Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Using Parasocial Relationships as a Bridge For Real Community Instead of a Replacement For It


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The term ‘parasocial relationship’ was coined in the 1950s by American sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wohl to describe how people connected with TV personalities at the time. 

Today, parasocial relationships have expanded to include celebrities, influencers, athletes – even podcast hosts! Social media in particular has taken parasocial relationships to a new level; it blows my mind how much I know about some people I’ve never met. 

In this episode, I talk all about the parasocial phenomenon: the positive and negative attributes to parasocial relationships, why we reach for them, and how they’re impacting our real (two-sided) connections.

Parasocial relationships aren't inherently good or bad. They're just part of modern reality. They’re not going anywhere. So instead of judging them, maybe it’s time we get intentional about them. How can we use parasocial connections as a bridge to community rather than replacement for it?


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • Stats to consider: 51 percent of Americans have parasocial relationships but only 16 percent actually acknowledge they’re in one
  • How social media changed parasocial relationships, giving us more behind-the-scene access and real-time updates about the people we follow
  • The emotional energy we invest in parasocial relationships and how they can impact real-life friendships, causing relationship distortion
  • How parasocial relationships can fill emotional needs, reduce stigma, provide behavioral modeling, and form communities in marginalized groups


Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 104 with Sharon Walters about how to get less passive and more active on podcasts and social media; Episode 91, about how to stop dreading parties and take charge of your guest experience; Episode 38 and Episode 39, about third places; and Episode 127, which is about calling your friends.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!


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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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