartPodcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

26,891 Listeners

Let's Get Dressed by Liv Perez

Let's Get Dressed

279 Listeners

Friend Forward by Danielle Bayard Jackson -- Female Friendship Expert

Friend Forward

267 Listeners

IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson by Higher Ground

IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson

12,928 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Glennon Doyle and Audacy

We Can Do Hard Things

41,407 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

19,518 Listeners

Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari by Dear Media

Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari

3,399 Listeners