If you've ever felt ashamed of a sexual fantasy, I want you to know that having one isn't a sign that something is wrong with you — it's actually a sign of a healthy sex life. Fantasies can reveal what you truly crave, deepen your connection with a partner, and completely transform your relationship with your own desire. But most of us were never taught how to think about them, let alone talk about them out loud.

In this episode, I'm breaking down what your fantasies actually mean, why you don't need to act on all of them, and exactly how to bring one up with a partner without it feeling terrifying.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What the most common fantasies reveal about your psychological needs — and why the ones that embarrass you the most are usually the most telling

• My step-by-step framework for communicating a fantasy to a partner (even if you've never done it before and have no idea where to start)

• What to do if you can't seem to fantasize at all — including why a history of trauma or a conservative upbringing can shut down your erotic imagination, and how to gently rebuild it

More Dr. Emily: 

• Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).5

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! 

• Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides.

• The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

• Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website

• Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube

• Let’s text: Sign up here

• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

1:47 - The Most Common Fantasies (Group Sex, BDSM, Voyeurism & More)

3:50 - Listener Fantasy List: What YOU Shared on Instagram

6:12 - How to Bring Up a Fantasy to Your Partner (The Who, What, Where, When, Why Method)

8:24 - Fantasy vs. Fetish: What's the Difference?

9:09 - Caller Update: Tracy's Throuple Story

15:44 - "Is It Wrong to Fantasize About Someone Else While in a Relationship?"

17:33 - How to Find a Couple for a Threesome

20:32 - Latex Fetish & Pegging: How to Get Your Partner on Board

24:12 - How to Make the First Move Without Falling into the Friend Zone

28:26 - Foot Fetishes 101: How to Blow His Mind

31:03 - When Trauma Blocks Your Fantasy Life

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices