Untethering Shame

Raise your hand if as a kid it was worse to be told you disappointed your parents than to have them be mad at you?

Interesting how that has worked out huh? We have all been conditioned — by our parents, teachers, friends — to do whatever we can, at all costs to avoid both letting others down and the feeling we get if we let them down. We run, hide, become YES people and avoid conflict, asserting ourselves and setting boundaries to protect against others’ disappointment. It's time we shift our relationship with disappointment.

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Check out the first monthly recap episode reflecting on the episodes posted this month and key takeaways. Let us know in the comments what are yours!

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Another powerful episode with an incredible guest, Emily Cleghorn. Today’s episode was all about childhood trauma and what it looks like to heal from it once we too, enter the role of parenthood. Childhood trauma doesn't just disappear as we age; it often re-emerges, especially when we find ourselves in the role of a parent. The stressors of parenting can trigger old wounds, bringing up unresolved feelings and behaviors we thought were long behind us. This not only affects us but can also impact our children, perpetuating a cycle that many of us are determined to break. Addressing this trauma is crucial, not only for our own healing but to ensure we provide a nurturing environment for our children.

More about Emily:

Emily Cleghorn is an award-winning Trauma Recovery Coach, author, podcaster and inspirational speaker on a mission to support trauma-surviving mamas to navigate triggers and tantrums as they heal their childhood trauma in the midst of parenting. Passionate about creating positive ripples for generations to come, Emily shares her powerful story of overcoming the veil her own trauma had placed over her life to inspire audiences and readers that they too can achieve peace and healing.

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In this episode, host Kyira Wackett and guest Lisa Goldberg discuss the connection between shame, emotional eating, and our bodies. They explore the roots of shame, the impact of emotional eating, and practical strategies to break free from its grip. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding emotional eating as a coping mechanism that often stems from childhood experiences and learned behaviors. They also address the dieter's mindset and the false beliefs around weight loss that contribute to the shame cycle. Ultimately, they emphasize the need to go deeper and uncover the root causes of emotional eating to create lasting change. In this conversation, Lisa Goldberg and Kyira Wackett discuss the challenges of emotional eating and the importance of mindset change in creating lasting weight loss. They explore the patterns and triggers that lead to emotional eating, as well as the self-judgment and lack of self-trust that often accompany it. They emphasize the need to listen to the thoughts and beliefs that drive our actions and to replace irrational thoughts with rational ones. They also highlight the importance of reconnecting with our bodies, prioritizing self-care, and designing a fulfilling life. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to embrace imperfection and focus on sustainable change rather than quick fixes.

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More About Lisa:

Lisa Goldberg is a nutritionist, mindset and weight loss expert with a master’s degree in Clinical Nutrition from New York University. Lisa has been coaching high achieving women to lasting weight loss for over 20 years. Her work focuses on teaching her clients how to break their self-sabotaging eating patterns and change their relationship with food by making cognitive habit and behavioral changes. Through this work they lose their unwanted weight and know how to keep it off for good.

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Chapters:

It's time we let go of these untruths we have internalized and trust that who we are is enough.

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In this episode, Kyira Wackett and Janice Holland explore the theme of hiding and the pressure to perform in society. They discuss the origins of this pressure and how it perpetuates shame and inauthenticity. They also delve into the hidden realities we often keep to ourselves and the toll it takes on our well-being. The conversation highlights the importance of breaking free from oppressive expectations and embracing authenticity and self-acceptance. The episode emphasizes the need to untangle ourselves from shame and live our truth. In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Janice Holland discuss the challenges of breaking free from performing and hiding to live authentically. They explore the fear of being seen and the discomfort of vulnerability. They emphasize the importance of radical acceptance and the willingness to sit with discomfort in order to discover one's true self. They also discuss the need for receptivity and the ability to receive support and help from others. Janice Holland offers a 90-day journey for women ready to come into their own and live authentically.

Takeaways

More About Janice:

Janice is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) Supervisor and a Certified Trauma Model Therapist. She teaches and trains therapists and coaches on how to effectively work with complex trauma and runs a trauma recovery membership called The Courageous Woman.

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Chapters

In this episode, host Kyira Wackett and guest Stacey Urig explore the intricate world of shame and trauma. They discuss the different types of trauma, how it manifests, and the profound impact it has on individuals and society. Stacey shares her journey with trauma and how she found healing through therapy and hypnosis. They emphasize the importance of changing the narrative around trauma and reframing the interpretation of past experiences. The conversation offers hope and guidance for individuals seeking healing and liberation from trauma. In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Stacey Uhrig discuss the work of healing and the importance of recognizing and loving all parts of ourselves. They explore the concept of parts work and how mapping out internal parts can lead to greater self-awareness and agency. They also emphasize the need for trauma-informed therapists and the importance of recognizing collective trauma. The main takeaway from the conversation is that no one is broken but rather unhealed, and everyone can heal with the right support.

Takeaways

More About Stacey:

Stacey Uhrig is an experienced Coach specializing in Trauma Recovery, holding certifications in Hypnotherapy and Rapid Transformational Therapy. With over 50 years of emotional strength, resilience, and post-traumatic wisdom, she has earned the moniker "The Mindset Flipper." Stacey's expertise lies in empowering individuals to navigate life's challenges through a different lens, encouraging a mindset shift that leads to the discovery of greater purpose and, most importantly, peace. Stacey utilizes her extensive background to guide individuals toward personal empowerment and a renewed perspective on life.

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Trauma and Healing

05:48 Stacey's Personal Journey with Trauma

17:18 The Shift in Mental Health and Trauma Understanding

23:40 Understanding Parts Work and Trauma

30:37 Defining Trauma as Emotional Wounds

36:05 The Importance of Naming and Validating Trauma

38:46 Changing the Narrative of Trauma

39:40 The Work of Healing

42:19 Learning to Love All Parts of Ourselves

43:45 Parts Work and Self-Led Healing

45:21 Taking Responsibility for Healing

47:10 Finding the Right Therapist

51:26 Recognizing Collective Trauma

52:46 Regaining Power and Agency

Loving without condition or expectation is one of the hardest aspects of healthy relationships. Sure, we know the big red flags of conditional love. That's not what we are talking about. We are talking about the little things. The "you would be so much happier if's" and the "goodness, why can't they just's..." Learning to accept people fully and then decide how you can healthily show up in that can free you up for deeper connections and even self-love and acceptance.

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In this conversation, Kyira Wackett interviews Sandra Huitt, who grew up in a cult. They discuss the challenges of leaving a cult and the process of healing and finding oneself after leaving. Sandra shares her experience of feeling othered and struggling to fit in after leaving the cult. She also talks about the difficulties of opening up to her parents about her struggles and the anger she developed towards them later on. Sandra found solace and a sense of belonging in underground raves and electronic music events. Sandra Huitt shares her experience growing up in a cult and her challenges when leaving. She discusses the struggle of finding her identity and belonging outside of the cult, as well as the difficulty of trusting herself and others. Sandra reflects on the journey of self-love and healing, and the importance of honoring her past while embracing her growth. She expresses her desire to demystify the cult experience and help others recognize the signs to avoid getting involved. The conversation highlights the complexities of navigating personal relationships and finding self-worth after leaving a cult.

Takeaways

More about Sandra:

My name is Sandra Huitt and I'm a cult survivor, cycle breaker, and activist. I studied World Religion and History to check the accuracy of what I was taught as a child and I remain a passionate student in those fields as there's always more to learn. A decade of social work and pediatric counseling aligns with my belief that a rising tide lifts all boats. Vulnerability is one of my superpowers and I use it often to discuss my journey through healing to encourage others to find their path.  Traveling the world to absorb the beauty of other cultures lights me on fire and singing my heart out makes my soul happy.

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Keywords

cult, leaving, healing, othering, fitting in, struggle, parents, anger, belonging, identity, trust, self-love, healing, demystify, self-worth

Join me as I reflect and celebrate all this first year of the podcast has brought to the table and talk more about year 2!

What was your biggest AHA moment? What did you learn about yourself this year? What episodes do you want to see in Year 2? Tell me all of the things in the comments below!

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