If you’ve found yourself disappointed, grieving unmet expectations, or questioning whether your relationship is supposed to feel this tough, you're not alone. It's a struggle that many couples face but rarely talk about openly—what to do when marriage is much harder than you ever expected. 

Plenty of couples walk down the aisle brimming with hope and expectation. After all, we’re conditioned to, right? The advice pours in from all sides before the big day: “Marriage takes work!” “There will be hard times!” But few truly believe the hard times will come for them. Most of us believe we’re the exceptions.

But disappointment is “part of the package” of marriage. It’s not pessimism—it’s reality. So, what DO you do with disappointment? Pretending everything is fine isn’t the answer. Nor is simply waiting for time to heal all wounds. Deliberate action is required to address and heal those emotional wounds. 

Key Takeaways:

1. Expect Drifting—and Intentionally Fight It
2. Don’t Lower Your Expectations. Negotiate Them.
3. When You Marry the “Wrong Person” (Or So You Think)
4. Pressure Reveals, It Doesn’t Destroy

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

My new book, Tried and True, releases in January 2026! Learn more at danache.com/triedandtrue.

For those who want to go deeper, get the free 5-day devotional companion to Tried and True, designed to help struggling couples reflect and reconnect.

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