What does estrangement actually look like before it happens? In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp does something she has never done before — she opens up about her own estrangement, inviting her daughter Brianna to join her for a candid, unfiltered conversation about the years that led up to Bri walking away from their family.

This is Part One of a three-part series. Together, Janet and Bri go back to the very beginning — tracing the roots of their disconnect through childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. What they find isn't one dramatic moment or a single unforgivable event. It's something far more familiar: the quiet accumulation of small things. A community obsessed with perfection. A home where honesty was punished the same as a lie. A daughter who learned to keep her guard up and manage everyone else's emotions while her own went unspoken.

This is the story of the start - the foundation. And it probably sounds more like your family than you expect.

The video recording of this episode is also available on YouTube at:

https://www.youtube.com/@Dr.Steinkamp

**If you have questions or would like to talk about this episode, please join us during Office Hours for a live discussion May 24th. Register at:

https://www.whenouradultchildrenwalkaway.com/office-hours 

IN THIS EPISODE

- Why growing up in a community that valued perfection made it nearly impossible for Bri to feel safe being herself.

- How being punished for honesty and lying equally taught Bri that hiding was the only rational choice.

- The moment Janet realizes she didn't just raise a child, she raised someone who was quietly managing everyone else's emotions.

- The college graduation moment that changed everything, the first time Bri felt her mother was proud of her, not just her accomplishments.

- How "helicopter parents who never parked the helicopter" set the stage for what came next.

COMING UP IN THIS SERIES

In Part Two, The Silence, Bri talks about her decision to walk away. And the family went quiet. Janet and Bri will talk about what that silence actually looked like from both sides: what Bri was feeling during those years apart, what Janet was feeling, and what it does to a parent — and a child — to disappear from each other's lives.

In Part Three — The Long Way Back — they'll share what it took to find their way back to each other, and how the relationship they have today is more honest, more joyfu

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.

CONNECT 

Connect directly to schedule coaching with Dr. Steinkamp by emailing [email protected] 

For more information about services and resources, please visit: https://www.WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.com 

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DISCLAIMER

The stories, examples, reflections, and perspectives shared in this podcast are based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are either drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. The intention of this podcast is not to accuse, label, or defame any individual but to provide insight, validation, and support for those navigating the complexities of family estrangement.