Found at 40

Why Your Middle Schooler Feels So Hard Right Now (And How to Stay Close)


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Middle school can feel like emotional whiplash—one minute your kid wants you close, the next you’re getting an eye roll and attitude that makes you wonder, "What is going on?" In this episode, Chrissi sits down with Instagram’s favorite middle school parent coach Bridget KerMorris to unpack what’s really happening beneath the mood swings, disrespect, and constant tech tension—and how parents can stay steady without becoming permissive. You’ll hear why the parent-child relationship is one of the most protective factors in the tween/teen years, plus a practical framework for responding with calm authority (even when you’re triggered). If you’re parenting middle schoolers—especially if big feelings, ADHD, or neurodivergence are part of the picture—this conversation will help you feel more connected, more confident, and less like you’re living inside a daily power struggle.


(1:05) 🎙️ Meet Bridget KerMorris: attorney, therapist + parent coach + mom of seven raising middle schoolers in real time
(3:20) 😬 Why parents dread middle school—and how to turn down the heat at home
(6:10) 🧠 The most protective factor for tweens + teens: the parent-child relationship (and why it’s not “soft”)
(8:05) 🧭 Authority vs. authoritarian: how to hold boundaries without constant power struggles
(10:45) 🧩 Trauma + meaning-making: why what you say (or don’t say) after hard moments matters
(12:40) 📱 Tech rules, phones, Snapchat: how to set limits without your kid hearing “I don’t trust you”
(14:20) 🛑 Pillar 1: The Update Method: how to pause when you’re triggered so you can respond (not react)
(18:00) 🤝 Pillar 2: Accessible, Responsive, Engaged—what secure attachment looks like in middle school
(23:55) 🍉 The “little things” that build connection fast (and why kids never forget them)
(25:30) 🔁 Pillar 3: Repair: teaching accountability + relationship skills after conflict
(27:10) 💡 Pillar 4: Curious relational parenting: helping kids understand their inner world (before adulthood)
(30:40) 🧠 Parenting neurodivergent middle schoolers: rejection sensitivity, emotional dysregulation, and what helps
(37:10) 🌪️ When your kid is constantly moody: how to get back to neutral ground as a family
(42:10) 🧱 Containment + kindness: addressing eye rolls & disrespect without becoming permissive
(48:15) 🗂️ Free guide + Stay Close cards: daily conversation prompts that help your tween open up
(51:45) 🎶 Fun wrap: concerts, celeb look-alike, and what Bridget has “found” in her forties

Follow Bridget on Instagram at @bridget.parentcoach and get your free guide here: 50 Ways I’m Staying Closer to My Middle Schooler

✨ Hit follow, send this episode to your group chat, and leave a glowing review

📱 Check out @foundat40podcast on Instagram for extras, outtakes, and mild oversharing

🎙️ Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify

📺 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Foundat40


Keywords: Parenting middle schoolers, middle school parenting tips, how to stay connected to your tween, tween mood swings, handling disrespect from tweens, how to respond when your child is rude, connection-based parenting, attachment-focused parenting, building secure attachment with teens, repairing after a parent-child conflict, setting boundaries with tweens, screen time limits for middle schoolers, phone boundaries for tweens and teens, parenting a neurodivergent child (ADHD/autism), parenting strategies for tweens and teens.

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Found at 40By Chrissi Harris

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