Work Life Play with Aaron McHugh

Today I've been thinking about developing an everyday muscle. I've been 600 days and counting now in this life experiment. So it feels like it's time to share it with you. So I've always wanted to be more consistent. Like, I would call like stone colds just steady. The person who like, skips all of the fussing and excuses, mini-dramas for why I do or don't do things consistently. And the truth is I've always probably found ways to overcome a lack of consistency by just, you know, fits and starts, or like, talent, you know, I could like delay, you know, if it's a deadline or whatever it may be. In that spirit, I've always wanted to be the guy who would just show up, do the work and kind of enough said. Instead, I've been the guy in the past with lengthy explanations mostly to myself.

So at the beginning of the pandemic, I decided to run a life experiment and it was inspired by two things I wanna tell you about. And that's my son and his now six years of sobriety and the work of James Clear, he wrote a book called "Atomic Habits". And then just a third input as well I also had a friend doing this exact same experiment that he had already completed one year. So those trio inputs kind of came together.

James Clear book was really helpful it's this idea of starting with tiny habits. How do you embed and adopt new habits in your life? Lots of books out there on habits, this one just plain and simply culminated in time and attention and I found it incredibly helpful. Here are a couple of punchlines from his book that I found really incredibly useful in this.

• How do we grow an everyday muscle is become 1% better over time, not 10%, 5%.
• Make the new habit so small you can't fail. Never miss twice.
• And then root your new habit or practice in an identity statement.

My new habit, my tiny practice, my everyday muscle is about running. I started running one mile a day and it was rooted in I want to be an everyday runner. Inspiration number two, my son had just crossed over five years sober at the time, I believe. My wife had gone through and totaled up the number of days he had not in his community they call it drugging and drinking. He had not drugged and drank for over 2000 days. And I was reflecting on that like, oh my gosh, I couldn't think of anything I've done for 15 days, 200 days, let alone 2000 every single day without fail.

I was even thinking about brushing my teeth. Do I actually brush my teeth every single day? No. There's some Saturdays and Sundays where I'm home, where I'm like, yeah, I never brushed my teeth today.

So this idea of how might I become more like my son with who has this strength of sobriety in his life around this everyday muscle? And how might I embed that in my life as a person without excuse, but just moves forward with purpose and action and choice to develop this interior strength. So this big idea was what if without fail, I just start a new practice every day. I'll run one mile a day. And in your case, insert whatever new habit you might consider. And for me, the one mile, the reason it was important was it's not two, it's not six, many days I run longer than a mile. But just the every day of get up, move my body, get going, and log it.

I think I'm 603, 604 days in my practice. And have had that do some modifications here and there. If I'm in the backcountry with a backpack, you know, as long as it's three miles or longer, I count that. I don't actually physically have to run, but when they, my family and I were sick a year ago, we all, I made sure I got out, even if it was pathetically short.

We've mixed it up with some, what do we call? Our chugging run one evening with some buddies, it was drink a beer run a mile on repeat, just to make it fun. And in the end, what I've found is now one mile I've become 1% better over time by starting small. I have never missed twice. I have a little habit tracker app.

I'll put in the show notes for how to do that. And there's a component around accountability That's really important as well. And then my identity now includes becoming an everyday runner and that I am a runner. I am consistent. Which then also helps feed not only my physical body, but it also is a jumping-off point for other places in my life of like, look, well, I started that new thing. I have that everyday muscle in that way. What if I broke something down so small, you can't fail. Turn it into never miss twice and adopt a new practice that's rooted in something I want to become. Someone I want to become.

So friends, developing an everyday muscle, if that's for you, if you have a curiosity. My wife is some 580 days in on her own experiment of walking every day for 6 minutes. So it doesn't have to be revolutionary. Yeah, whatever it may be. There's been lots of people that have adopted these practices. They're very contagious. Once you start in your respective communities, outlining what you're up to. You can do this. It's worth it.

Keep going,

Aaron

Friends, I've been thinking about writing it down by hand instead. In this world of digital texts, instant messages, DMs, emails, screenshots, emojis, and all kinds of other stuff that I don't even know what they are. What if we took out a piece of paper, a pen, tear out a page in a magazine. Locate your favorite stationery, go to a card store and buy a card. And what if you...I use maps all the time. I use maps from wilderness places I've been, national parks that I visit, I keep all those maps and use them, and hand write down your thoughts, your appreciations, your birthday wishes, and goodbyes.

Years ago, a friend of ours shared his homemade birthday card with me and he said, I make all of my cards. I remember just thinking, what? You do what? Like, that's cool. As a result, I don't know that I've actually purchased a birthday card since. Even started, I bought this little digital printer where it prints your photos from your phone in little like sticker size, little like two by twos with a sticky back. So I've even started using those to hand-make cards. And, specifically birthday cards just recently for our family members all in October.

So I went through and last month just scribe notes and went through writing letters on these topographic maps to a friend of ours in a trauma program in recovery. And what I found is these handwritten words, they create physical artifacts to reside in our lives. That the connection in this always-on, always programmed world, that we live in, we write it down by hand, serves as a reminder of being loved, being seen for who we are, how we want to be in the world, and enabling for others to feel seen as well. Friends, live bravely and write it down, write it by hand to bring more life with others. You can do this.

Keep going,

Aaron

Friends, I've been thinking, what can you not not do? Parker Palmer writes, "Vocation at its deepest level. This is something I can't not do, for reasons I'm unable to explain to anyone else, and don't fully understand myself, that that are nonetheless compelling." I love that. Such a generous, expansive invitation for us to consider, what can we not do? I can't help myself.

What's the thing you find yourself thinking, exploring, without prompt or obligation? A friend of mine recently told me that he cannot not photograph bacteria. Like what? Come again. He was telling me about how he, my friend Rob, he discovered these galaxies in this like do it yourself home petri dishes. And he was literally like unable to stop himself. So he documented his work in a children's book for his daughter. How fantastic is that? So where are we compelled for reasons we do not understand even to ourself? What I love about this is that we get absolved of the necessity to explain. We don't need to attempt to explain why it's sensible or it's not. Why we're qualified or we should. What we're gonna do about it or not. We just get thrust into feeling compelled and paying attention to what is compelling us forward.

When I apply this question for myself, I'm compelled for reasons I do not fully understand and cannot explain a good reason for helping humans thrive. Recharging my mind and soul in wilderness and wild places to go first, down unknown paths to extract and excavate my interior life onto pen, paper, and audio and share it here with you, which is perplexing at times. And to make maps, like a cartographer, documenting the typography, edges of the frontier, and business of the heart in spiritual life with God.

I want to close with one more quote from Frederick Buechner, "When we think of these things that compel us, we're unable to explain to ourselves, what if the place that God calls us, you, is to the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet? So what is it that you cannot do? You can't help yourself from being curious about? And might it be in that place of deep gladness, it actually meets a world with deep hunger." Friends, this is good for you. This is good for us.

Let's keep going,

Aaron

Friends, I've been thinking about the words of Saint Paul. He wrote this simple couple sentences that I've been meditating on for the last year and revisiting. He writes, "Make a careful exploration, make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life." I found that, what is that? Four sentences? Five sentences? Incredibly disruptive, incredibly expansive, incredibly life-giving. And what I found is, even the first few lines, words, make a careful exploration of who you are.

Wow, careful, explore. This question of, "Well, who am I? Like, who am I made to be?" I believe we are intimately designed and created and so in that, we don't come with a operator's manual. It's like when you buy a new TV or computer, you get the user guide. Well, there isn't one specifically for each one of us, we have to discover and make a careful exploration of how we operate when we're at our best, who we are, how we're uniquely created and designed, how our life has formed us, how our experiences have formed us and the choices that we've made. And that we are continuing to make of who we are and who we want to be and how we operate in the world.

I find that to be a very poignant choice is to be intentional about those things or pretend that they're just happy accidents. And the work you've been given and sink yourself into that. I find so interesting that work is so much of our context in what we do, whether it's folding laundry, cutting grass, as a math teacher, as a physician, as a mom, as a CPA, as a bookkeeper, a retail checkout person in the sporting goods section.

What is the work that we've been given today? The work that's in front of us today. The work as a nurse, the work as a consultant, the work as a salesperson, the work as a bank teller, the work as a mom. What is the work that's been given to us today? And sink yourself into that. So don't go left or right. Don't go searching. Don't go wandering, just sink yourself fully into today. And then in case you forget, don't be impressed with yourself. Advice from St. Paul. Don't think your shit don't stink. I have a buddy of mine that I think of. We talk about often about not taking the line, as you progress in your career often you end up with a short line, oh, this friend of mine had told this story to me of when he became a senior executive, then he was at a cocktail party and he was waiting in the long line. And then this woman came up to him and said, "Oh, Mr. so-and-so, that's not the line for executives come with me." And we were talking about how easy it is to slowly become impressed with yourself, to slowly think you're a big deal, to slowly believe you're better than others.

Paul continues, "And don't compare yourself with others." I find that incredibly helpful. I play that game so often in my head, comparing myself with other people. And it's entirely unfruitful because each of us must take responsibility for doing the creative best we can with our own life. So what does it look like to take responsibility for doing the creative best we can today in this life? The one we have today, in the place we live today, with the neighbors we live next to, with the people that we lead and love, those entrusted to our care, with the responsibilities that we have, with the accountabilities that are ours.

How do we do the creative best we can with our own life today? Friends, keep going. This is good for us. This will enhance, yeah, the relationships in our life. The work that we do, the impact we create, and the intimacy we seek. Thank you, Saint Paul. Kingdom come.

Keep going,

Aaron

In today's episode, I want you to meet my friend and Flamenco dancer Ana Lucia Jardim. I want to share with you a tiny moment when she and her trio shared the beautiful art of Flamenco with a room full of work colleagues in San Francisco. I knew this was a moment to savor, so I pulled out my phone, recorded the audio of their music, singing and dancing, and a year later, reflected together, and here's what she shared.

Special thanks and acknowledgement to singer, Roberto Zamora http://robertozamora.com/index.html and David McLean https://www.davidmclean.net/ Flamenco Guitarist and Composer, Todd Anderson our producer and Ana Lucia Jardim our wise guide.

I'm signing-off here for this year to resume again in early 2021. To all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday.

Keep going. You can do this. Aaron

In the last person standing town, Scott Teems makes his home in Los Angeles, with a passion for telling stories through film. As a Hollywood and television writer and director, Scott Teems shares with us today on Work Life Play, the importance of showing up every day and why you need someone in your corner who believes in you.We talk about his life as a Hollywood and television writer and director, why most people quit sooner (and don't go the distance), the supporting people, namely his wife TJ, and properly calibrated expectations to pursue big dreams. Scott brings us in close to educating us about how a film comes together from casting, location scouting, screenwriting, editing, and securing funding for a movie. Watch for Scott Teem's upcoming Big screen studio works Halloween Kills (sequel to Halloween releasing the Fall of 2021. He wrote Firestarter, Stephen King adaptation, starring Zac Efron which begins shooting in 2021 releasing in 2022.

Also check out THE QUARRY, You can watch the trailer here and read a review here. (Amazon, Apple TV, AT&T, Dish, DIRECTV, Google Play, Microsoft, etc.).

THAT EVENING SUN, available to rent the film on Vimeo.

Scott's documentary, HOLBROOK/TWAIN, is available on Amazon, Apple/iTunes, VUDU, or Google Play! Holbrook/Twain backstory and Collectors edition DVD set here.

Matthew Zachary is my guest today for the audacious role he plays in the fight against cancer. Personally, this topic is significant to me. For most of the past two years, I've invested my client work energy supporting a major pharmaceutical organization as they re-imagine, re-engineer their approach to cure cancer and extend the lives of patients. Matthew's founded Stupid Cancer, a brain cancer survivor himself, Newsweek calls him a Cancer Rebel, Deepak Chopra says he's a Peace healer. Now his podcast, Out of Patients-sorting out the BS in healthcare through raw conversations about patient advocacy. I dedicate this episode to Peb and Bill, my friends. May you keep going further.

Years ago, I believed that my "real life" went on pause when my responsibilities took over. For instance, when I traveled for work, my "life" was paused while I fulfilled my work duty. This limiting mindset, the lenses through which I interpreted my life, informed my narrow experience of my life. Everything was in a container. Open this container when I "Work," this container when I "Play." This old mindset prevailed when traveling for work; I believed that I was away from my "real life," The trip was a necessary interruption, but inconveniently pausing my experience of living my life. I now believe that I choose to live my life regardless of where I find myself in context and geography. It is all one beautifully integrated creation of my Work Life Play. In today's episode, another from the archives a few years back, I started running small experiments, fully living my life as I desired wherever I found myself, despite the context and limitations. The big unlock was that my life no longer needed to go on hold.

In this Tiny Moment, Big Idea I ask the question "What are you afraid to try?" I recorded this episode five years ago immediately after we sold everything we owned and rebooted our lives. Many people said, "I wish I could do that." Which begs the question, "what are you afraid to try or do?" Maybe that informs what you might need to consider? Keep going,

Aaron

My interview today is with my son Holden. Sober five years. Wise. Gracious, and he's teaching me a lot about the power of building an everyday muscle. He talks about how he makes decisions waiting for nudges from "Higher Power" and his brave beginnings of sobriety.