Untethering Shame

Kyira Wackett and Karin Klein discuss the societal pressures surrounding college education, examining its historical context and the evolving job market. They explore how parental expectations, school systems, and counselors influence students' choices, often reinforcing the notion that college is the only path to success. The conversation emphasizes the need for a cultural shift toward valuing diverse educational and career pathways, recognizing the significance of all professions, including those that do not require a degree. Klein highlights the importance of fostering curiosity, experiential learning, and practical skills, while Wackett underscores the value of process over output in personal growth. Together, they advocate for rethinking traditional definitions of success and creating meaningful learning experiences that prepare students for the workforce beyond academics.

We covered:

• Societal and parental expectations create immense pressure for students to attend college, often reinforcing outdated definitions of success.
• Historically, college was a privilege for the affluent, but the job market has evolved to value skills, training, and maturity over degrees.
• Many students enter college without a clear purpose, while school counselors often lack resources to guide those exploring alternative paths.
• Employers are increasingly dropping degree requirements, recognizing that success comes from various educational and career routes.
• Experiential learning, community colleges, and vocational training offer valuable opportunities that should be valued equally to traditional education.
• Schools need to engage students in meaningful, relevant learning that prioritizes curiosity, personal confidence, and real-world skills.
• Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children's futures but also face societal pressure to conform to conventional success metrics.
• High expectations can lead to stress and anxiety, making it essential to prioritize students’ happiness, safety, and individuality.
• A cultural shift is necessary to redefine education, embracing diverse pathways and fostering lifelong learning beyond academics.

More about Karin:

Longtime editorial writer at the LA Times. On Aug. 13, HarperCollins is publishing my new book, "Rethinking College: A Guide to Thriving Without a Degree." It's about the need to remove the stigma and shame around not having a bachelor's degree and a guide about how to go about creating a great career and life without a four-year degree -- or perhaps getting one after learning more about life. Many real-life examples in the book.

Connect with Karin:

• Karin’s Book: “Rethinking College”
• Check out some of her articles from the LA Times
• LinkedIn

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

In this episode, Kyira Wackett challenges the cultural obsession with productivity and the shame-driven pressure to do it all. She explores how to shift from a mindset of doing to one of being by prioritizing intention and connection over perfection. Listen in to learn how to protect your time, energy, and well-being by investing in yourself thoughtfully and with purpose.

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In this episode of Untethering Shame, host Kyira Wackett and parenting expert Suzie Forbes explore how childhood trauma impacts parenting styles and emotional regulation. Through practical strategies and personal insights, they discuss breaking free from shame cycles, building self-awareness, and creating deeper parent-child connections. Learn evidence-based approaches for emotional regulation, setting healthy boundaries, and fostering resilience in both parents and children.

We covered:

• Unresolved trauma impacts parenting decisions
• Shame and inadequacy affect parenting confidence
• Community support and seeking help are vital
• Values guide intentional parenting choices
• Self-care and emotional regulation matter
• Connection and validation foster healing
• Mindful parenting prevents trauma cycles
• Acceptance helps navigate challenges
• Wonder transforms parenting experiences
• Active listening strengthens relationships

More about Suzie:

I'm Suzie, Founder of The Wonderful Society. I am an occupational therapist (30 yrs), mental health clinician (18 yrs) and mama of 2 kids with big emotions.

✨ I help parents of kids (tines to teens) with big emotions use the power of positive psychology and neuroscience to raise healthier, happier & more helpful humans.

Connect with Suzie:

• Collaborative Book: https://leadwithloveseries.com/
• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• TikTok

Resources Mentioned:

• Grounding Exercise — Grounding with WONDER free mindfulness meditation tool

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Introduction and Emotional Check-In
• 05:58 - The Impact of Shame and Fear in Parenting
• 12:01 - The Role of Community and Support
• 15:01 - Understanding Guilt vs. Shame
• 21:01 - Values-Based Living vs. Shame-Based Healing
• 32:43 - The Importance of Connection in Parenting
• 39:02 - Unpacking Values and Self-Awareness
• 46:10 - Finding Wonder in Parenting
• 51:48 - Grounding in Wonder and Next Steps

In this episode, Kyira Wackett and Angel Wilburn discuss the shame and judgment surrounding breastfeeding. They explore the pressure faced by new mothers to breastfeed and the feelings of failure that can arise when breastfeeding is not possible. They also discuss the challenges of C-sections and the impact of medication on breastfeeding. The conversation highlights the need for support, education, and open dialogue to address the shame and stigma associated with breastfeeding. This conversation explores the challenges and pressures of the breastfeeding journey, particularly in the face of medical complications and societal expectations. Angel shares her personal experience of feeling lonely and overwhelmed as she navigated the difficulties of breastfeeding after a traumatic birth experience. She highlights the importance of having a supportive partner and the impact of medical professionals on her journey. The conversation emphasizes the need for women to make the best decisions for themselves and their babies, free from judgment and pressure. It also underscores the power of connection and listening in providing support to mothers.

We covered:

• Breastfeeding is often entangled with layers of shame and judgment, casting a shadow over the experiences of new mothers.
• Mothers who are unable to breastfeed can feel like failures and experience a sense of shame.
• The pressure to breastfeed is intensified by societal expectations and the belief that it is the only way to be a 'real' mother.
• The challenges of C-sections, including the recovery process and the impact on breastfeeding, can contribute to feelings of failure and shame.
• Support, education, and open dialogue are crucial in addressing the shame and stigma surrounding breastfeeding. Breastfeeding can be a lonely and overwhelming experience, especially when faced with medical complications and societal expectations.
• Having a supportive partner can make a significant difference in a mother's breastfeeding journey.
• The attitude and behavior of medical professionals can greatly impact a mother's experience and decision-making process.
• Mothers should prioritize their own well-being and make the best decisions for themselves and their babies, free from judgment and pressure.
• Connection and listening are powerful tools in providing support to mothers.

More about Angel:

Angel is a Public Relations Specialist. She has a Master of Arts in Public Relations. Angel knows that small business owners wear many hats and believes publicists should be one of them. She works with small businesses to help them increase the visibility of their brand and get organized. She is the Founder of The Modest Company, host of The Mod Co Podcast.

Connect with Angel:

• Website
• Social Handle: @themodcosc
• LinkedIn
• Check out our episode on Angel’s Podcast where we talk about the process of learning to be a fan of ourselves

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Introduction to the Podcast
• 00:28 - The Pressure and Shame of Breastfeeding
• 03:00 - One-Word Check-In
• 04:00 - The Shame of Not Breastfeeding
• 06:20 - Breaking the Silence Around Breastfeeding Shame
• 09:24 - Navigating Overwhelm and Judgment
• 10:23 - Understanding C-Section Stigma
• 13:07 - The Hidden Emotional Toll of Motherhood
• 18:27 - Communication Gaps in Medical Support
• 21:23 - Dealing with Low Milk Supply
• 26:35 - Finding Connection in Isolation
• 36:03 - The Critical Role of Partner Support
• 41:16 - Making Informed Decisions for You and Your Baby
• 46:18 - Advocating for Empowering Healthcare
• 49:41 - The Power of Connection and Listening

Let's talk about the crucial difference in being in the process of change and adaptation versus constantly seeing our lives as something to fix.

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In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Paige Bond explore the nuances of psychedelic assisted psychotherapy, discussing its potential benefits, the importance of intention, and the roles of medical and therapeutic teams. They address common misconceptions, the significance of dosage, and the therapeutic journey's impact on clients, particularly those labeled as treatment resistant. The discussion also delves into the emotional aspects of therapy, including shame and hope, and how these factors influence the healing process. In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Paige Bond delve into the complexities of mental health treatment, particularly focusing on psychedelic-assisted therapy. They discuss the importance of motivation, the impact of medication on identity, and the challenges of navigating treatment resistance. The conversation emphasizes the need for a shift from viewing pain as a problem to be fixed, to an experience to be explored. They highlight the significance of neuroplasticity in therapy and the importance of setting intentions rather than rigid goals. Ultimately, the discussion aims to empower listeners to redefine their relationship with pain and explore new avenues for healing.

We covered:

• Psychedelic assisted psychotherapy offers deeper therapeutic experiences with careful dosage control
• Intention and safety are paramount in therapeutic settings
• Treatment resistance and shame can create barriers to seeking help
• Mental health treatment should focus on exploration rather than avoidance
• Neuroplasticity supports lasting change after therapy
• The healing journey benefits from setting intentions over rigid goals

More about Paige:

Paige Bond is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping individuals, couples, and ENM relationships with concerns about intimacy and relationship anxiety/insecurity. She is also the host of the Stubborn Love podcast, where every episode has actionable tips that will help you create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling love life.

Connect with Paige:

• Paige’s 1st Episode on Untethering Shame
• Website
• Podcast
• Social Handle: @paigelmft
• Want to learn ten effective strategies to calm your jealousy in less time than it takes to finish your morning coffee ☕ ⏰? Download Now at www.paigebond.com/calm-the-chaos-jealousy-workbook-download

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Reunion and Excitement
• 02:16 - Understanding Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy
• 05:43 - The Role of Medical and Therapeutic Teams
• 09:02 - Addressing Misconceptions and Dosage Concerns
• 12:08 - Therapeutic Benefits vs. Addiction Risks
• 15:24 - Metaphors for Understanding Therapy
• 18:19 - Resistance and Hope in Treatment
• 21:24 - Shame and Treatment Resistance
• 24:07 - Exploring the Threshold for Psychedelic Therapy
• 25:14 - The Role of Motivation in Therapy
• 26:30 - Neuroplasticity and Change
• 27:53 - The Impact of Medication on Identity
• 30:47 - The Conveyor Belt of Mental Health Treatment
• 32:10 - Navigating Treatment Resistance
• 35:36 - Understanding Learned Helplessness
• 39:46 - The Complexity of Healing
• 42:59 - Reframing Pain and Distress
• 45:56 - Intentions vs. Goals in Therapy

In this episode of the Untethering Shame podcast, Kyira Wackett and Jane Pilger delve into the intricate relationship between shame and binge eating. They explore how binge eating is often misunderstood as a failure or self-sabotage, when in fact it can be a form of self-protection. Jane outlines the eight common reasons for binge eating, emphasizing the importance of compassion and understanding in addressing the root causes. The conversation also touches on the societal normalization of binge eating, the difference between subjective and objective experiences of bingeing, and the significance of community support in recovery. In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Jane Pilger delve into the complexities of eating disorders, particularly binge eating, and the emotional dysregulation that often accompanies them. They discuss the cyclical nature of these disorders, the importance of understanding the underlying emotional issues, and the eight reasons that contribute to binge eating behaviors. The conversation emphasizes the significance of connection—both with oneself and with others—as a crucial element in the healing process. They explore how shame, judgment, and societal pressures can exacerbate these issues, and they offer insights into how to cultivate a healthier relationship with food and body image.

We covered:

More about Jane:

Jane helps women understand why they binge eat and how to stop. She guides women who have been struggling, often for decades, to find the missing link to go from fighting with their bodies to working with them.

Whether someone is a binge eater, doesn't trust themselves with certain foods, or just doesn't understand why they behave the way they do sometimes, she's got them. She teaches her clients how to understand their behavior, how to develop trust with themselves and how to cultivate the safety that they need to navigate life. Her approach is rooted in the science of the brain and body, trauma informed, and filled with compassion.

Connect with Jane:

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In this week's solo episode we are redefining the role and importance of needs and challenging the idea that hyper-independence is the goal.

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The conversation explores the pressure and expectations placed on individuals to have their lives figured out, particularly in the context of career and personal development. It delves into the challenges of navigating uncertainty, external validation, and the cultural norms that dictate success and fulfillment. The discussion highlights the struggle to balance personal exploration with societal expectations and the impact of privilege on the ability to explore and make choices. The conversation explores the pressure to conform to societal expectations and the struggle to find meaning and fulfillment in a culture that values individual success over collective well-being. It delves into the impact of cultural, gender, and socioeconomic expectations on personal exploration and the challenges of navigating life transitions. The discussion emphasizes the importance of self-trust, self-compassion, and the freedom to change one's mind without shame or judgment.

Takeaways

More about Kate:

Kate is a 25 year old still figuring out what she wants to do in her professional life, though she currently works doing native plant restoration in beautiful Charlottesville, Virginia. She received B.A in Psychology from Reed College in 2021 where she first met Kyira.

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In this conversation, Don Mamone and Kyira Wackett explore how societal binaries and expectations shape our identities and choices. Through personal stories, they discuss embracing authenticity, navigating family dynamics, and the transformative power of self-acceptance. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of creating safe spaces for self-expression and highlights how embracing our differences can become a source of strength.

Key Takeaways

More about Don:

Don Mamone is a queer nonbinary speaker, identity coach & author teaching audiences and clients how to reach their maximum potential & impact by discovering & embracing their true identity and supporting companies dedicated to safe spaces that support unapologetic authenticity.

Connect with Don:

Resources Mentioned:

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