The Refined Collective Podcast

Why Being a 'Good Person' Prevents You From Being Better


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“I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.” – Tracee Ellis Ross

 

Jeana Marinelli is my guest this week and we are talking about racism, bias, white privilege, how to develop a growth mindset, and identifying the myth of the ‘good person’ and how it is keeping us stuck. Jeana is a leadership development professional. Jeana is always asking the important questions of ‘why are things the way they are?’ and ‘how can we be better?’

 

The Myth of the ‘Good Person’

  • “It’s this binary notion that is seductive and it’s misleading. You’re either a good person or you’re not. We know that humans are more complex than that.”
  • We chat about how to confront racism within ourselves and understand our blind spots.
  • The growth mindset involves acknowledging that you aren’t a good person but that you are always in the process of bettering yourself.
  • “Women show stronger implicit gender bias against women than men do and it’s because of who gets to tell our stories.”

 

7 Ways to Foster a Growth Mindset

  1. Look at all the media you consume and look for ways to diversify, especially when it comes to race and gender.
  2. Take ownership to learn more about biases and topics that make you most uncomfortable.
  3. Notice your physical queues where your discomfort comes.
  4. Practice deep listening— listening to understand and not to respond.
  5. Thank anyone who points out inequities without seeking a cookie.
  6. Get better at noticing your own mistakes.
  7. Learning to pronounce someone’s name.

 

Books to Read

  • The Person You Mean to Be by Dolly Chugh
  • How to be Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi
  • Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates
  • The Memo by Minda Harts
  • More Than Enough by Elaine Welteroth
  • I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown

 

Resources

  • 10 Tips to Practice Growth Mindset and Notice Bias
  • Take the implicit association test on Harvard website.
  • Keep up with Jeana at Jeannamarinelli.com and on Instagram at @jeanamarinelli

 

Did you know we have a Patreon page? Patreon is a platform that lets listeners financially support their favorite podcasts for as little as $5/mo. (That’s cheaper than a cup of NYC coffee y’all!) Head over to Patreon.com/therefinedcollective to see how you can support the podcast (and get some pretty awesome goodies as a thank you)! Another way you can support the podcast is by sharing with friends! Just copy this link and then paste into the group chat with your besties: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-refined-collective-podcast/id1348034641#episodeGuid=30c48f6a66bb4bfca88b0f6522037407

 

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The Refined Collective PodcastBy Kat Harris

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