Calm AF | Overthinking, Anxiety & Nervous System Regulation

Why Venting Makes You Feel Worse (Not Better)


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"I just needed to get that out."

"I feel better once I verbally process it."

If that's the story you tell yourself, this episode is going to poke holes in it. That habit is venting and it makes you feel worse, not better. At least not in any way that lasts. And it might be the exact thing keeping you stuck.

Here's the thing about "getting it out": when you sit down to vent, you're not releasing anything. You're building a case. You're the lawyer and the jury, gathering evidence that you were right all along that you're not lovable, that money's hard, that bad things always happen to you.

That's confirmation bias, and your brain is wired to go prove whatever you already believe. So every time you tell the story, you pave that pathway a little smoother. That's how a thought becomes a belief. That's how a belief becomes your reality.

In this episode I'll break down why venting feels so good in the moment (spoiler: it's the same relief as caving on the drink or the cookie you swore off), why "I can't help it" is a practiced habit and not a fact, and the one thing to do instead...release the feeling, not the story. If your mind has felt like a hard place to live lately, this one's for you.

No more indulging. Just feel it, and go.

What You'll Take Away
  • Why venting only works for about twenty minutes and what it costs you after
  • What confirmation bias actually is, and how your brain "collects receipts" for beliefs that keep you stuck
  • The difference between feeling a feeling and telling the story (they are not the same thing)
  • Why "I can't help it" is a habit you practiced not a life sentence
  • How to release the pressure without paving the pathway you're trying to change
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Calm AF | Overthinking, Anxiety & Nervous System RegulationBy Kristen Finch

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