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When stress shows up in a relationship, it rarely says its name. We dive into the real culprit—nervous system activation—and show how it secretly drives the shutdown–pursuit loop that so many parents know too well.
Through the story of Leah and Justine, two working parents navigating new routines and old expectations, we break down the two common stress strategies: going internal to feel safe or going external to find safety. You’ll hear how those protective moves collide—why silence can feel like abandonment, why pressing for resolution can feel like attack—and how caregiving history informs these patterns. Most importantly, we share a usable plan: opposite action. If you tend to shut down, reach outward and name your inner state. If you tend to pursue, pause and turn inward before you speak. These small, honest moves lower threat, reduce uncertainty, and open the door to empathy and repair.
The takeaway isn’t to eliminate stress; it’s to stop letting stress run the conversation. Change the pattern and you change the relationship—one moment of choice at a time.
If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who wants to turn conflict into connection, and leave a quick rating so more parents can find these tools. Want more support?
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Want some personalized help. Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...
By Dr. Stephen Mitchell and Erin Mitchell, MACP4.7
109109 ratings
Got a question, comment, or just want to drop some encouragement? Send us a text.
When stress shows up in a relationship, it rarely says its name. We dive into the real culprit—nervous system activation—and show how it secretly drives the shutdown–pursuit loop that so many parents know too well.
Through the story of Leah and Justine, two working parents navigating new routines and old expectations, we break down the two common stress strategies: going internal to feel safe or going external to find safety. You’ll hear how those protective moves collide—why silence can feel like abandonment, why pressing for resolution can feel like attack—and how caregiving history informs these patterns. Most importantly, we share a usable plan: opposite action. If you tend to shut down, reach outward and name your inner state. If you tend to pursue, pause and turn inward before you speak. These small, honest moves lower threat, reduce uncertainty, and open the door to empathy and repair.
The takeaway isn’t to eliminate stress; it’s to stop letting stress run the conversation. Change the pattern and you change the relationship—one moment of choice at a time.
If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who wants to turn conflict into connection, and leave a quick rating so more parents can find these tools. Want more support?
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Want some personalized help. Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Take the Couple Communication Quiz! Ever wonder why you and your partner keep having the same fight or just can't seem to understand each other? We've got answers. Take the quiz and find out: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/forms/2149422422
Do you want to learn about the one thing we think every individual and couple needs to know for healthy communication and connection? Check out our course Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/attachment-course-ccfp
Get 15% off our course--Attachment Theory: Why It Matters To Your Relationship: https://couplescounselingforparents.mykajabi.com/offers/MGiJwHLf?coupon_code=ATTACHMENT15
Want some personalized help (individual or couple). Schedule a free coaching consultation here: https://calendly.com/ccfp/meet-the-mitchells
Get your copy or audiobook of Too Tired to Fight today!: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X
Interested in one of Erin's postpartum groups? Let us...

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