Untethering Shame

In part 2 of the conversation, Sandra reflects on her experience growing up in a cult and the challenges she faced in developing her sense of self. She discusses the deep sense of community and shared experiences within the cult, as well as the loneliness and struggle to connect with others outside of it. Sandra also opens up about her battle with suicidal thoughts and her reliance on alcohol as a coping mechanism. The conversation highlights the subtle erosion of self and the power dynamics within cults, as well as the importance of healing and finding one's own path. Sandra reflects on her relationship with her mother and the challenges they faced due to their different experiences in the cult. She discusses the difficulty of fully expressing her feelings about the cult with her parents and the transformation their relationship has gone through over the years. Sandra also talks about the healing process she and her mother are going through and the challenges of building trust with herself. She shares her desire to write a business plan and pursue her dreams, despite the fear of failure.

Takeaways

• Growing up in a cult provided a sense of community and shared experiences, but also led to a struggle to connect with others outside of the cult.
• Sandra battled with suicidal thoughts and turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism to numb her pain and loneliness.
• The power dynamics within the cult and the manipulation of free will by those in positions of power eroded the sense of safety and community.
• Leaving the cult was a difficult decision, but it allowed Sandra to start her healing journey and find her own path.
• The conversation highlights the importance of understanding the underlying pain and trauma that can lead to addiction and self-destructive behaviors. The challenges of navigating a relationship with a parent who still adheres to the rules and beliefs of a cult
• The importance of open and honest communication in healing and repairing relationships
• The process of building trust with oneself and overcoming self-doubt and fear of failure
• The significance of pursuing one's dreams and not letting fear hold you back

More about Sandra:

My name is Sandra Huitt and I'm a cult survivor, cycle breaker, and activist. I studied World Religion and History to check the accuracy of what I was taught as a child and I remain a passionate student in those fields as there's always more to learn. A decade of social work and pediatric counseling aligns with my belief that a rising tide lifts all boats. Vulnerability is one of my superpowers and I use it often to discuss my journey through healing to encourage others to find their path.  Traveling the world to absorb the beauty of other cultures lights me on fire and singing my heart out makes my soul happy.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a ⁠free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠ and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website⁠

Chapters

• 00:00 - Introduction and Setting Intentions
• 06:10 - Exploring Sandra's First 17 Years in the Cult
• 09:09 - Questioning and Witnessing the Negative Aspects
• 13:06 - Victim-Blaming and Safety Erosion
• 20:11 - Mental Health Struggles and Coping Mechanisms
• 26:30 - Navigating Relationships with Parents in Cults
• 32:59 - Healing Through Communication
• 37:25 - Power Dynamics and Finding Your Voice
• 42:35 - Building Self-Trust and Overcoming Fear

Keywords

cult, leaving, healing, othering, fitting in, struggle, parents, anger, belonging, identity, trust, self-love, healing, demystify, self-worth

If you’ve ever been told your standards are “too high” or felt like backing off meant giving up, this episode is for you. In today’s conversation, Kyira unpacks the real issue behind perfectionism and burnout—not the ambition itself, but the context in which our standards are created. We’ll explore how shame, external validation, and scarcity shape our goals, and how radical acceptance can help you rewrite the script to live more aligned, sustainable, and whole.

In this episode, Kyira explores:

• Why high standards aren't inherently bad

• The hidden cost of overfunctioning and performance-based worth

• The difference between narrowing your focus and broadening your view

• How to identify the areas of life you're starving while feeding others

• Why tending to “low ROI” roles like rest and creativity is essential to thriving

Reflection prompts:

• Which “plants” in your life are you overwatering—and which are being neglected?

• Whose approval are your standards designed to earn?

• What would it look like to set goals rooted in your truth, not your shame?

📝 Ask Me Anything: Have a Question?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠ Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website

In this episode, I’m answering a deeply personal and powerful question from Zoe, who asks:

“Is it ever possible to experience true body love and acceptance?”

Together, we unpack the immense pressure placed on us by cultural norms, beauty standards, and internalized bias — and how those messages make peace with our bodies feel almost impossible. We explore:

• Why body “love” may not be the most realistic or helpful goal
• How shame and all-or-nothing thinking keep us trapped in cycles of guilt and comparison
• The freedom of choosing body neutrality over perfection
• And how radical acceptance can offer us a more compassionate path forward

This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt stuck between self-love and self-criticism, who’s tired of trying to earn their worth through appearance, and who’s ready to build a relationship with their body based on truth, care, and dignity.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠ Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website

💬 You don’t have to love your body to respect it. You don’t have to feel beautiful to be worthy. You get to take up space — exactly as you are.

#AskMeAnything #BodyNeutrality #RadicalAcceptance #BodyImageHealing #ShameResilience #AdversityRising #PodcastForHealing

Join Kyira Wackett and David Bedrick as they explore the intricate relationship between shame and healing. Their conversation covers mental health, emotional processing, and the concept of 'unshaming' - particularly in relation to addiction and eating disorders. They discuss how shame affects relationships, parenting, and power dynamics, while emphasizing the importance of compassion, curiosity, and authentic connections in the healing journey. The dialogue concludes by examining codependency, self-discovery, and the process of understanding personal needs in relationships.

We covered:

• Understanding and accepting shame is crucial for healing
• Emotions need understanding rather than pathologizing
• Somatic experiences and self-expression aid healing
• Parents' inner critic affects child connection
• Emotional awareness strengthens relationships
• Authenticity fosters connection while defensiveness hinders it
• Shame reinforces power dynamics and oppression
• Addiction and codependency stem from unmet emotional needs
• Personal agency and need recognition are vital
• Support should remain unconditional
• Curiosity and inner wisdom guide healing
• Self-acceptance enables authentic expression

More about David:

Author of 4 books, process worker and teacher of 'the unshaming way.' I have over 30 years of experience working psychotherapeutically with individuals and teaching individuals, healers and therapist. Shame and unshaming is my passion - guiding people into a healing paradigm that addresses all issues, from trauma to physical illness by unfolding the meaning and message in the symptoms we are mostly guided to 'get rid of.'

Connect with David:

• Website
• Instagram
• Book: “Unshaming Way”

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

00:00 - Personal Challenges and COVID's Impact

03:01 - Understanding Shame: A Deep Dive

08:46 - The Role of Somatic Experience in Healing

11:57 - Eating Disorders and Shame

14:59 - The Concept of Unshaming

20:49 - Shame and Addiction

26:43 - Parenting and the Inner Critic

38:45 - Building Authentic Relationships

44:46 - Shame in Power Dynamics

56:00 - Understanding Codependency

01:02:25 - The Journey of Self-Discovery

01:08:55 - The Unshaming Way and Its Impact

In this episode, I’m responding to a heartfelt question from Chris, who writes:

“My wife and my mom have very different ideas about how we should raise our child and what role my mom should play in our lives. I want to respect my mom, but also build strong roots with my own family. My wife is exhausted and needs me to set better boundaries — but I’m struggling with guilt, and I don’t want to hurt my mom or make everything feel like a fight. How do I start this conversation without it becoming an attack?”

We explore the deep emotional dynamics at play when you're caught between honoring your past and protecting your present. From guilt-based conditioning and lifelong family roles to radical acceptance and values-based communication, this episode is about how to step into your identity as a partner, parent, and son without abandoning yourself or others in the process.

If you’re navigating family pressure, boundary guilt, or just trying to parent differently than how you were raised — this episode is for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠ Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website

🧭 You can love your family and still lead from your own values. Boundaries aren’t rejection — they’re clarity, and they’re care.

#AskMeAnything #FamilyBoundaries #GuiltAndGrowth #ShameResilience #RadicalAcceptance #AdversityRising #PodcastForHealing

In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Elizabeth Kipp explore the complex relationship between shame, recovery, and self-compassion. They discuss the impact of shame on addiction, the importance of breathwork in healing, and the role of inner child work in understanding our emotional responses. The dialogue emphasizes the need for radical acceptance and the power of self-discovery in overcoming shame and fostering resilience. Elizabeth shares personal experiences and insights from her journey in recovery, highlighting the significance of compassion and the innate healing capabilities within each individual.

Takeaways:

• Shame is a significant barrier in addiction recovery.
• Turning towards shame can lead to personal freedom.
• Inner child healing is an ongoing process.
• Ancestral trauma influences our current emotional patterns.
• The question of 'enough' often stems from shame.
• Breathwork is a powerful tool for emotional regulation.
• Resistance in healing is a common experience.
• Radical acceptance is crucial for self-compassion.
• We have the power to redesign our emotional patterns.
• Self-discovery is key to empowerment in healing.

More About Elizabeth:

Elizabeth Kipp is a Stress Management and Historical Trauma Specialist who uses Trauma-Trained and Yoga-Informed Addiction Recovery Coaching, Ancestral Clearing®, Compassionate Inquiry, and Yoga to help people with their healing. Elizabeth healed from over 40 years of chronic pain, including anxiety, panic attacks, and addiction. She now guides others to unleash their healing power, find freedom from suffering, and live a thriving life. She is the best-selling author of “The Way Through Chronic Pain: Tools to Reclaim Your Healing Power.”

Connect with Elizabeth:

• ⁠Website⁠
• ⁠Facebook⁠
• ⁠Instagram⁠
• ⁠LinkedIn⁠
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Amazon Author Page

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

🎙 Got a question you've been too afraid to ask? Now’s your chance! Our new Ask Me Anything segment is here, where I answer YOUR biggest questions—about shame, boundaries, relationships, self-doubt, and everything in between. No topic is off-limits, and you can stay anonymous.

💬 Submit your question here

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Introduction and Our Guest
• 03:01 - Personal Experiences with Shame
• 06:00 - Inner Child Healing
• 08:53 - Understanding Ancestral Trauma
• 12:01 - Exploring the Question of Enoughness
• 17:59 - Using Breathwork for Regulation
• 23:56 - Working Through Resistance
• 27:03 - Practicing Self-Compassion
• 32:58 - Key Takeaways and Resources

Ever catch yourself thinking, “I’m such a failure” or “I’m so fat”? These thoughts might seem harmless—or even true—but they’re often rooted in shame and distorted beliefs. And here’s the truth: the way we talk to ourselves matters.

In this solo episode, host Kyira Wackett unpacks the transformational power of shifting from “I am” to “I feel.” This simple change can help us stop identifying with our shame and start practicing compassion and curiosity instead.

If you’re ready to break the cycle of harsh inner dialogue and reconnect with your true worth, this episode offers a practical and powerful place to start.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
🧠 Why “I am” statements reinforce shame
💬 How to reframe negative self-talk without dismissing your emotions
💡 The neuroscience of language and identity
🛠 A quick, everyday tool to support your shame resilience
❤️ Why feelings deserve space—but don’t deserve control over your identity

Resources Mentioned:🔥 Download the FREE handout, "⁠⁠⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠⁠⁠" 🌐 Visit my ⁠website⁠📺 Watch on ⁠YouTube⁠📞 ⁠⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

If this episode resonated with you:
💬 Share your thoughts in the comments
⭐ Leave a 5-star review to support the show
📲 Send this episode to someone who needs a language reframe today

In today’s episode, I’m answering a powerful and deeply relatable question from an anonymous listener who writes:

“How do I stop feeling guilty when I take time for myself instead of constantly being 'on' for my kids? I love being the one they turn to — but I’m exhausted, and I feel like I can’t catch a break in any role of my life. And when I do take time for myself, I either feel anxious or end up using it to catch up on everything else. I want to be present, but I also want to feel like I exist outside of being a parent. What do I do?”

We explore the roots of guilt, the cultural and personal narratives that make us feel like we have to earn our rest, and how to begin practicing radical acceptance and boundary-setting even in the thick of parenting.

Whether you're a caregiver, a parent, or someone simply trying to survive in a world that expects you to be “on” all the time — this one’s for you.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠ Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website

💬 You are not just the roles you fulfill — you are a whole person. And that person deserves rest, care, and compassion.

#AskMeAnything #MomGuilt #BurnoutRecovery #ShameResilience #RadicalAcceptance #ParentingBoundaries #AdversityRising #PodcastForHealing

In this episode, Kyira Wackett and Shane Thrapp discuss neurodiversity, exploring misconceptions, diagnosis impacts, and parenting challenges. Shane shares personal insights about navigating neurodivergent parenting, dealing with imposter syndrome, and processing trauma. The conversation emphasizes support, acceptance, and celebrating individual strengths while promoting a compassionate approach to neurodiversity and personal growth.

We covered:

• Neurodiversity includes all brain types and ways of functioning
• Common misconceptions lead to stigma and unhelpful "normal" standards
• ADHD and autism diagnoses don't mean children are "broken"
• Education systems need better neurodivergent accommodation
• Parents struggle with shame and need permission to parent differently
• Late-life diagnoses bring mixed emotions and realizations
• Empathy and understanding help reshape views on neurodiversity
• Accepting grief and trauma is part of the healing process
• Professional support benefits both parents and children
• Focus on individual strengths and developmental stages
• Embrace unconventional paths and learning through failure
• Support groups provide essential community resources

More about Shane:

Shane Thrapp is a Certified ADHD Entrepreneur and Parenting Coach, and the founder of Creating Order From Chaos—a coaching and consulting business that empowers ADHD entrepreneurs and parents to harness their strengths and build fulfilling, sustainable lives. In his work, he helps entrepreneurs turn their ideas into action, leveraging their unique ADHD traits to create businesses that align with their passions. He also supports parents in navigating the challenges of raising neurodivergent children, providing guidance on emotional regulation, executive function, and fostering a strengths-based mindset.

Beyond his coaching, Shane is a dedicated advocate for ADHD awareness, serving as a public speaker, the Operations Director for the Men’s ADHD Support Group, leads their partner groups ADHD/Autism Parent Support Groups, and serves as a board member of Dueling Minds, a nonprofit dedicated to peer-to-peer AuDHD support.

His mission is to empower neurodivergent individuals to embrace their authentic selves while helping parents, educators, and businesses create environments where ADHD minds thrive.

Connect with Shane:

• Parent Website - https://www.creatingorderfromchaos.com/parenting-coach
• ADHD Parent Support Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdparentsupportgroup
• Autism Parent Support Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/autisticchildrenparentsupport
• Men’s ADHD Support Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/mensadhdsupportgroup

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• YouTube
• Website

Chapters:

• 00:00 - Introduction to Neurodivergence
• 02:42 - Understanding Neurodiversity and Common Misconceptions
• 06:24 - The Impact of Diagnosis on Children and Adults
• 10:14 - Supporting Neurodivergent Children
• 16:22 - Managing Parental Shame and Guilt
• 24:39 - Overcoming Imposter Syndrome in Parenting
• 30:30 - The Journey to Self-Discovery
• 34:47 - Processing Grief and Finding Acceptance
• 43:51 - Embracing Neurodiversity
• 47:35 - Community Resources and Support

In this episode, I’m answering a thoughtful and courageous question from listener Astrid, who asks:

“What can I do to remain emotionally engaged during conflicts with others, rather than detaching by convincing myself it doesn't matter or making it a purely logical debate?”

Together, we explore why we shut down in conflict, what internal protectors might be showing up, and how early experiences may have shaped our response to tension and emotional intensity. Through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), nervous system regulation, and inner child healing, we unpack how to move from detachment to presence — with compassion, not pressure.

If you’ve ever found yourself zoning out, numbing, or over-rationalizing during conflict — this one’s for you. You are not broken. You are protecting something sacred. And there is a way to come home to yourself, even in the hard conversations.

📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?

Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).

⁠Submit⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.

👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA

🧠 If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s break the silence — together.

Ready to take the next step?

• Download the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.
• ⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.

Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to the podcast on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠ Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.
• ⁠YouTube⁠
• ⁠Website

✨ Your emotions matter. You are allowed to stay. You don’t have to disappear to keep the peace.

#AskMeAnything #ConflictAvoidance #InternalFamilySystems #ShameResilience #EmotionalSafety #PodcastForHealing #AdversityRising