This week, Nikki sits down with HeHe Stewart, a leading childbirth educator and doula based in Boston, Massachusetts, who has supported over 2,000 families in the last decade. HeHe is known for her fierce advocacy around informed consent, reducing unnecessary interventions, and ensuring patient autonomy—all while her husband works as a physician in the ER, giving her a unique insider perspective on the American hospital system.
Together, they unpack the reality of hospital birth culture, why the system isn't designed to support laboring women, and how to advocate for yourself without apology. HeHe shares practical scripts for setting boundaries with providers, why hospital childbirth classes often teach compliance over options, and how to avoid the kind of birth trauma that ripples through your entire postpartum experience. Recorded when HeHe was 37 weeks pregnant with her first baby, this conversation is both deeply personal and powerfully educational.
Why the hospital system is designed for compliance, not support—and the only person happy in the equation is the system itself"You can't make a wrong choice if you don't know all your options"—powerful reframe for releasing mom guilt about past birthsWhy hospital-sponsored childbirth classes teach you to be a "good compliant patient" instead of an informed decision-makerPractical advocacy scripts including "No thanks" as a full sentence and how to request a different provider mid-laborThe ripple effect of birth trauma on mental health, parent-child bonding, and your entire family ecosystemHer own comprehensive birth planning approach: birth plan, C-section plan, transfer plan, and even an ICU planEvidence-based practices vs. hospital policies: eating in labor, breaking waters, suspected big baby inductions, and moreWhy flexibility (not rigidity) is the key to avoiding compounded trauma in birthWays to Connect with HeHe: Instagram | Web