With You in the Weeds: Where Faith Meets Mental Health

Do you know what it actually takes to get to heaven? In this episode of With You in the Weeds, Pastor Shay Roush sits with one of the most important questions you will ever face: how do you spend eternity with God? And more importantly, have you gotten the answer wrong?

Using Jesus' parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18, Shay unpacks why the path to God isn’t secured by achievement, but by humility. This is a story that flips our instincts upside down, because the one who goes home right with God isn't the one who had his act together. It's the one who showed up with nothing.

This is why the good news of the gospel has to start with the bad news — that none of us can earn our way into eternity with God. In fact, it is a spiritually dangerous place to stand before God with your arms full of your own goodness. Tim Keller's pointed reminder is sobering: “all you need to get to heaven is nothing, but very few people have it.”

Heaven isn't a reward for the worthy and righteous. It's a gift for the worst of sinners who know how far they’ve fallen short.

Whether this is a question you’ve wrestled with or never considered, this episode is hopeful and ends with an invitation: Come to Jesus with empty arms and he will give you everything you need to spend eternity with God.

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Is sadness the enemy of healing or the path to it? In this episode of our How to Handle Life series, John makes a case for sadness as one of the most powerful, underused tools for navigating the difficulties of life. Sadness is like a river that will take you somewhere healthy if you’re willing to step into troubled waters and not fight against it.

At the heart of the episode is a simple but counterintuitive idea: sadness is compassion turned inward. When we choose to connect with the part of ourselves that's hurting — instead of fighting, numbing, or shutting down — something shifts. 

That connection brings comfort, and comfort actually brings strength. Just as Jesus was a man of sorrows and modeled what it means to enter grief fully rather than avoid it, Psalm 30:5 promises that joy will follow weeping. Not as a feeling, but as a product of relational connection and knowing you're not alone.

Whether you're letting go of a lifelong dream, facing conflict with your spouse, at war with your own emotions, or spiritually dry and discouraged, the invitation is the same: start small, name the loss, and let sadness do what it was designed to do.

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When news breaks that a pastor or church leader has fallen into serious sin, the ripple effects travel far beyond the individual. People who once felt spiritually safe may suddenly feel confused, angry, or grieved. Questions surface quickly: How could this happen? Did I miss the warning signs? What does this mean for my faith?

In this thoughtful installment of our ongoing series, How to Handle Life, Lynn Roush, LPC, and Shay Roush, M.Div., discuss the responsibilities of pastoral ministry, the complicated dynamics that many pastors face as they gain success and notoriety, and how Christian leaders can benefit from personal therapy and soul work. 

They’ll also talk about 5 ways to respond when your pastor fails, including acknowledging your feelings and seeking support, exercising discernment about who you follow, and remembering that God’s work through the church cannot be thwarted even through imperfect people.

Lynn brings the unique perspective of being both a pastor’s daughter and a pastor’s wife, along with insights from her counseling research on the “splitting” that can happen when leaders present a façade of spirituality while concealing unhealed pain and ongoing sin. Shay, having served in Christian ministry for more than 30 years, speaks from the pastor’s side of the table, sharing openly about the real challenges of life and leadership in ministry.

If you’ve ever wrestled with the fact that spiritual leaders are capable of great good but also serious failure, you’ll want to listen in as Lynn and Shay acknowledge the pain of pastoral failure while helping you re-center your faith on Christ.

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Is singleness a gift or a trial? Should I keep asking God to give me a significant other, or am I not resting in him by continually asking? If you’re single, it’s likely that you’ve wrestled with questions like these. If you’re not single, it’s easy to overlook the struggles of those who are. 

Singleness is one of those topics that comes loaded with opinions. Culture treats it like a temporary problem to overcome, the church sometimes treats it like a waiting room for marriage, and your own thoughts can bounce back and forth between hope and frustration.

In this compassionate episode of our ongoing series, How to Handle Life, Austin Conner takes a different approach. Instead of asking how to get out of singleness, he’ll talk about how to navigate it well right where you are. He’ll be sharing 5 practical ways to approach singleness with honesty, courage, and faith.

Before you assume this conversation only applies if you’re currently single, don’t tune out just yet. Many people move in and out of seasons of singleness over the course of their lives. As you listen, you’ll get perspective and wisdom that will help you hold the multi-faceted experience of being single while simultaneously loving, following, and trusting Jesus. 

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Have you ever lost someone who is still alive?

Estrangement is one of the most painful and misunderstood experiences in family life, yet it's far more common than most people realize. In this episode of our How to Handle Life series, Lynn Roush, LPC walks through what estrangement actually is, why it happens, and how it impacts a family on multiple levels. Whether you've made the hard decision to step away from a relationship or you've been cut off by someone you love, your pain and grief are real and make sense.

Lynn shares five hard but essential truths for anyone navigating estrangement, including why reconciliation isn't guaranteed, how to write a letter of amends, and insight about the ripple effects of estrangement that often reach far beyond just two people. These truths aren't comfortable, but accepting them is often the first step toward real relief, like cleaning out a wound so it can actually heal.

Most importantly, this episode holds out genuine hope: healing and growth are possible for you even if the relationship is never restored. Forgiveness, self-reflection, and leaning into safe relationships can move you from haunted regret to scarred-over wisdom. 

If you’re carrying the weight of an estranged relationship, this episode is for you.

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Have you ever felt angry with God… and then immediately felt guilty for even thinking that way? Most of us have internalized the idea that anger is bad—and that feeling angry with God is really bad!

But what if the very thing you’re trying to hide is actually an invitation?

In this meaningful episode of our ongoing series, How to Handle Life, John Tinnin talks about what it means to feel anger toward God and why bringing that anger into the light might be one of the most transformative steps in your spiritual life.

You’ll discover why it’s okay to be angry, the way that anger protests and protects, what anger can teach you about your soul, and how to use lament to communicate your anger to God in a healthy way as prescribed in Scripture. 

If you need a reframe of how to engage your anger honestly with God so you can draw closer to him, then this conversation is for you.

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Do you believe that discovering God's "perfect" plan for your life is about waiting for a sign in the sky? Do you worry that you will make the wrong decision and miss out on God’s will for your life?

As we continue in our How to Handle Life series, Pastor Shay Roush tackles one of the most common Christian questions: How do I know God's will for my life? Our modern life bombards us with endless choices (career, marriage, major life moves), often leaving us fearful we will miss God's "perfect" path. But over-analyzing every detail and possible option can keep us paralyzed with anxiety or regret.

Shay breaks down three biblical categories of God's will to help you understand what the Bible says about knowing God’s will: 

The truth is that God does indeed have a plan, but he doesn't expect us to discover a hidden blueprint. Instead, he calls us to live by wisdom that is found through his revealed Word and in an ongoing relationship with him, not endless searching with a fear of missing out.

This episode offers practical steps you can take such as learning general biblical principles, getting wise counsel, praying for guidance, and then making a decision in faith. You will gain freedom from decision-making anxiety and walk away confident to make choices as you learn to trust him with your life. 

Recommended Resource:

Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung

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Forgiving someone doesn’t mean forgetting, pretending it’s not a big deal, or going back to how things were, but it can bring freedom from the heavy weight of resentment and bitterness.

In this episode of With You in the Weeds, Austin Conner tackles one of life’s hardest commands: forgiving someone who has hurt you. Jesus’ words from the Lord’s Prayer: “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us” sounds good, but it can feel impossible in the face of a painful offense. Just like an infected wound needs to be cleaned out in order to heal, forgiveness is the way our hurts can be purged so that real healing can begin.

Austin explains what forgiveness is not: forgetting the offense, minimizing the hurt, or forcing the relationship back to “normal”. He then walks through a practical four-step process: 

Keep in mind that forgiveness isn’t our natural, human response to being hurt. In order to forgive, we will need to be empowered by God’s grace and strength, as well as cultivate a deep trust that one day he will bring justice to all wrongs done to you. The result? Relief from bitterness, the ability to move forward, and a visible sign of God’s kingdom breaking into everyday life.

The process of forgiveness is much easier said than done, which is why we want to encourage and equip you to enter into a process of forgiveness that leads to freedom and hope, one step at a time. 

Want to learn more? Here are more resources on the topic of forgiveness:

The Roots of Bitterness

Managing the Weeds of Forgiveness

Bold Love by Dan Allender

When You’ve Been Wronged: Moving From Bitterness to Forgiveness by Pastor Erwin Lutzer

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When you find yourself exhausted even after resting, irritable for no clear reason, or fixated on ways you can numb your feelings, your body may be carrying more stress than you realize.

In this empathetic and insightful episode of our newest series, How to Handle Life, Lynn takes a look at the ways chronic stress can lead to burnout, cynicism, numbness, or simply feeling disconnected from yourself and from God.

She’ll share 3 intentional shifts you can make right now, regardless of whether your circumstances change, so you can move out of survival mode and into a more grounded, present, and renewed way of living.

If life feels like too much right now, this episode will help you understand what stress is doing inside your body and how to respond with wisdom and grace.

Download our FREE Feeling Word List to help you handle stress.

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What do you do when someone keeps hurting you—and shows no signs of stopping? Is "being nice" always the Christian response, or does real love sometimes require a backbone?

As we move through our How to Handle Life series, this episode condenses a lifetime of wisdom into 30 minutes! John Tinnin dives into one of life's toughest challenges: dealing with truly difficult, unrepentant people. You may not know that God responds differently with repentant (soft-hearted, teachable) and unrepentant (hard-hearted, blame-shifting) individuals.

The wisdom of Scripture teaches us to do the same, but too often, Christians default to endless patience and "niceness.” John explains how Jesus modeled kindness with strength, sometimes saying a firm "no" and exposing hurtful behavior which provides the perfect example of how we are to engage with others in love and truth.

The core of the episode offers practical "field tactics" to protect yourself while inviting a difficult person to change from being unrepentant to repentant: 

This episode will help you realize that limits and consequences are loving: They protect the hurt person, they get the offender's attention like a "speed bump," and create conditions for genuine change. As you listen, you will learn how to deal with difficult people by strategically engaging them with clarity and strength.