It’s easy to identify what kills a relationship, but much harder to know what ingredients you need to nurture a healthy relationship. John, Lynn, and Austin explain and discuss the 4 Relationship Builders:

1. Practice a gentle start up, instead of criticism.

2. Build a culture of appreciation, instead of contempt.

3. Take ownership of your part in a conflict, instead of getting defensive.

4. Stay engaged, instead of stonewalling.

These aren’t pie in the sky sentiments, but instead are solidly researched and biblically based practices that have proven to build relationships.

Listen in if you want to begin, and continue, the hard but worthwhile work of building your relationships. When you do, over time you’ll see the fruit of creating Jesus’ kingdom here on earth as he calls us to be kind and tender-hearted towards each other.

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Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling. These are bad enough on their own, but mix them together and you have a cocktail that will kill any relationship. 

This episode is simple: John, Lynn, and Austin give you a mirror to look in and ask yourself, “where are these killers showing up in my relationships?” Afterwards you’ll be able to name, identify, and describe them, which is the first step to change. 

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

If bitterness stops the clock of your life, then forgiveness starts it up again. But what is forgiveness, and what does this mean for you?

John, Shay and Austin discuss:

1. What forgiveness is NOT

2. What forgiveness IS

3. The hard realities of forgiveness

4. The costs and benefits of forgiveness

Entering a process of forgiveness is never easy, but this discussion will replace flimsy imitations of forgiveness with a picture of the real thing. Learning these principles will normalize how hard it is to forgive, while explaining how freeing it can be.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

“Bitterness stops the clock of your life.”

Do you know a bitter person? If you do then you’ve seen and felt how they are stuck in their anger, resentment, and inability to move beyond hurts and slights from their past. 

This person couldn’t be you, could it?

Listen in as John, Austin, and Shay discuss:

- What bitterness is: Hardened, settled anger and resentment

- Where it shows up: In your relationships with others and with God

- The causes of bitterness: Hurtful relational circumstances AND powerful spiritual forces

- The problems it causes: Blinds, Baits, Burdens, Bleeds over, and Belittles God’s grace

If you feel stuck in bitterness and you want to restart the clock of your life, this is the episode for you.

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If you want to manage a toxic relationship you’re going to need to break some rules, three in particular:

1. Wait for things to get better

2. Try to change the other person

3. Love people unconditionally

If you don’t break these rules then you won’t mature and grow in character, you’ll blame others for things that are your responsibility, you will stay reactive instead of proactive, or you’ll jump from one toxic relationship to another.

What you’ll need to do instead is face reality and enter into a growth process, work on changing yourself, and love with limits, boundaries, and consequences.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Who you surround yourself with shapes who you will become. If you want to avoid becoming a toxic person in a hurtful relationship, you’ll want to listen as John and Lynn define and explain the 5 symptoms of toxic relationships:

- Harmful words

- Selfish ambition/pride

- Envy

- Manipulation

- Deceit

When you can recognize these 5 symptoms, not only will you be able to avoid them in your relationships, with God’s help you can prevent them in yourself. 

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Broken trust hurts, but it can be rebuilt. Lynn, Shay, and Austin walk through 5 concrete steps to take when you’ve had trust broken in a relationship: 

T - Take a step back

R - Reflect on who you’re dealing with

U - Understand the impact

S - Set boundaries

T - Test over time

If these steps seem daunting, then you’re in good company because most of us didn’t have this modeled when we were growing up. But it’s never too late to learn something new.

Practicing and implementing these 5 steps in your life will slowly but surely add marbles back into your relational jar of trust.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.

Trust is the energy that creates and maintains healthy relationships. Without it, your relationships cannot thrive or survive. 

Lynn, Shay, and Austin dig deeper into what trust actually is, how it’s built and broken, and the damage broken trust causes in friendships, marriages, jobs and families.

If you’re hurting because of broken trust, this episode will normalize your pain and give perspective and explanations as to why this feels so gut-wrenching. 

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You want to be at peace with everyone, but can every conflict be resolved? Maybe not, but there are 4 key commitments you can make to help you manage conflict in your life.

John and Shay explain these 4 commitments and how to apply them in practical ways:

1. Take ownership

2. Practice discernment

3. Set boundaries

4. Persevere

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Why are you in conflict? It’s really simple: you want something. And when you don't get what you want, or your desires are at odds with someone else's, you're in conflict before you know it. 

John and Austin discuss 4 questions you need to answer if you want to get to the root conflict in your life:

1. What type of person are you in conflict with? Figuring this out will determine how you approach resolution, or if resolution is even possible. 

2. What is this conflict about? Dig below the surface to the deeper issue. 

3. How are you engaging in this conflict? Most likely you're either pursuing, attacking or triangulating.

4. How is this conflict impacting you? Being aware of the physiological, emotional and spiritual elements of conflict will enable you to manage it.

If you find this episode helpful, please text this episode to a friend, leave us a review, and email us with any topics you’d like to hear us discuss.