Untethering Shame

In this episode, Kyira Wackett and guest Amy Holder discuss the pressure to conform to societal expectations and the pursuit of external validation. They explore the idea that checking off boxes and achieving milestones does not necessarily lead to fulfillment and happiness. They share their personal experiences and observations from working with clients who have also felt the disconnect between societal expectations and their own desires. The conversation highlights the need for self-discovery and the courage to question and redefine one's identity and purpose. In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Amy Holder discuss the importance of exploring one's identity and purpose beyond societal roles and expectations. They emphasize the need to differentiate between purpose and action, and challenge the notion that certain roles define a person's worth. They also discuss the societal pressure to conform to traditional roles, such as being a parent, and the judgment and shame that can arise when individuals choose a different path. The conversation highlights the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and embracing the evolving nature of life.

Takeaways

More About Amy:

Amy Holder is a licensed professional counselor based in Madison, WI, with over 12 years of experience in the mental health field. She runs her own private practice and works as a local private practice contractor. Amy specializes in women-focused therapy, brain-gut health, life transitions, and millennial therapy.

Her growing interest lies in storytelling and how the narratives we believe and tell ourselves shape our perceptions, relationships, and overall well-being. Deeply curious about people, Amy is passionate about engaging in meaningful conversations. She appreciates the long-form nature of podcasts, which have become an integral part of her personal growth journey.

In her mid-30s, Amy finds herself at an intriguing crossroads of self-knowledge and acceptance, yet also grappling with new, perplexing life questions. She describes this era as, "I've never been worse, but I've never been better." Despite outward success, she experiences a unique kind of shame and guilt about her lingering dissatisfaction, making this a particularly challenging period of self-discovery and growth.

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Keywords

societal expectations, external validation, conformity, fulfillment, happiness, self-discovery, identity, purpose, societal roles, differentiation, worth, traditional roles, judgment, shame, curiosity, self-reflection

This week's solo episode discusses the power and importance of letting go of relationships that no longer serve you.

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Summary

In this episode, host Kyira Wackett and guest Emily Hardy delve into the 'good child' concept and its unrealistic expectations of mothers. They discuss how societal narratives lead mothers to strive for perfection, impacting their self-worth and parenting. The conversation highlights the challenges of meeting societal standards, external validation's role, and self-compassion's importance. They advocate for shifting from shame-driven to values-driven parenting and the power of modeling imperfection. Emily shares insights on mom guilt, reframing thoughts, and unlearning societal conditioning, emphasizing open conversations and seeking support for positive change in future generations.

Takeaways

More About Emily:

Emily Hardy is a motherhood support and mindset coach, host of the Worthy Mother Podcast, and believer in the power of “real talk” to change the game for moms. Emily is passionate about challenging the societal narratives around motherhood and success that contribute to feelings of mom guilt and shame for so many women - with self-compassion at the forefront! She’s a mom to 2 little boys and lives on the central coast of California.

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Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to the 'Good Child' Concept and Unrealistic Expectations

06:23 - The Impact of Motherhood and Societal Conditioning

10:02 - The Burden of Responsibility and Unrealistic Expectations

16:07 - The Subtle Expectations and External Validation in Parenting

19:46 - The Importance of Context and Realistic Expectations

23:10 - Challenging Societal Expectations and Cultivating Self-Compassion

29:44 - Shifting from Shame-Driven Pressures

33:45 - Embracing Imperfection and Authenticity

38:40 - Navigating Societal Expectations

42:29 - Unlearning and Rewiring

46:55 - Creating Change for Future Generations

In this episode, host Kyira Wackett and guest Cait Pearson discuss the profound impact of loss and the expectations and pressures society imposes on the grieving process. They explore the loneliness and fear that often accompany grief, as well as the need for a safe space to process emotions. They also touch on the challenges of holding space for others while dealing with their own grief, and the importance of setting boundaries and honoring one's own needs. The conversation highlights needing a more authentic and individualized approach to grief and loss. In this conversation, Cait and Kyira discuss the challenges and expectations surrounding grief and loss. They explore the pressure to grieve in a certain way and the fear of judgment from others. They also touch on the myths and misconceptions about grief and the importance of creating space for individual grieving processes. Cait emphasizes the need to have open and honest conversations about loss and to allow ourselves to feel and express our emotions. They conclude by encouraging listeners to embrace their own journey with grief and to find the courage to be true to themselves.

Takeaways

More About Cait:

"I'm Cait Pearson, a fear mindset coach, writer, podcast host, and photographer. I believe when we get so comfortable with our fear it can actually become our courage, so in all my work I illuminate the perspective less thought about. Fear will always hand over the first story to distract us from the truth that's actually holding us hostage underneath in the subconscious."

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Chapters

00:00 - Introduction to Loss and Grief

13:17 - Confronting Expectations and Shame

31:59 - Navigating Expectations and Pressure

43:28 - Creating Space for Open Conversations

53:09 - Embracing Your Own Journey

Keywords

loss, grief, expectations, pressures, loneliness, fear, holding space, boundaries, authentic, judgment, misconceptions, emotions, courage

In this week's solo episode, I want to discuss your expectations. Expectations are not a bad thing. Expectations out of context or without flexibility are the problem and are ultimately fueled by and refueling your shame. So what can we do about it?

In this episode, Kyira Wackett and Lara Days discuss intuitive eating and body image. They explore the challenges of shame surrounding food and the journey towards intuitive eating. They also delve into the pitfalls of diet culture and the importance of challenging fat phobia. The conversation highlights the physiological and psychological reasons why we struggle with intuitive eating and offers insights into shifting internal beliefs about body size. The episode emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance, self-compassion, and body liberation. In this conversation, Lara and Kyira discuss body trust and intuitive eating. They explore the factors that impact body size and challenge societal expectations. They emphasize the importance of honoring body cues and starting with small actions to build body trust. They also discuss the challenges of transitioning from athletics and the need for self-compassion during the process. The conversation concludes with a reminder to embrace discomfort and take one step at a time toward a healthier relationship with the body.

Takeaways

Get to Know Lara:

Lara Days is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, yoga instructor, Master Health Coach, and sports nutritionist who aims to dismantle the diet industry and empower people to live their happiest, healthiest, most confident lives! Lara focuses on helping you improve your mindset, unlearn your past conditioning, and trust your body so that you can find food freedom, ditch diet culture, and step into your power! Your work with her won't just change your relationship with your body — it will change how you show up in every aspect of your life.

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Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to the Topic and Guest

06:18 Understanding Intuitive Eating

10:05 Why We Struggle with Intuitive Eating

23:08 Shifting Internal Beliefs about Body Size

25:48 The Cost of Pursuing Weight Loss

27:56 Making Different Choices

28:23 Factors Impacting Body Size

29:05 Challenging Body Size Expectations

30:22 Intention Behind Health Goals

31:19 Judgment and Self-Worth

32:40 Building Body Trust

33:09 Putting Marbles in the Jar

34:05 Starting with Small Actions

35:10 Honoring Body Cues

36:21 Transitions and Trusting the Body

41:33 Body Changes and Acceptance

44:33 Trusting the Body and Processing Pain

46:29 Taking Small Steps and Embracing Discomfort

50:09 Reframing Past Actions

51:47 Connecting with Lara

The conversation covers relationships, career flexibility, and personal growth. It examines relationship evolution, communication, and the impact of children. Career flexibility, the courage to explore new paths, and the significance of choosing one's own adventure are discussed, along with upbringing's influence on career choices and the value of personal growth. The conversation addresses balancing career aspirations with personal responsibilities, societal expectations, and the desire to be present in both work and family life. It also explores self-preservation, intentional time away from loved ones, authenticity, external approval, and balancing striving with being. Topics include charging for services, struggles with money and career choices, creativity and self-expression, radical acceptance, asking for help, reverse brainstorming, and making 1% changes for improvement.

Takeaways

More about Andrea:

ICF Certified Coach who helps parents figure out their work life rhythms, creating more quality time with their families while continuing to grow personally and professionally. She hosts the All Figured Out podcast, coaches clients 1:1, and hosts events online and in Vancouver, Canada.

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Chapters

how to reconcile that feeling that other's don't work as hard as you and the pressure you carry as a result.

Summary

In this episode, the host and guest discuss moving on from toxic relationships and the healing process. They address societal pressure to stay in unhealthy relationships and the importance of emotional processing and growth. The conversation highlights seeking help and support, the impact of conditional love, and the role of shame in hindering healing. Lucy Price delves into the emotional and cognitive aspects of navigating breakups or divorce, stressing the need to process emotions without attaching meaning. She discusses how breakups affect self-worth and future relationships, emphasizing emotional intelligence, recognizing and naming emotions, and integrating complex feelings toward ex-partners. Lucy also highlights the significance of compassion, shifting perspectives, taking ownership of thoughts and choices, and seeking support from trusted individuals or professionals.

Takeaways

Get to know Lucy:

“I’m a relationship coach who guides people to move on from their exes, release relationship anxiety, and create incredible relationships- with themselves and others.”

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In this episode, Alicia Jacobson and Kyira Wackett discuss the relentless impact of shame and the challenges of navigating daily life while contending with shame and trauma. They explore the compounding effect of shame and the importance of finding respite in music. They also delve into the universality of shame and the process of unpacking and recognizing personal shame. The conversation highlights the need to reevaluate success and worthiness and emphasizes the continuous journey of healing and shame resilience. The conversation explores the process of starting and not being afraid, practicing gratitude and balancing the good and the bad, being grateful for the opportunities in relationships, control and people-pleasing as avoidance, inconveniences and the need for control, the fragility of personal systems and structures, losing adaptability as we get older, fear and pressure in maintaining order, learning to be okay with inconveniences, self-management and being present in difficult moments, not needing to have all the answers, and cultivating emotional and body intelligence.

Takeaways

More about Alecia:

Alecia Jacobson’s passion is helping women uncover their hidden strength and power to be the Badasses they truly are. A wife, mom, stepmom, motivational speaker, fitness trainer and women's mind and body coach, Alecia understands the many roles and missions that drive her clients. She deeply loves 90’s rap music, which pairs nicely with her six kids and mom car! When her bass is not bumping, you’ll find her listening to books or podcasts, gathering information and tools to serve her clients better. Serving women lights her fire almost as much as Tupac does! 

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