Probably more than you want to admit.

I've been playing pickleball for about four years. Started when my wife and I moved to a new community — we were looking for something to do and a way to meet people. Neither of us expected it to become a weekly ritual.

But somewhere along the way, I started noticing something I couldn't shake.

The patterns showing up on that court? I'd seen every single one of them in struggling marriages. Not as a loose metaphor. As an almost exact parallel.

The partner who can't stop criticizing every shot — and wonders why the other person stops trying. The player who decides if the game isn't going their way, they won't play at all. The one who takes every shot, carries every point, and then complains their partner doesn't contribute. The "coach" nobody asked for, offering feedback that doesn't land as helpfulness.

Sound like anyone you know?

Here's what got me thinking: pickleball, at its best, is a partnership game. You win together. You cover each other's deficits. You communicate before the moment demands it. You keep playing even when the score isn't going your way.

And at its worst? It looks a lot like the patterns that quietly destroy a marriage.

There's one thing in particular I talk about in this episode that I think will stay with you — something most people never notice on the court or in their relationship. It has to do with the difference between the last shot and the setup that made it inevitable.

Most of us only see the last shot.

A few questions worth sitting with before you listen:

Do you and your spouse actually have a strategy — or are you just reacting to whatever comes at you?

When something goes wrong, are you looking at the last moment, or the conditions you both built leading up to it?

Are you the kind of partner you'd actually want to play with?

That last one might sting a little. It's supposed to.

This week's episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast is a little lighter than usual — but lighter doesn't mean less important. Sometimes the clearest mirror is the one you least expect.

Listen to "What Does Pickleball Have To Do With Marriage?" right here.

And if you're at a point where the game feels broken — no strategy, no direction, and you're not sure your partner is even still playing — the Save The Marriage System is where to start. It's the map for getting back on the court together.