We parents are a proud bunch. It’s natural to shower our children with compliments when they achieve something. But when babies become toddlers, “Good job” often evolves to “You’re so smart” or “What an amazing artist you are”. Too much of this kind of feedback as our child get older, may not help them persist in the face of challenges.

 

Psychotherapist Susan Bordon of Kinspace joins host Jessica Rolph on today’s episode to discuss ways to encourage intrinsic motivation. With a little bit of grit, kids are more motivated to try new things even when it’s hard, and make efforts to pitch in without bribes or rewards.

 

Key Takeaways:

[1:41] What’s wrong with telling your toddler: “You're so smart”?

[3:35] Susan talks about a recent research done by Carol Dweck, a psychologist at Stanford, who studied the effects of praise on grade-schoolers.

[5:25] How does this research apply to babies and toddlers?

[7:35] Why do parents praise children?

[9:20] What does it look like to be a parent who encourages intrinsic motivation?

[11:36] Praising the effort, rather than the outcome, takes practice.

[13:40] Susan talks about how and why not to interfere when a baby or a toddler is trying to achieve a challenging task.

[16:03] How the Montessori approach to demonstrating fits into the equation.

[17:54] Words that can help build self confidence in our children.

[19:35] How to introduce the concept of sharing to children.

[21:10] How early should parents adopt these practices to encourage intrinsic motivation in their children?

[23:40] Jessica reviews the highlights of her conversation with Susan.

 

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