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Love doesn’t disappear when chronic pain shows up, but it can get buried under appointments, bills, and long stretches of silence. We open up about the years when pain became the only topic in our home, the ways our roles warped into caregiver and patient, and the slow, deliberate choices that helped us find our way back to closeness while symptoms were still present. This is a story about social safety—how relationships can signal danger or safety—and how changing that signal can reduce neuroplastic pain.

We break down the hidden traps couples fall into: letting pain consume every conversation, organizing the relationship around “fighting the system,” and staying too long in a caregiver role. Then we share what worked. Communication that aims at co‑regulation rather than debate. Partner involvement that supports, not polices. Shared learning about brain-based approaches so skepticism doesn’t sabotage progress. And boundaries that protect the supporter’s identity—because a regulated partner has more to give than a depleted one.

Expect concrete takeaways you can use right away: weekly “no symptom talk” windows to protect connection, small exposure steps that rebuild everyday life together, one‑sentence appreciations that melt shame, and a clear plan to shift roles back from caregiving to companionship. If chronic pain has narrowed your world, this conversation offers a map to widen it again—without waiting for perfect health to start living. If this resonates, subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and tell us: which step will you try this week?

Tanner Murtagh and Anne Hampson are therapists who treat neuroplastic pain and mind-body symptoms. They are also married! In his 20s, Tanner overcame chronic pain and a fibromyalgia diagnosis by learning his symptoms were occurring due to learned brain pathways and nervous system dysregulation. Post-healing, Tanner and Anne have dedicated their lives to developing effective treatment and education for neuroplastic pain and symptoms. Listen and learn how to assess your own chronic pain and symptoms, gain tools to retrain the brain and nervous system, and make gradual changes in your life and health!

The Mind-Body Couple podcast is owned by Pain Psychotherapy Canada Inc. This podcast is produced by Alex Klassen, who is one of the wonderful therapists at our agency in Calgary, Alberta. https://www.painpsychotherapy.ca/

Tanner, Anne, and Alex also run the MBody Community, which is an in-depth online course that provides step-by-step guidance for assessing, treating, and resolving mind-body pain and symptoms. https://www.mbodycommunity.com

Also check out Tanner's YouTube channel for more free education and practices: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-Fl6WaFHnh4ponuexaMbFQ

And follow us for daily education posts on Instagram: @painpsychotherapy

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