Untethering Shame

Join me this week as we explore the crucial difference between being alone and lonely and why separating out these two experiences is vital to our shame resilience journey.

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In this episode of Untethering Shame, host Kyira Wackett and guest Carl King delve into the complex relationship between shame and religion. They explore how religious expectations can create a performance-based identity, leading to feelings of shame and disconnection from one's true self. Carl shares his personal journey of navigating these challenges, highlighting the impact of childhood experiences and the struggle for authenticity in a rigid religious environment. The conversation emphasizes the importance of questioning authority and seeking personal truth in the face of societal and religious pressures. In this conversation, Carl King shares his journey from being deeply embedded in authoritarian religious structures to finding his own path of introspection and freedom. He discusses the collapse of these structures, the impact of self-sabotage, and the courage it takes to break free from control. The dialogue explores themes of personal growth, the complexities of faith, and the importance of navigating the unknown with bravery.

Takeaways

More about Carl:

Carl King is a Change Consultant, empowering organizations and individuals with methods for lasting change. Drawing from his rich tapestry of experiences, Carl brings a unique blend of empathy and insight to his coaching practice. His own journey taught him the power of embracing change, and he's dedicated his life to helping others navigate their own transformations skillfully.

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In this engaging conversation, Kyira Wackett and Aly Pain explore the complexities of parenting, emotional healing, and the societal pressures surrounding perfectionism. They discuss the importance of acknowledging and processing emotions, the impact of generational trauma, and the need for unconditional love in parenting. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of embracing imperfection and the messiness of life, ultimately advocating for a more compassionate and understanding approach to raising children. In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Aly Pain explore the complexities of parenting, particularly the importance of allowing children to experience failure as a means of growth. They discuss the challenges of gentle parenting, the societal pressures that influence parenting styles, and the need for compassion and connection in raising resilient children. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of understanding one's own wounds and how they affect parenting, advocating for a shift from compliance-based parenting to a more compassionate approach that fosters emotional intelligence and resilience in children.

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More about Aly:

Growing up, Aly was the smart, fun girl on the outside and a frantic, anxious mess on the inside, going from award winning student and athlete to detention and failing out.

She spent years healing the pain of dysfunctional family relationships, including an eating disorder, suicide attempt, and ADHD diagnosis to break the cycle raising her own sons.

Since becoming a Certified Life Coach and Certified Relationship Systems Coach in 2006, Aly has empowered parents and teachers around the world to rebuild mutual respect, trust, and meaningful connection with their teens without giving in, daily nagging, or more consequences. She's been featured in the New York Post, ABC Nightly News and the Rachael Ray Show.

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In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Abby Payne explore the themes of self-worth, people pleasing, and the journey towards self-acceptance. They discuss the importance of recognizing one's own needs and emotions, the impact of societal expectations, and the roots of people pleasing behavior often stemming from childhood experiences. The dialogue emphasizes the need for balance in life, the distinction between kindness and people pleasing, and the significance of unconditional love in fostering a healthy sense of self. In this conversation, Abby Payne, RN, discusses the profound effects of chronic stress on the body and the importance of reconnecting with oneself to build emotional safety and self-trust. She emphasizes the need for nervous system regulation techniques and the journey of self-acceptance, highlighting that vulnerability is a key aspect of personal growth. The dialogue explores how to navigate the pressures of people-pleasing and the significance of self-compassion in overcoming these challenges.

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More about Abby:

“I am a former ICU nurse turned Self-Care Coach specializing in People-Pleasing. I am a recovering people-pleaser who did a deep dive into the roots of people pleasing as I hit extreme burnout during COVID from my lack of ability to ask for help or speak my truth. What I learned re-routed my career to become a Board Certified Nurse Coach and inspired me to help others break free from people pleasing and find authenticity. I do 1:1 coaching and have an 8-week group program called Break the People Pleasing Pattern!”

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In this episode of the Untethering Shame podcast, Kyira and Sabrina Trobek delve into the intricate relationship between core beliefs, shame, and anxiety. They explore how core beliefs shape our self-perception and influence our behaviors, often leading to feelings of inadequacy. Sabrina explains the development of these beliefs, emphasizing the impact of childhood experiences and cultural norms. The conversation highlights the significance of setting boundaries, taking responsibility for our emotions, and navigating relationships that reinforce our core beliefs. Sabrina shares her four pillars of change and emphasizes the need for self-compassion and gradual growth in the journey towards emotional resilience.

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More about Sabrina:

I am a registered counsellor and is the author of Not Good Enough: Understanding your Core Belief and Anxiety. I am also a clinical supervisor and public speaker with a masters in counseling psychology. Prior to becoming a counsellor, I was a teacher, vice principal and school counselor for over 20 years. I have extensive training in resolving past trauma and the impact trauma has on a person including anxiety and core belief.

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In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and David Lea explore the complexities of marital conflict, emphasizing that the root of many issues lies not in the partner but in unprocessed childhood trauma. They discuss the concept of trauma bonds, the cycle of need and resentment, and the importance of parts work in healing. The dialogue highlights the necessity of personal responsibility and the process of rupture and repair in relationships, ultimately advocating for a deeper understanding of oneself and one's partner. In this conversation, David Lea and Kyira Wackett explore the concept of 'parts work' in relationships, emphasizing the importance of understanding and regulating our emotional parts during conflicts. They discuss how individual healing can enhance relational dynamics, the significance of language in communication, and the necessity of acknowledging and addressing trauma responses. The dialogue also highlights the role of both partners in initiating repair after conflicts and the ongoing journey of healing that requires patience and self-awareness.

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More about David:

David Lea is the founder and CEO of Daring Deeply Coaching. He works with high-impact men and women and couples who seek answers to the deep complexities in their personal relationships. Through his trauma-informed coaching lens, David helps his clients decipher and heal the unprocessed masculine & feminine energetic wounding that’s preventing them from realizing the relationship of their dreams.

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In this episode of Untethering Shame, host Kyira Wackett engages in a heartfelt conversation with Lisa Boehm, a certified grief educator and author, about the profound and isolating experience of child loss. Lisa shares her personal journey of navigating grief after the sudden death of her daughter, Katie, and discusses the societal misconceptions surrounding grief. The conversation explores the complexities of living with grief, the importance of community support, and the possibility of finding joy amidst sorrow. Lisa emphasizes that grief is not a linear process and that it is possible to honor a loved one while also embracing moments of happiness. Through their dialogue, they aim to destigmatize conversations about grief and encourage others to seek support and share their experiences.

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More about Lisa:

Lisa K. Boehm’s life changed forever when her 17 year old daughter died suddenly in a car accident. She quickly discovered that our society struggles with death, loss, and grieving and has made it her mission to change that. In her book Journey to HEALING: A Mother’s Guide to Navigating Child Loss, she shares her experience with grief and her way back to a meaningful life.Now she focuses on gratitude and living intentionally as a way of honouring her daughter’s memory. Lisa is an author, speaker, and certified grief educator who shares the power of hope and human connection in her presentations, workshops, and book.

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In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Tracy Piper explore themes of authenticity, mental health, and the power of art as a means of self-expression and healing. Tracy shares her journey from feeling unseen and unworthy to embracing her identity as an artist and community builder. They discuss the importance of vulnerability, the impact of personal struggles on creativity, and the significance of finding support and connection in a world that often feels isolating. The conversation emphasizes the beauty of imperfection and the necessity of self-love and acceptance.

Takeaways

More about Tracy:

THE TRACY PIPER (b. Oakland, CA, 1987) is a contemporary painter, muralist, author and art activist. Best known for her vibrant portraits and figurative acrylic paintings, Piper’s illustrative work tackles social constructs in an abstract-realist style. She has shown at SCOPE and SELECT in Miami, FL; stARTup Art Fair in San Francisco and Los Angeles, CA; SCOPE New York, NY; and exhibits internationally. In 2017 Tracy competed on the GSNTV show “Skin Wars: Fresh Paint” and emerged victorious! Tracy’s murals span both coasts with a focus on positive and inclusive messaging. Her debut book “Worthy,” along with the latest “SEEN,” “SEEN Vol. 2,” and “SEEN Vol. 3,” are available through Voss Gallery Books. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in Illustration from California College of the Arts and is represented by Voss Gallery.

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In this week's solo episode, we are about control and what it is that makes it hard for us to navigate our relationship with it.

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In this episode of Untethering Shame, host Kyira Wackett and guest Diane Manser delve into the emotional complexities of teaching. They discuss the often-overlooked emotional load that teachers carry, the challenges they face in the classroom, and the importance of self-awareness and emotional regulation. Diane shares her personal experiences and insights from her 19 years in education, emphasizing the need for support and understanding within the teaching community. The conversation highlights the impact of expectations, the role of self-care, and the importance of creating a supportive environment for both teachers and students.

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More about Diane:

I am a current 18-year veteran high school English teacher. I have written and published a book about the emotional challenges of teaching and how teachers can move themselves to empowerment. I have founded a business called Teaching is Emotional, and my goal is to build a community where we can share our emotional challenges and we can learn from each other’s empowerment strategies.

I am also a mom and wife, I love reading nonfiction, I laugh easily, and feel joy and pride in my personal growth. I return to my WHY as often as possible to stay centered and focused.

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