Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

What Would You Tell Your 20-Year-Old Self About Friendship? With Arpita Mehta


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If you could go back and advise your 20-year-old self about friendship, what would you say?

Personally, I always had the worst social anxiety hangover, worrying about the things I said or did after hanging out with people. I know now I should have asked my friends about it instead of ruminating and worrying.

This is the underlying theme of today’s episode – lessons we’ve learned about friendship since our 20s – which features Arpita Mehta, a brand strategist and host of The Modern Millennial podcast. She’s also the creator of the Little Brown Diary, a Facebook group of 38,000 South Asian millennial women.

This episode is full of so many gems, and I walked away with so much appreciation for all the work my friends and I have done as we’ve grown and changed. It truly is a never-ending journey.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • Limiting beliefs about friendships and how it’s not something we’re taught – making and maintaining friendship is something you have to learn through life experience
  • Ever-evolving friendships – we won’t necessarily be the same friends we are now ten or twenty years down the line
  • Male friendship groups vs. female friendship groups, and the effort required to keep a group together (hint: we sometimes make it more difficult than it has to be!)
  • The downside of being the “connector” in a group who makes the plans and gets along with everyone (and the importance of getting other people to do this work too)
  • Folding time with friends into things we were going to do anyway – like go shopping or pick up coffee, etc.

Resources & Links:

I can’t suggest The Modern Millennial podcast enough. It’s like hanging out with a friend – a mix of serious conversations, lifestyle, and beauty.

Listen to Episode 42 to hear about the dynamics of friend trios and friend groups.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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