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Untethering Shame
Untethering Shame episodes
- The Comparison Trap
In this week's solo episode, we are talking about the power of comparison and the impact it has on our well-being and sense of self.
Learn:
- Why we compare ourselves to others
- The difference between up-comparison & down-comparison
- What we can do to break out of the comparison cycle
Stay Connected:
Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame." Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. Be sure to visit our website or YouTube channel for more engaging content.
9 min - Shame & Identity Burnout: The Problem with Role Over-Identification
Whew I loved everything about getting to talk with Nic Scholtysik about her work in identity burnout and really diving deep into the connect most important to a full life. Some of my favorite takeaways included:
- What makes hard conversations difficult and why they are important
- What is identity related burnout?
- The loneliness and overwhelm that can come with the “expat” experience
- The impact of over identification — both when chosen and when transposed onto you
- How Nic’s skillset ultimately put her out of business
- How your home design tells us everything about our sense of joy and fulfillment
- What is “borrowed style” and how are you leveraging that to try and find happiness
- How are we rushing ourselves into “being” by not giving our bodies time to show up and exist in the space
- What stops us from asking the hard questions
- How we can make a living but fail to live a life
- What it looks like to cultivate enthusiasm in your life
More About Nic:
Nic Scholtysik is a designer, serial-expat and belonging researcher using design thinking, positive psychology and coaching to help clients identify and create ways to take work-life-control by answering the question: How do you want to come home to yourself?
Connect:
- Website
- LinkedIn
- Email: [email protected]
And be sure to check out our episode together on her podcast from 2020 here --> https://soundcloud.com/ahomeworthhaving/belonging-series-how-to-break-trough-your-shame-with-kyira-wackett
1 hr 5 min - Shame & The Service Industry: Where We Lost Our Way
Another thought-proviking episode with restaurant owner & chef, Alex Lindenmeyer where we dove deep into the problems facing the service industry and where we, as a culture need to rethink our standards & expectations.
We coveredSome of my favorite takeaways:
- The mind-blowing realization about the role restaurants play in our lives
- The ways we need to rethink money and expense when it comes to the dining experience
- The incredibly embarrassing interaction I had with a restaurant staff member
- The problem with open-ended access for customers leaving internet reviews
- The unrealistic expectations we have of the hospitality industry and where we need to rethink our communal standards
- A key reason the restaurant industry struggles with addiction
- How to shift our relationship with reviews
More About Alex:
Alex Lindenmeyer is the Chef & Co-owner of Short Stack Eatery, a community-driven independently-owned restaurant in the heart of Madison, WI.
Connect:
- Instagram
- Website
42 min - The Importance in Being Selfish
In this episode we are exploring how everything we have internalized about being selfish is wrong and why we need to learn to be more selfish in our lives.
Stay Connected:
Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame." Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. Be sure to visit our website or YouTube channel for more engaging content.
9 min - Shame & Aging: The Meaning We Make
What a joy for Bobbie Harte Shaw to join us on the show. I can't wait to share this episode with you and I know you will be as excited for her to join us again in the future as I am.
We covered:
- Why we decided to talk about aging
- The way aging hits us in the face as women
- How our death discomfort makes aging even more scary
- How a fear of death becomes synonymous with a fear of living
- Enjoyable living does not have to be escapism from living your “life”
- What does it mean to live an integrated and intentional life
- How our values of ourselves change as we age
- The importance of rethinking our cultural norms around aging and expectation
- How to see our aging bodies with curiosity versus shame & judgment
- The need to grieve the finite allowances of time and energy
- The heartache in the transience of life and how we can move through it
More about Bobbie:
Bobbie Harte Shaw has worked as a photographer, a bartender, and a librarian, although for the last two years she's been working on her master's degree as a marriage and family therapist. In her therapy practice, she focuses on relationships, grief, and how we can live more gently with ourselves and each other. She lives in Madison, Wisconsin.
Connect:
- Website
44 min - Shame & Immigration: Finding Yourself When You Feel Lost in Space
Thank you so much to my dear friend Jamsheed Amiri for talking so openly about his experience immigrating to the US from Afghanistan and all he has learned, endured and let go of in his journey to finding himself.
We covered:
- The 2 most surprising things Jamsheed remembers when he immigrated to the US
- The experience of 9/11 through the eyes of an Afghani immigrant child
- How Jamsheed has integrated the different parts and cultural influences to create such a unique worldview
- How Jamsheed worked through the internalized shame from a patriarchal Middle Eastern culture
- How to navigate the shame of other’s ignorance being placed on you
- Navigating Collectivistic vs. Individualistic Influences
- How Jimmy changed his mindset from checking the boxes to exploring the world
- How traveling takes the wind out of the sails of racism, sexism and other -isms
- The gift of human-centered connection
More About Jamsheed:
"My name is Jamsheed Amiri. I work for a software company based out of San Francisco. I was born outside the states in Kabul and grew up in Wisconsin. Being exposed to the culture outside the states has always led me to be passionate about experiencing other cultures and traveling as much as I can. Not only is travel and learning about new culture a huge passion but I am also a huge foodie, foreign relations junkie, history, sports, and exploring nature while listening to audiobooks."
Connect:
- LinkedIn
58 min - Reacting vs. Responding
Who has the power in your life, you or the people around you? The difference can be hard to detect but is entirely rooted in the role our emotions play in interactions, the key point being, are you reacting or responding to the world around you?
Learn More:
- What is shame? Check out my first solo episode on te podcast or this YouTube video I made here
- Learn about the difference btw focusing on the ask versus the response
- Cognitive defusion or the art of detaching yourself from your thoughts
Stay Connected:
Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame." Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. Be sure to visit our website or YouTube channel for more engaging content.
14 min - Shame & Menopause: Breaking the stigma and shame with an aging body
What a powerful perspective shift offered from Clarissa Kristjansson on the way we view our bodies as we age. In this powerful conversation we talked about:
- The cultural norms that have made us afraid of menopause
- The way big pharma has used shame and fear as a means of selling agelessness and a “menopause cure” or treatment
- The idea of health and fitness as a spectrum
- The role of social media as a tool of shame reinforcement
- Shame-driven living versus values-driven living
- The power of a menopause plan
- The need to see life as an iterative process
- The next step in preparing yourself for menopause
- How to be a “rest rebel”
Clarissa is passionate about empowering women to manage their menopause mind, body and soul. She is the host of the incredibly powerful podcast, Thriving Thru Menopause and in her business, is focused on empowering women, raising awareness and cultivating sae spaces for important conversations.
Connect:
- Website
- Instagram
- LinkedIn
Resources Mentioned:
- The Mindful Path to Self Compassion; Christopher Germer
- Mind Over Menopause; Pahla Bowers
- The Upgrade; Louanne Brizendine
- My episode on Clarissa's podcast
56 min - 6 Hard Truths
In this week's solo episode, I am sharing with you 6 hard yet absolutely freeing truths we need to accept in our journey to shame resilience.
Resources:
- Radical acceptance episode --> Spotify or Apple
Stay Connected:
Don't miss out on future episodes of "Untethering Shame." Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. Be sure to visit our website or YouTube channel for more engaging content.
11 min - Shame & The Eneagram: What's Your Type?
What a powerful conversation with Jackie Contessa about the eneagram and not only what it is but how we can use it as a support tool to guide us in our journey to self-awareness. We talk pretty openly about the strengths of the enagram but also the limitations in its application and how to reframe the way we think about assessments in general. Some of my favorite points included:
- The difference between emotional intelligence and self-awareness
- The importance of knowing yourself fully to live your best life
- The role of shame in leading us to believe we are both too much and not enough
- The reality that personality tests are only as powerful as what you do with them
- The honest truth about doing self-awareness work
- The difference between the eneagram from other assessments and what this can unlock for you in your journey to self-awareness
- The effect of trauma on our personality test results
- The reason NOT to do an online personality test
- WHO the eneagram is for and HOW we need to own it’s application in our lives
- The ways the eneagram has been used to reduce people to a subtype and how not to get stuck in that headspace
More About Jackie:
Jackie Contessa, referred to affectionately as, “An Iron Fist in a Velvet Glove,” is passionate beyond belief about making sure that self-awareness is demystified, once and for all. She is a Life Coach and a Personality Coach/Enneagram Coach. She is a dynamic, out-of-the-box thinker and champion for personalities who believe they are limitless. Her passion is simple: HELPING PEOPLE CRAFT THEIR OWN NARRATIVE WITH THE RIGHT LANGUAGE, TOOLS, AND INSIGHT to enjoy their human experience and live their dream life as themselves.
Connect with Jackie:
- Website
- Instagram
Resources:
- The Wisdom of the Eneagram
55 min
About Untethering Shame
From the publisher's feed
New episodes every Sunday!
Shame is the fear of not being good enough or worthy of connection and belonging. This silent plague keeps us tethered to the performance, focused on external validation and approval versus internal rooting. It can disrupt every relationship, thought, and experience if left unchecked. And it's time we say enough. Join licensed mental health therapist, Kyira Wackett, in the quest to build insight and take meaningful and intentional actions as we untether ourselves from shame.
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