Untethering Shame

WE ARE CONSTANTLY FORCING OURSELVES TO "GET OVER IT."

We fear conflict and challenging conversations to the point we bury our feelings inside until we either explode or become so detached and resentful we no longer engage meaningfully in our relationships.

Why do we do it? The short answer, it's easier...in the moment, anyway. But what if we stopped? What would it be like to change the way we show up to our lives and especially in our relationships with others?

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Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame." Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. Be sure to visit our website or YouTube channel for more engaging content.

In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Cassandra Johnson discuss the importance of acknowledging and healing the inner child as a part of trauma recovery. They explore the concept of using fantasy and imagination as a tool for healing, and how creating a physical space that reflects childhood interests and comforts can provide a sense of safety and control. They emphasize the need for radical acceptance and validation of past experiences, and the importance of reparenting oneself in order to heal and break patterns. They also address the shame and stigma that can be associated with trauma and the fear of being seen as weak or different. In this conversation, Kyira and Cassandra discuss the importance of creating spaces that reflect our inner child and promote healing. They explore the shame and vulnerability that can arise when sharing these spaces with others, and the fear of judgment. Cassandra emphasizes the need to find the right people to trust and the importance of setting boundaries. They also discuss the power of tapping into our childlike creativity and imagination, and how it can bring joy and healing. Cassandra offers practical advice on how to start this healing journey, including connecting with our inner child and creating a safe space in our homes.

Takeaways

Meet Cassandra:

There was once a little girl who would escape to a fantasy land to cope with her abuse. This little girl became an adult and began to heal her inner child. During this healing journey, it became evident how common it is for children of trauma to use escapism as a form of healing. From this realization, Cassandra Flora Designs was born.

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Chapters

Keywords

inner child, trauma recovery, fantasy, imagination, healing, radical acceptance, validation, reparenting, shame, stigma, healing, vulnerability, creating spaces, trust, boundaries, childlike creativity

In this episode, Jessica Parente joins us to discuss the topic of codependency and its connection to shame. Codependency is a psychological condition that intertwines a person's self-worth and identity with the needs and behaviors of others. The conversation explores the roots of codependency, its effects on our lives, and how breaking free from these patterns can help us reclaim our sense of self and reduce the burden of shame. The guests share personal experiences and insights, highlighting the importance of understanding and healing codependency. In this conversation, Kyira and Jess discuss the challenges of setting boundaries and the role of shame in maintaining them. They also explore the impact of codependency and narcissism in relationships, particularly with parents. Jess shares her personal journey of healing from codependency and offers resources for those who want to start their own healing journey. The conversation emphasizes the importance of reconnecting with the body, trusting gut feelings, and allowing oneself to feel without apology. It concludes with the reminder that healing is a personal journey and that it's okay to be wherever you are.

Takeaways

Keywords

codependency, shame, psychological condition, self-worth, identity, roots, effects, breaking free, healing, boundaries, codependency, narcissism, healing journey, bodywork

More About Jessica:

Jessica Parente is an ANCC-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, an ICF Accredited Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach, a Level IV Brainspotting Provider & a Best-Selling Author. Her chapter, “Lather, Rinse, Repeat… Until You Don’t” outlines her struggles with Codependency & is featured in Narcissistic Abuse Specialist Caroline Strawson’s most recent book, “The Unseen Wounds of Women.” As the founder of It Ends With You LLC, she is passionate about helping others identify their own subconscious and Codependent patterns so that they can heal, shift and step into a life that is authentic, intentional and true to themselves. As a Recovered Codependent & a Survivor of Grief, Trauma, Generational Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse, Jess pulls from her own journey to normalize client experiences and to instill hope these challenges are NOT a life sentence. 

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Chapters

00:00 — Understanding Codependency

17:59 — Codependency and Narcissism

25:59 — Navigating Boundaries and Shame

37:03 — The Deconstruction of Codependency

46:31 — Meeting Yourself Where You Are

In this episode, I am sharing one of the most crucial pieces of advice I can ever give you: You are NOT that Important. Let's talk about what makes this so empowering!

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Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame." Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. Be sure to visit our website or YouTube channel for more engaging content.

In this episode, Kyira Wackett and Jennifer Walter discuss body image and fatness. They explore society's obsession with narrow beauty standards and the shame and self-criticism that can result. They emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for open dialogue and living authentically rather than performing for approval. The influence of media and cultural standards on body image is also examined. The conversation highlights the challenges of facilitating discussions on body image and the need to address perceptions and biases in these conversations. This conversation explores the complexities of body image, health, and medical discrimination. It highlights the nuances of body perception and the fusion of body size with health and body image. The conversation also delves into the experiences of medical gaslighting and the feeling of powerlessness in medical settings. Additionally, it discusses the societal expectation to change our bodies and the potential impact of weight loss drugs.

Takeaways

More About Jennifer:

Jennifer Walter is a sociologist, brand strategist, designer and host of the Scenic Route podcast. She blends curiosity, transformation and mindset work with sociological insights and creative direction to build seen and felt brands. Based in Switzerland, she communicates loud and fast in English and German. She’s all out of fucks but serving opinions daily.

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In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Erika Malm discuss the barriers to embracing eating disorders and why they are not talked about enough. They explore the misconceptions and myths surrounding eating disorders and the need for validation and empathy. They also discuss the role of control and the underlying pain that drives disordered eating behaviors. The conversation highlights the importance of addressing the emotional needs underlying eating disorders and the need for a compassionate and understanding approach. In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Erika Malm discuss the deep emotional and psychological aspects of eating disorders. They explore the importance of understanding the underlying pain and trauma that often drive disordered eating behaviors. They emphasize the need for empathy, validation, and emotional processing in the healing process. They also highlight the role of the therapeutic relationship and the importance of creating a strong healing container. The conversation encourages listeners to hold onto hope and to be patient with themselves as they navigate their own healing journeys.

Takeaways

More About Erika:

In my work with couples, individuals & families, my goal is to help you to connect or reconnect with your sense of meaning to carve out a life that is fulfilling. Through our work together, you can develop successful strategies to address daily challenges and find avenues to thrive instead of merely survive in life. I have spent 20 years focusing on the treatment of trauma. I work from a foundation of Attachment Theory — with the premise that people thrive emotionally and physically when in healthy, connected relationships. The first of which is with yourself. I am also deeply informed by Interpersonal Neurobiology and Internal Family Systems (IFS).

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Keywords

eating disorders, misconceptions, myths, empathy, control, pain, emotional needs, compassionate approach, emotional processing, empathy, validation, healing, therapeutic relationship, hope

Chapters

Our brain has become hard-wired to chase external validation and approval. It feels like what we do doesn't count unless someone else can attest to it. And it's this anchoring of our worth outside of ourselves that is keeping us stuck in shame. So let's talk about exactly how we got here and what we can do about it.

Stay Connected:

Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame." Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. Be sure to visit our website or YouTube channel for more engaging content.

In this episode, Dr. Rose Aslan and I discuss shame, fear, and Islamophobia. We explore how these forces perpetuate systems of oppression and uphold patriarchal structures of power. We also discuss the importance of recognizing the humanity of individuals and the need to untether ourselves from shame. Dr. Aslan shares her personal journey of activism and using her voice to bring awareness to social justice issues alongside her experiences as a Muslim woman in academia and the challenges she faced in navigating different worlds. She highlights the power of social media in giving voice to marginalized communities and the privilege that often accompanies academic credentials. Dr. Aslan shares her journey of leaving academia and focusing on supporting women in creating change in their lives. She emphasizes the importance of self-care and finding balance in order to make a meaningful impact. The conversation also touches on the need for authentic activism and the role of marketing in perpetuating stereotypes and Islamophobia.

Takeaways

More About Rose:

Dr. Rose Aslan is a transformational life coach, writer, educator, academic, community organizer, and breathwork facilitator. A single mom based in Istanbul, she quit her position in 2022 as a tenured associate professor of global Islam and religion. She now supports women get unstuck in their lives, find a healthy work-life balance, learn tools for embodiment, and bring more joy into their lives along with healthy boundaries and self-awareness.

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Keywords: shame, fear, Islamophobia, oppression, power, humanity, activism, social justice, academia, Muslim women, social media, privilege, self-care, activism, marketing, stereotypes, Islamophobia

Chapters

00:00 - Introduction and Welcome

01:01 - Dr. Rose Aslan's Journey and Dedication to Empowerment

06:05 - Navigating the Challenges of Life

08:37 - The Ebb and Flow of Life

33:21 - The Power of Social Media and Amplifying Marginalized Voices

34:12 - Navigating Different Worlds: Challenges in Academia

36:05 - Finding Balance and Practicing Self-Care in Activism

38:35 - Authentic Activism: Going Beyond Performative Actions

42:10 - The Role of Marketing in Perpetuating Stereotypes and Islamophobia

53:21 - Supporting Women in Creating Change: A Ripple Effect

Join Elizabeth and me as we explore the notion of intergenerational trauma and how it can become the foundation for chronic pain and addiction. Elizabeth shares insights from her recovery, breaks down some of the key concepts of this work, and even gifts us with a clearing we can all engage with in the space.

Trigger Warning: While all of our episodes are heavy and showcase some very raw and real stories and pain, Elizabeth does share some details about a traumatic incident with her mom that may be upsetting to some.

More About Elizabeth:

Elizabeth Kipp is a Stress Management and Historical Trauma Specialist who uses Trauma-Trained and Yoga-Informed Addiction Recovery Coaching, Ancestral Clearing®, Compassionate Inquiry, and Yoga to help people with their healing. Elizabeth healed from over 40 years of chronic pain, including anxiety, panic attacks, and addiction. She now guides others to unleash their healing power, find freedom from suffering, and live a thriving life.

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We have talked about not wanting kids, but there is this weird in-between for those of us who have kids and don't immediately want one. I am a one-kid mom, and that feels great to me. Why am I categorized as less than because I am not interested in having more?

Stay Connected:

Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame." Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. Be sure to visit our website or YouTube channel for more engaging content.