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Does it feel like you are living with a ghost? Your spouse comes home, eats dinner, and sleeps in the same bed, but they aren't really there. If you are dealing with a spouse who is indifferent, numb, or emotionally walled off, you are likely asking yourself: "Can a marriage like this be saved when I'm the only one trying?"

In this video, Coach Nathan from Marriage Helper explains exactly why your spouse has checked out and how to get them to check back in—without forcing them.

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IN THIS VIDEO: You will learn the difference between "Push Behaviors" (which drive your spouse further away) and "Pull Behaviors" (which invite them back in). We break down the psychology of the "emotional callus"—how your spouse became numb over time—and introduce you to the S.M.A.R.T. Contact method to begin dismantling their walls.

KEY CONCEPTS EXPLAINED:

Why has my spouse checked out? Rarely does a spouse check out overnight. Just like playing a guitar builds calluses on fingertips to resist pain, your spouse has built emotional calluses to shield themselves from negative emotions, feeling unheard, or shame. To save the marriage, you must stop pressing on the "bruise" and start changing the environment.

What is SMART Contact? If you want to save your marriage, you need to stop "Push Behaviors" (begging, pleading, forcing relationship talks) and start using SMART Contact.

• S - Stop Push Behaviors: Stop doing things that elicit negative emotions in your spouse (crying, begging, arguing about the relationship).
• M - Manage Business Items: Only discuss necessary logistics (kids, finances, schedule) without letting emotion bleed into the conversation.
• A - Allow for Conversation: Don't go "No Contact" (that is manipulation). Be open to talking if they initiate, but let them lead.
• R - Respond Strongly, Calmly, & Gently: Watch your tone and body language. Be a safe place for them.
• T - Take it One Day at a Time: Consistency and patience are key. You cannot fix years of damage in a few days.

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