Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Welcome to the Toastmasters: Formal Communities with Brendan Smith


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In this episode, I pull back the curtain on one of my own formal communities: the Toastmasters.

Today’s guest is Brendan Smith, a member of the Toastmasters chapter I was part of. Toastmasters is an international speaking club and educational organization, and for four years, Brendan and I met with the group every Thursday: sometimes online, sometimes in person; sometimes as presenters, sometimes as listeners. 

We all shared a common goal – to become better communicators and speakers – but there was an underlying benefit, too. You get to know people in a formal community. Over time, you develop a feeling of belonging to it.

Since talking with Brendan, I have to admit, I did not renew my Toastmasters membership. I was not able to invest in it the way I felt I should have due to work and health stuff I’ve been going through. And though it’s not a part of my weekly schedule anymore, I have such fond memories of the Toastmasters. It will always be a valuable part of my story and community.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • What a formal community is and the importance of its regularity, from its structure to its shared goals
  • What it was like joining Toastmasters with Brendan early COVID and what our club looked like: the variety of members of different ages, careers, and backgrounds
  • The importance of discomfort, shared experiences, and informal interactions in building a strong formal community
  • What we learn when we’re experiencing things with people – or talking with them “side-by-side” instead of face-to-face


Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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