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Why Confronting Your Spouse's Limerence Always Backfires (And What to Do Instead)
If you’ve discovered your spouse is in an affair, your first instinct is likely to confront them, expose the truth, and demand they "wake up." But as many heartbroken spouses discover, this almost always pushes them further away. Why?
In today’s video, Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes and Dr. Joe Beam explain the psychological "brain takeover" known as Limerence. When a spouse is in this state, they aren't just making a bad choice—they are experiencing a chemical addiction similar to OCD.
Learn why your efforts to "fix" them are failing and how to shift your strategy to actually save your marriage.
🔍 In this video, we cover:
The Limerence Trap: Why your spouse seems like a completely different person.
The Confrontation Backfire: Why attacking the "Affair Partner" makes your spouse defend them even more.
The Science of Limerence: How dopamine and "Affair Fog" create a fantasy world that logic cannot break.
The 3 Things You Must Stop Doing: If you want any hope of reconciliation, you must stop these three specific behaviors immediately.
The Path to Reconciliation: How to focus on what YOU can control to become the person your spouse eventually wants to come back to.
What is Limerence?
Limerence is a state of mind which results from romantic feelings for another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated. In a marriage, this often looks like "Affair Fog," where the spouse becomes erratic, re-writes marital history, and seeks a "dopamine high" from a new partner.
🆘 Need Help Saving Your Marriage?
If you are in the middle of a marriage crisis, you don't have to do this alone.
Our Workshop: https://bit.ly/3ZhA1bt
Click here to listen to Kimberly's Show: https://apple.co/4kKQuPl
Click here to subscribe to Kimberly's YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free
📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz
🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper
👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelper
Follow our other channels!
📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam
By Dr. Joe Beam & Kimberly Beam Holmes: Experts in Fixing Marriages & Saving Relationships4.7
486486 ratings
Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!
Why Confronting Your Spouse's Limerence Always Backfires (And What to Do Instead)
If you’ve discovered your spouse is in an affair, your first instinct is likely to confront them, expose the truth, and demand they "wake up." But as many heartbroken spouses discover, this almost always pushes them further away. Why?
In today’s video, Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes and Dr. Joe Beam explain the psychological "brain takeover" known as Limerence. When a spouse is in this state, they aren't just making a bad choice—they are experiencing a chemical addiction similar to OCD.
Learn why your efforts to "fix" them are failing and how to shift your strategy to actually save your marriage.
🔍 In this video, we cover:
The Limerence Trap: Why your spouse seems like a completely different person.
The Confrontation Backfire: Why attacking the "Affair Partner" makes your spouse defend them even more.
The Science of Limerence: How dopamine and "Affair Fog" create a fantasy world that logic cannot break.
The 3 Things You Must Stop Doing: If you want any hope of reconciliation, you must stop these three specific behaviors immediately.
The Path to Reconciliation: How to focus on what YOU can control to become the person your spouse eventually wants to come back to.
What is Limerence?
Limerence is a state of mind which results from romantic feelings for another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated. In a marriage, this often looks like "Affair Fog," where the spouse becomes erratic, re-writes marital history, and seeks a "dopamine high" from a new partner.
🆘 Need Help Saving Your Marriage?
If you are in the middle of a marriage crisis, you don't have to do this alone.
Our Workshop: https://bit.ly/3ZhA1bt
Click here to listen to Kimberly's Show: https://apple.co/4kKQuPl
Click here to subscribe to Kimberly's YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free
📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz
🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper
👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelper
Follow our other channels!
📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam

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