Gay Men Going Deeper

Why Gay Men Struggle in Romantic Relationships


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In this episode, Matt speaks with therapist and author Tom Bruett about the struggles many gay men face with romantic relationships. Together they share decades of experience when it comes to understanding the relational challenges faced by gay men. From toxic shame to developmental trauma, they unpack what causes these challenges and how to start healing and empowering ourselves in our relationships. 

If you are someone who struggles in your romantic relationships with intimacy, vulnerability or codependency, this episode was created with you in mind. This is an excellent episode if you're seeking guidance in relationship challenges, but it will also help you feel less alone in struggling with two of the most challenging things about being human; emotions and relationships. 

The questions explored in this episode:

  • Why do gay men struggle in relationships? 
  • What is required for gay men to develop secure attachment?
  • What is the difference between secure attachment and secure relationship? 
  • What does a secure relationship look like? 
  • What are the stages of queer relationship development?
  • Related Link:

    • The Secure Attachment Handbook
    • Today's Guest: Tom Bruett

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          • Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
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          • Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
          • Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com
          • - LEARN WITH US -

            • Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
            • Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
            • Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
            • Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.
            • ...more
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              Gay Men Going DeeperBy Gay Men's Brotherhood

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