Untethering Shame

In this episode of the Untethering Shame podcast, host Kyira Wackett engages in a profound conversation with Juliana Allen, a queer breath and somatic coach. They explore themes of self-discovery, authenticity, and the courage it takes to live unapologetically. Juliana shares her journey of coming out as a lesbian in her mid-thirties while navigating motherhood and societal expectations. The discussion delves into the impact of trauma, eating disorders, and the healing power of somatic practices. Together, they unpack the complexities of identity, shame, and the path to self-acceptance. In this conversation, Juliana Allen and Kyira Wackett explore the themes of fear, shame, and the journey of self-discovery. They discuss the importance of embracing one's authentic self, the role of children in personal growth, and the significance of breathwork and body awareness in emotional healing. The dialogue emphasizes the need for curiosity and compassion towards oneself, as well as the ongoing process of understanding and accepting one's identity.

We covered:

• Journey of self-discovery intensified during pandemic
• Acknowledging suppressed identities and societal expectations
• Healing through body reconnection and somatic practices
• The role of eating disorders in disconnection from self
• Self-forgiveness and compassion in the coming out process
• Living authentically as an act of self-love
• Building connections for self-acceptance
• Using breathwork for emotional processing
• The importance of bodily awareness
• Understanding emotions as temporary experiences
• Creating space for personal growth

More about Juliana:

Juliana (she/her) is a queer breath and somatic coach passionate about healing trauma through the body and helping others reclaim their authentic self. She came out as a lesbian in her mid-30's while having two young children and being married to a man. Since then, she has come to find her voice and live in alignment with her truth.

Connect with Juliana:

• Website
• Instagram and TikTok: @reclaimwithjuliana

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Introduction to Self-Discovery and Authenticity
• 02:17 - Juliana's Journey of Coming Out
• 06:52 - The Catalyst for Change: COVID and Self-Realization
• 12:14 - Struggles with Eating Disorders and Identity
• 20:20 - Connecting with the Body: Somatic Practices
• 27:39 - Navigating Fear and Shame
• 31:11 - The Role of Children in Personal Growth
• 36:25 - Understanding Emotions and Healing
• 40:38 - The Power of Breathwork
• 54:51 - Creating Space for Authenticity

Feeling completely drained no matter how much rest you get? You might be experiencing burnout—but it’s not just about being overworked or overwhelmed. In this solo episode, host Kyira Wackett dives deep into the truth about burnout and reveals the hidden force driving it: shame.

We explore how shame-based expectations push us beyond our limits, tricking us into believing we need to “do it all” to be worthy. But real recovery doesn’t come from crossing another task off your list—it comes from changing how you respond to stress and stepping out of shame-driven cycles.

If you’ve ever said “I just need to get through this” and still found yourself burnt out afterwards, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn how to reclaim your energy, set boundaries, and start healing from the inside out.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why burnout is a symptom, not the root issue

• The connection between shame and overperformance

• How to identify when shame is driving your behaviors

• What real recovery from burnout looks like

• Practical mindset shifts to stop burnout before it starts

Resources Mentioned:
🔥 Download the FREE handout, "⁠⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠⁠"
🌐 Visit my website
📺 Watch on YouTube
📞 ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Enjoying the podcast?
👉 Subscribe + Leave a 5-Star Review
💬 Share your thoughts in the comments
📲 Send this episode to a friend who needs it

In this episode, we dive into a deeply layered and vulnerable question from an anonymous listener navigating a season of transition. She writes:

"How can I begin to understand who I’m becoming in the midst of it all? How do I honor the version of me who got me here, let go of the identities or roles that no longer fit, and find a grounded sense of trust in myself, even when I feel overwhelmed, self-conscious, or unsure of what I need?"

Together, we unpack the grief of change, the complexity of ambiguous loss, and the power of integration over reinvention. We explore how to show up for yourself through evolving boundaries, radical self-love, and the slow, sacred process of becoming.

Whether you’re in your own season of identity shift or simply need permission to let go and begin again, this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠ Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website

🌱 You are allowed to grieve the past, embrace the present, and trust your unfolding future. One breath, one boundary, one brave moment at a time.

#AskMeAnything #ShameResilience #RadicalAcceptance #AdversityRising #IdentityTransitions #EmotionalWellness #PodcastForHealing

In this episode of the Untethering Shame podcast, host Kyira Wackett and guest Markella Kaplani delve into the complexities of parenthood, particularly the loss of self that many caregivers experience. They discuss the overwhelming emotions that come with parenting, the societal pressures to be perfect, and the clash between masculine and feminine energies. The conversation emphasizes the importance of acknowledging grief in the transition to parenthood and the need for self-compassion and acceptance. In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Markella Kaplani explore the complexities of parenthood, identity, and the emotional challenges that arise during this transformative journey. They discuss the importance of integrating personal values, navigating trust in relationships, and the significance of inner child work. The conversation emphasizes the role of shame in hindering personal growth and the necessity of compassion and curiosity in the healing process. They also address the identity shifts that come with parenthood and the normalization of these experiences to foster connection and understanding among parents.

We covered:

• Parenthood brings significant identity shifts and challenges
• Feeling overwhelmed while loving your children is normal
• Societal pressure creates unrealistic expectations for parents
• Grieving pre-parenthood freedom and identity is natural
• Each parenting choice involves sacrificing alternatives
• Not loving every aspect of parenthood is okay
• Self-compassion and acceptance aid mental wellbeing
• Shame can block emotional healing and relationship repair
• Embodied healing helps address stored shame
• Building community reduces parental isolation

More about Markella:

Markella has dedicated her career to assisting adults, parents, and children navigate their mental health challenges.

She holds a Master’s degree in Clinical & Counseling Psychology and has over 15 years of experience in both psychotherapeutic and educational settings.

In working with such a range of people, she’s had the opportunity to develop a comprehensive understanding of the diverse systems that constitute the human experience. As such, she possesses a holistic point of view, understanding the intricacies of interpersonal relationships and their pivotal role in mental health.

After becoming a mom herself, Markella shifted her focus to mothers and couples, recognizing the challenges that parenthood presents, ironically paired with the inordinate lack of assistance provided by our institutions and systems.

Connect with Markella:

Instagram Website

The Parent & Relationship Podcast

Resources Mentioned:

RECONNECT to Yourself!

A FREE mini-course that serves as a great introduction to matrescence - the metamorphosis from woman to mother - and all the ways in which we develop. Learn how you can make all the changes you feel turn from uncomfortable to a SUPEROWER!

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - The Complexity of Parenthood and Identity Loss
• 12:49 - The Pressure of Perfectionism in Parenting
• 30:10 - Grieving the Loss of Self in Parenthood
• 40:00 - Trust and Dependence in Relationships
• 43:44 - Inner Child Work and Self-Compassion
• 49:10 - Addressing Shame and Healing Relationships
• 01:03:10 - Normalizing the Parenting Journey

In this premiere episode, I’m answering a question from listener Kim:

“Does venting actually help, from a physiological standpoint?”

We’re diving into the science behind emotional release, when venting helps (and when it doesn’t), and how to use it as a tool for nervous system regulation instead of getting stuck in the spiral.

✨ Whether you’ve asked yourself this question before or just needed permission to feel big things out loud — this one’s for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?
Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).
Submit anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.
👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

#AskMeAnything #RadicalAcceptance #MentalHealthMondays #ShameResilience #AdversityRisingPodcast

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

In this expansive and thought-provoking episode, Kyira Wackett and Veronica Weedon dive deep into the intersection of mindset, healing, and personal responsibility. The conversation begins with an exploration of the law of attraction, energy, and vibration—unpacking how our internal state shapes the people and experiences we draw into our lives. Veronica shares personal insights and tools for raising our vibration, including mindfulness and slowing down negative thought patterns.

As the dialogue unfolds, Kyira and Veronica challenge common misconceptions about the law of attraction, emphasizing that it’s not about bypassing life’s hardships but about taking ownership of our energy and choices. They explore the foundational belief of “I am not enough” and how early life experiences inform our behaviors, often leading to co-dependence and dysfunctional relationship dynamics.

Together, they explore the difference between empathy and compassion, how each affects our nervous system and boundaries, and the power of choosing compassion as a healing response. The episode closes with a look at the roles we adopt in family systems, the fear of the unknown, and the liberating potential of change—especially when supported by tools like hypnotherapy, self-care, and boundary setting.

We covered:

• Our energy and mindset shape the experiences and people we attract into our lives.
• Thoughts, beliefs, and past experiences—especially from childhood—form our energetic patterns and behaviors.
• Co-dependence often stems from the deep-rooted belief that “I am not enough” and attempts to meet unmet needs.
• Shifting our mindset and raising our vibration takes practice, mindfulness, and a commitment to growth.
• While we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can control how we respond—and that’s where our power lies.
• Empathy can drain our energy, while compassion helps us stay grounded and connected without self-sacrifice.
• Healing often means taking responsibility for our emotions, setting boundaries, and choosing to let go of what no longer serves us.
• Embracing the unknown and creating space for something new is a key part of transformation.
• Tools like hypnotherapy can help reframe limiting beliefs and shift long-standing patterns.
• Self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s essential for well-being, especially when unlearning dysfunctional roles from family dynamics.

More about Veronica:

Veronica Weedon is an holistic health coach, Rapid Transformation Therapy practitioner, hypnotherapist, and the Founder of Revival Health GmbH, a practice that helps people move towards healthier relationships and a better life.

After years of her own healing journey, Veronica now helps clients uncover the root cause of their own destructive patterns, reform their beliefs, and transform their relationships and life by addressing health on an emotional, mental, and physical level.

Connect with Veronica:

• Website
• Medium
• LinkedIn
• Instagram

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Emotions don’t disappear — no matter how hard we try to ignore or suppress them. In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira talks about the importance of emotional intelligence and how understanding our feelings can transform our well-being. She breaks down the layers of our emotions, explains why they often show up in complex ways, and offers actionable steps to navigate them with compassion. If you're ready to build a healthier relationship with your emotions, this episode is for you.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Reese explore the complexities of grief, emphasizing its individual nature and the misconceptions surrounding it. They discuss the emotional journey of grieving, including anticipatory grief, sudden loss, and the struggle to feel a range of emotions, including joy and shame. The dialogue highlights the importance of vulnerability and the need to embrace one's feelings as part of the healing process. In this conversation, Reese and Kyira explore the complexities of grief, particularly complicated grief, and the journey towards healing through art and writing. They discuss the importance of connection and vulnerability in sharing one's emotional pain, and how acceptance plays a crucial role in navigating grief. Reese shares her personal experiences and insights on living with grief, emphasizing the need for self-compassion and the joy of being human amidst loss.

We covered:

• Every grief journey is unique and personal
• Both anticipatory and sudden loss carry their own complexities
• Intellectualizing grief can be a defense against feeling
• Joy and grief can coexist, despite societal pressure
• Shame often accompanies grief expression
• All emotions in grief are valid
• Grief integration rather than "moving on" is key
• Vulnerability and sharing foster healing
• Creative outlets can help process grief
• Self-compassion and acceptance are essential
• Grief is non-linear and requires integration
• Multiple truths can exist simultaneously in grief

More about Cleo:

Cleo Childs released her spoken word poetry album "Moving With" on May 15th. This album is the culmination of two and a half years of writing about the journey of grief she experienced after losing her mom to Alzheimer's when she was 28 years old. Her mother was an English major in college and her grandmother, who is also one of her editors, was an English teacher for 30 years so she came by her grief processing tool of writing poetry naturally. With this spoken word poetry album, she hopes to show the path her grief took from having her mother, losing her mother, and the peace and acceptance she feels now. She also hopes to give an authentic and honest look at what her grief felt like so other people going through grief don't feel alone and feel community in their grief.

Connect with Cleo:

• Website

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Introduction to Grief and Vulnerability
• 05:39 - The Individual Nature of Grief
• 12:25 - Navigating Anticipatory and Sudden Grief
• 17:17 - The Freedom in Feeling Emotions
• 22:10 - Joy and Shame in Grief
• 24:51 - The Healing Power of Art and Writing
• 30:26 - From Isolation to Connection
• 32:03 - Understanding Grief and Acceptance
• 46:50 - The Journey of Being Human

In this episode of Untethering Shame, host Kyira Wackett engages in a profound conversation with Taylor Owens, a human trafficking survivor and advocate. They explore the intricate relationship between shame, trauma, and the societal perceptions surrounding human trafficking. Taylor shares her personal journey, highlighting the complexities of grooming, the impact of silence and shame, and the importance of advocacy and healing. The discussion emphasizes the need for open conversations about human trafficking to foster understanding and support for survivors. In this conversation, Taylor Owens shares her profound journey through trauma, human trafficking, and the path to healing. She discusses the complexities of trauma, the struggle with trust and relationships, and the importance of forgiveness in reclaiming one's life. Taylor emphasizes the need for self-empowerment and setting boundaries while navigating the aftermath of her experiences. The dialogue highlights the significance of understanding and supporting those who have faced similar challenges, ultimately advocating for compassion and systemic change in how society addresses these issues.

We covered:

• Shame distorts self-worth and hinders recovery
• Trafficking often involves familiar relationships and early grooming
• Society's stigma and judgment create barriers to seeking help
• Healing requires confronting trauma and building boundaries
• Recovery involves developing self-sufficiency and independence
• Forgiveness and empowerment come from reclaiming one's narrative
• Creating safe spaces and advocacy foster meaningful change
• Understanding trafficking's complexity helps prevention
• Trust and relationships require careful rebuilding
• Empathy and open dialogue support survivor healing

More about Taylor:

Human Trafficking Overcomer turned Innovative Mastermind. Community Engagement Officer. At Risk Youth Coach. Up and Coming Future Legislator.

Connect with Taylor:

• Website
• LinkedIn

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Introduction to Shame and Human Trafficking
• 05:52 - Understanding Human Trafficking
• 10:09 - The Complexity of Grooming and Abuse
• 20:44 - The Impact of Shame and Silence
• 28:45 - Breaking Free: Healing and Advocacy
• 32:24 - Navigating Trust and Relationships Post-Trauma
• 39:56 - The Struggle with Shame and Self-Forgiveness
• 44:48 - The Power of Forgiveness in Healing
• 48:56 - Building Boundaries and Trust
• 51:37 - A Message to My Younger Self

In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira dives into the tricky world of ego, comparison, and shame. She explores how the ego tries to protect us by pushing us into comparison mode, making us feel either inferior or superior. Kyira shares how to recognize these patterns, shift from judgment to curiosity, and build resilience through self-awareness. Tune in for practical tips on how to break free from the comparison trap and reclaim your sense of self-worth.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website