In this week's solo episode, I want to discuss your expectations. Expectations are not a bad thing. Expectations out of context or without flexibility are the problem and are ultimately fueled by and refueling your shame. So what can we do about it?

In this episode, Kyira Wackett and Lara Days discuss intuitive eating and body image. They explore the challenges of shame surrounding food and the journey towards intuitive eating. They also delve into the pitfalls of diet culture and the importance of challenging fat phobia. The conversation highlights the physiological and psychological reasons why we struggle with intuitive eating and offers insights into shifting internal beliefs about body size. The episode emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance, self-compassion, and body liberation. In this conversation, Lara and Kyira discuss body trust and intuitive eating. They explore the factors that impact body size and challenge societal expectations. They emphasize the importance of honoring body cues and starting with small actions to build body trust. They also discuss the challenges of transitioning from athletics and the need for self-compassion during the process. The conversation concludes with a reminder to embrace discomfort and take one step at a time toward a healthier relationship with the body.

Takeaways

Get to Know Lara:

Lara Days is a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, yoga instructor, Master Health Coach, and sports nutritionist who aims to dismantle the diet industry and empower people to live their happiest, healthiest, most confident lives! Lara focuses on helping you improve your mindset, unlearn your past conditioning, and trust your body so that you can find food freedom, ditch diet culture, and step into your power! Your work with her won't just change your relationship with your body — it will change how you show up in every aspect of your life.

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Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to the Topic and Guest

06:18 Understanding Intuitive Eating

10:05 Why We Struggle with Intuitive Eating

23:08 Shifting Internal Beliefs about Body Size

25:48 The Cost of Pursuing Weight Loss

27:56 Making Different Choices

28:23 Factors Impacting Body Size

29:05 Challenging Body Size Expectations

30:22 Intention Behind Health Goals

31:19 Judgment and Self-Worth

32:40 Building Body Trust

33:09 Putting Marbles in the Jar

34:05 Starting with Small Actions

35:10 Honoring Body Cues

36:21 Transitions and Trusting the Body

41:33 Body Changes and Acceptance

44:33 Trusting the Body and Processing Pain

46:29 Taking Small Steps and Embracing Discomfort

50:09 Reframing Past Actions

51:47 Connecting with Lara

The conversation covers relationships, career flexibility, and personal growth. It examines relationship evolution, communication, and the impact of children. Career flexibility, the courage to explore new paths, and the significance of choosing one's own adventure are discussed, along with upbringing's influence on career choices and the value of personal growth. The conversation addresses balancing career aspirations with personal responsibilities, societal expectations, and the desire to be present in both work and family life. It also explores self-preservation, intentional time away from loved ones, authenticity, external approval, and balancing striving with being. Topics include charging for services, struggles with money and career choices, creativity and self-expression, radical acceptance, asking for help, reverse brainstorming, and making 1% changes for improvement.

Takeaways

More about Andrea:

ICF Certified Coach who helps parents figure out their work life rhythms, creating more quality time with their families while continuing to grow personally and professionally. She hosts the All Figured Out podcast, coaches clients 1:1, and hosts events online and in Vancouver, Canada.

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Chapters

how to reconcile that feeling that other's don't work as hard as you and the pressure you carry as a result.

Summary

In this episode, the host and guest discuss moving on from toxic relationships and the healing process. They address societal pressure to stay in unhealthy relationships and the importance of emotional processing and growth. The conversation highlights seeking help and support, the impact of conditional love, and the role of shame in hindering healing. Lucy Price delves into the emotional and cognitive aspects of navigating breakups or divorce, stressing the need to process emotions without attaching meaning. She discusses how breakups affect self-worth and future relationships, emphasizing emotional intelligence, recognizing and naming emotions, and integrating complex feelings toward ex-partners. Lucy also highlights the significance of compassion, shifting perspectives, taking ownership of thoughts and choices, and seeking support from trusted individuals or professionals.

Takeaways

Get to know Lucy:

“I’m a relationship coach who guides people to move on from their exes, release relationship anxiety, and create incredible relationships- with themselves and others.”

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In this episode, Alicia Jacobson and Kyira Wackett discuss the relentless impact of shame and the challenges of navigating daily life while contending with shame and trauma. They explore the compounding effect of shame and the importance of finding respite in music. They also delve into the universality of shame and the process of unpacking and recognizing personal shame. The conversation highlights the need to reevaluate success and worthiness and emphasizes the continuous journey of healing and shame resilience. The conversation explores the process of starting and not being afraid, practicing gratitude and balancing the good and the bad, being grateful for the opportunities in relationships, control and people-pleasing as avoidance, inconveniences and the need for control, the fragility of personal systems and structures, losing adaptability as we get older, fear and pressure in maintaining order, learning to be okay with inconveniences, self-management and being present in difficult moments, not needing to have all the answers, and cultivating emotional and body intelligence.

Takeaways

More about Alecia:

Alecia Jacobson’s passion is helping women uncover their hidden strength and power to be the Badasses they truly are. A wife, mom, stepmom, motivational speaker, fitness trainer and women's mind and body coach, Alecia understands the many roles and missions that drive her clients. She deeply loves 90’s rap music, which pairs nicely with her six kids and mom car! When her bass is not bumping, you’ll find her listening to books or podcasts, gathering information and tools to serve her clients better. Serving women lights her fire almost as much as Tupac does! 

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Chapters

WE ARE CONSTANTLY FORCING OURSELVES TO "GET OVER IT."

We fear conflict and challenging conversations to the point we bury our feelings inside until we either explode or become so detached and resentful we no longer engage meaningfully in our relationships.

Why do we do it? The short answer, it's easier...in the moment, anyway. But what if we stopped? What would it be like to change the way we show up to our lives and especially in our relationships with others?

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In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Cassandra Johnson discuss the importance of acknowledging and healing the inner child as a part of trauma recovery. They explore the concept of using fantasy and imagination as a tool for healing, and how creating a physical space that reflects childhood interests and comforts can provide a sense of safety and control. They emphasize the need for radical acceptance and validation of past experiences, and the importance of reparenting oneself in order to heal and break patterns. They also address the shame and stigma that can be associated with trauma and the fear of being seen as weak or different. In this conversation, Kyira and Cassandra discuss the importance of creating spaces that reflect our inner child and promote healing. They explore the shame and vulnerability that can arise when sharing these spaces with others, and the fear of judgment. Cassandra emphasizes the need to find the right people to trust and the importance of setting boundaries. They also discuss the power of tapping into our childlike creativity and imagination, and how it can bring joy and healing. Cassandra offers practical advice on how to start this healing journey, including connecting with our inner child and creating a safe space in our homes.

Takeaways

Meet Cassandra:

There was once a little girl who would escape to a fantasy land to cope with her abuse. This little girl became an adult and began to heal her inner child. During this healing journey, it became evident how common it is for children of trauma to use escapism as a form of healing. From this realization, Cassandra Flora Designs was born.

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Keywords

inner child, trauma recovery, fantasy, imagination, healing, radical acceptance, validation, reparenting, shame, stigma, healing, vulnerability, creating spaces, trust, boundaries, childlike creativity

In this episode, Jessica Parente joins us to discuss the topic of codependency and its connection to shame. Codependency is a psychological condition that intertwines a person's self-worth and identity with the needs and behaviors of others. The conversation explores the roots of codependency, its effects on our lives, and how breaking free from these patterns can help us reclaim our sense of self and reduce the burden of shame. The guests share personal experiences and insights, highlighting the importance of understanding and healing codependency. In this conversation, Kyira and Jess discuss the challenges of setting boundaries and the role of shame in maintaining them. They also explore the impact of codependency and narcissism in relationships, particularly with parents. Jess shares her personal journey of healing from codependency and offers resources for those who want to start their own healing journey. The conversation emphasizes the importance of reconnecting with the body, trusting gut feelings, and allowing oneself to feel without apology. It concludes with the reminder that healing is a personal journey and that it's okay to be wherever you are.

Takeaways

Keywords

codependency, shame, psychological condition, self-worth, identity, roots, effects, breaking free, healing, boundaries, codependency, narcissism, healing journey, bodywork

More About Jessica:

Jessica Parente is an ANCC-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, an ICF Accredited Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach, a Level IV Brainspotting Provider & a Best-Selling Author. Her chapter, “Lather, Rinse, Repeat… Until You Don’t” outlines her struggles with Codependency & is featured in Narcissistic Abuse Specialist Caroline Strawson’s most recent book, “The Unseen Wounds of Women.” As the founder of It Ends With You LLC, she is passionate about helping others identify their own subconscious and Codependent patterns so that they can heal, shift and step into a life that is authentic, intentional and true to themselves. As a Recovered Codependent & a Survivor of Grief, Trauma, Generational Trauma & Narcissistic Abuse, Jess pulls from her own journey to normalize client experiences and to instill hope these challenges are NOT a life sentence. 

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Chapters

00:00 — Understanding Codependency

17:59 — Codependency and Narcissism

25:59 — Navigating Boundaries and Shame

37:03 — The Deconstruction of Codependency

46:31 — Meeting Yourself Where You Are

In this episode, I am sharing one of the most crucial pieces of advice I can ever give you: You are NOT that Important. Let's talk about what makes this so empowering!

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Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame." Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. Be sure to visit our website or YouTube channel for more engaging content.