What You Do

If it weren’t for the criminally insane in the state of Florida, I wouldn’t have a show. Today, we offer a twofer from that wonderful land of the lame. It’s summer, which means lots of folks are flying, so we look into the sketchy world of a flight attendant who was found in the first-class lavatory of an airborne plane, completely naked, and dancing to music that wasn’t on. One man thought he saw snakes on his plane and demanded the aircraft land immediately. And you can’t say the word “bomb” on a plane and expect to get away with it. Don’t worry, he didn’t. An interesting fun fact about the octopus, a rousing round of “What Year is it” and maybe we shouldn’t pee while in the shower; just a thought. The heat of summer has brought out the nutty, and I have every bit of it to share, so hop aboard.

First off, we celebrate the return of hotdog eating champion Joey Chestnut, plus another solid round of, “Songs I Hate.” What’s an odd smell you secretly love but can’t explain? Can you imagine a dog park where dogs aren’t allowed to bark? I give you a firm example of the fact that crazy doesn’t always know it’s crazy, and being a self-confessed lover of fun facts, I have a nice one for you today. Our playground welcomes you, and your barking dog, so come on in.

Today we learn what dry begging is, and your next hotel stay might have service robots clean up your mess while you’re in the room. Men are reporting more penis in their pants, all by taking a pill which is intended for a completely different reason. I give you the holy grail of baseball cards, and details of the all-new gold digger test, which the recipient didn’t seem to appreciate. There is a two-million-dollar power ball winner but no one has showed up to claim it, and one of the creepiest weird and wacky stories we’ve had to date. Plus, Rocket Bob has knocked one out of the park, and it was social media that did the trick. All of that packed into one show? Crazy!

Yes, there was a bear in someone’s kitchen, and he was sitting on their stove. He appeared to be rather comfortable there. As shocking as it may sound, the semi colon is becoming extinct. What would we do without it. A man stole a ferret by shoving it down his pants and fleeing the store. I give you the five rudest fan bases of NFL teams, proof that big foot is real, and just because a little kid calls you fat doesn’t mean you can smack him around, especially when he isn’t your kid. I’m tired just from typing all of it. Yes, the sordid details will be yours simply by pushing play.

It’s a beautiful thing when our segment “SONGS YOU HATE” returns to the program, and one of the hated songs will have some people strap on some weapons. You may possibly have a penny worth thousands of dollars and not even know it. We give you the rudest possible days of the year to have your wedding, and people are calling this guy the worst neighbor possible. Plus, what are some things you pretend to enjoy but secretly hate. We tackle the hard news here, so jump in.

Today I’m going to read you something that you weren’t supposed to hear, and I’m going to give you something you weren’t supposed to have. Merry Christmas! A lady got pulled over and there was a raccoon named Chewy in the car and chewy had a meth pipe in his mouth. Most of us are stressed about money and most of us don’t trust our neighbors. Plus, I give you a Cool Stories in Music that focuses on a hit song that seems to have stolen a few key notes from another massive hit song, but no one ever did anything about it. See what you think! It’s another day that gives you another edition of “What You Do.”

The title says it all. Today I will share a story that is one of the most unique experiences of my life, and it was forty years in the making. A seven-year-old boy drove his five-year-old sister to breakfast at McDonalds, and they didn’t even get to eat. And ponder these heavy topics; Is your city sinking, the most popular dog names by state, and a woman quit her job because her chatbot told her to. You can’t make that shit up, so let’s do this… Okay, one more. What’s something you bought as an adult because your parents wouldn’t let you have as a kid? Now you have to listen!

Tom Bergeron shares the wonderful story of him actually calling the three stooges when he was a kid. It seems people will never stop taking a dump where they shouldn’t. We celebrate Bob Seger's 80th birthday and we explain how a lady saved her dog from being eaten by a bear by using a bag of cookies. And make no mistake, we are a teaching podcast; I share two words that if used by you, proves you are lying. By not listening, you only harm yourself.

We have a show within a show, but you’ll have to wait to find out what’s in it. Which traits did you inherit from your father? And, we head to Florida for three different stories of depravity, and I know how you like games, so I give you a rousing round of “What Year Is It.” And last but not least, I will share a radio moment from my broadcast past from 45 years ago. I was 23 at the time and I sounded much better than I do now. Plus, did you hear, Gwyneth Paltrow has started eating cheese again. To listen or not to listen…that is the question.

In the event you are looking for something extremely unusual you can bet money on, I have it for you. I also give you two random moments of Thompson family cuteness that happened on the same day, three thousand miles apart. Clearly, it’s a miracle from God. Did you know you can go to prison for trying to stop a cruise ship? Well, you can, because this guy did just that. And I don’t mean to shock you, but Gracie the cow is still at large, which will be utterly explained. We tackle the hard headlines here so proceed cautiously.