Wine, Weed, Weird!

We've got a special Christmas surprise for the Cephalopods: Teddy is co-hosting this week!!! Of course, we all miss Ky's hot takes, but you can see her hot legs instead in Company XIV's Nutcracker Rouge!!! We'll be sure to have a special segment to hear her thoughts on this topic on our next episode, In the meantime, enjoy Teddy playing with a puppy, Emily flexing on how much more weird shit she's processed the last five years, immune system comparisons, and impromptu sermons. It's a weird one, and is it even about Christmas? Or is it about something...more? "For I do speak of my own accord..." -Jesus

Emily, Ky, and Garfield are all back this week as we jump forward a holiday right into Christmas Season!!! Why in the hell Did Jon celebrate Christmas with his family, but not Thanksgiving? Does this mean he and Liz are over? Explore these questions, plus: Garfield. Hedonist? Cynic? Anti-work icon? And, themes of grief and sexuality in 23-minute children's holiday specials. We also write two alternative childrens' Christmas books. Truly renaissance women!

Happy Thanksgiving, Cephelopods! And you are about to be thankful as fuck because Emily and Ky are debuting a brand new best friend of the Pod: Garfield!!! How have we slept on this guy for five seasons? Hello?? He is a cat?? Also the seemingly innocuous comic about a food-loving cat and his socially awkward owner is actually so weird??? What do you mean the writer admitted Jon Arbuckle might be a murderer? What happens when we just take Garfield out of the picture? What's weirder than a Thanksgiving feast first date? Why are we rewarding coercion in a kids' show? All this PLUS an important Thanksgiving safety PSA? Wow. Go leave us a five star review and a tip on buymeacoffee.com right now!

Fifty-five years ago this very month, The Highway Commission (Devision? Whatever) of the State of Oregon had a really, really bad idea. An idea that never should have made it out of the room, but somehow, it did. And thank God, a reporter and a news crew got down there to capture the calamity in real time, and then the internet was invented, and youtube, and now we can all watch this whenever we want. And trust us, you want. Once thought to be the stuff of urban legend, we now know that, yes, they blew up a fucking whale. Emily also tries a strange snack, more nostalgic snacks are discussed, and there's a cat. Enjoy!

Legend has it Emily and Ky are on the beach to this day...just two little frozen grapes in their no longer seasonally appropriate bikinis, trying to understand the alleged log flume ride. If you like amusement park background noise and the ocean as ASMR, you're going to love this episode, which starts as a tender exploration of Emily and Ky's baggage both silly, and vulnerable, and then goes off the rails pretty quickly into post-sunset Coney Island reflection. Does Ky pee during recording? Is Emily a woman of leisure? Would the people of r/hygiene come after both of them with pitchforks and torches? All will be revealed!

Maybe Emily and Ky's baggage is the friends they made along the way. Not just the people I’ll-advisedly assigning them jobs at the beach, but arrange men buying shots as bathroom passes, too. That sounds nice, but let’s be real: their baggage is their truly stunning inability to stay on topic for more than five seconds at a time to the extent that sober Emily had to pop in post to explain how the show actually works. Beach days are behind us, but at least you can watch Jerry Springer explain the most normal facts about women as deal breakers without a hint of irony!

Join Emily and Ky as they spitball down memory lane and explain all the reasons why they are canceled. There’s many great reasons to choose a costume: comfort, sluttiness, the desire to hide your face, a clever concept, but if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that laziness can lead to cultural appropriation, so make sure you phone it in with care! Happy Halloween, Cephalohaunts!

When you see claymation/stop motion animation Christmas characters, you know it's going to be good, and weird, and now we can all acknowledge the same truth for Halloween! Join Emily and Ky for a group project full of slackers, the massive plot twist that wasn't, unhinged sandwich oppinions, and songs that are not good, but kind of bangers at the same time. Who's the giant monkey? Why does everyone want the scientist's secrets? Why is everyone sharing rooms in a giant castle? What, actually, is going on at almost any point in this film? Your hosts are not going to find out.

Remember Season 1? We were so innocent, so fresh, so...exactly the same, lol. Do the time warp again with us this Spooky Season as we hearken back to an important episode from 2021! Why? Because people on the tiktok have just now figured out the monster mash may be something more exciting than a new dance craze. We'll be back with a brand new episode next week! Enjoy!

What is the unknown? It could be many things, but let’s just remind you that fingers are cancelled!!! Our silent horror commentary spooky season event continues this year, a mere three weeks after our annual beach day! Pull up that movie, and count down with us to half baked predictions, melodramatic reactions, and dubious insights combed from the Internet. It’s a shorter movie, so we fit it all in one week, leaving us so much October to enjoy more spooky silliness! You’re welcome, Cephelohaunts!