Works Every Time

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'ATX' for 10% off your first recording!

https://modernstoa.co/podcast-studio-austin-bookings/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

______________________________________

00:00:00 This week on WET…

00:00:50 Jargon

00:03:35 Don't f**k with foam rollers

00:09:37 Why are Germans like this?

00:15:02 Phil's Phinancial Advice

00:22:13 Markus' Dino of the Week

00:30:37 Should Markus start drinking again?

00:36:03 intermission

00:37:52 Justin's Jamboree

______________________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

https://www.patreon.com/cw/WETPodcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

​⁠​⁠ @phillipgarciacomedy ​ @JustinEssenmacher ​⁠​⁠ @markusolind9761 ​⁠​ @rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'ATX' for 10% off your first recording!

https://modernstoa.co/podcast-studio-austin-bookings/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

______________________________________

00:00:00 This week on WET…

00:01:34 New dino movie is great (unless you're Justin)

00:13:11 Justin's new segment

00:41:22 Football is back

00:47:23 Bit Pitch gets Miami WET

______________________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

https://www.patreon.com/cw/WETPodcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

​⁠​⁠ @phillipgarciacomedy ​ @JustinEssenmacher ​⁠​⁠ @markusolind9761 ​⁠​ @rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

SEE MARKUS & JUSTIN

The Green Room

Friday 8/21, 8 - 11pm

13201 Pond Springs Rd #105A, Austin, TX 78729, USA

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/tokes-n-jokes-with-markus-olind-tickets-1997772232526?aff=oddtdtcreator&fbclid=IwY2xjawTqGnVwZG9mAWV4dG4DYWVtAjEwAGJyaWQRMVlNWm1EeG9yZUdVNUF3WVlzcnRjBmFwcF9pZBAyMjIwMzkxNzg4MjAwODkyAAEem4wybFDLd5zh8l0At_3gxsE6oFOGN2dcBVgBcYWh-bsH7x1cVVy7r4RtEZk_aem_0zcBN857mLQRmMGUSc1xCw

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'ATX' for 10% off your first recording!

https://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

______________________________________

00:00:00 This week on WET…

00:00:40 Last CD you listened to in your car

00:04:40 Arena rock at the dentist's office

00:08:14 Everything is a parody of a parody

00:11:23 Wasting water on stupid questions

00:17:19 The Sun isn't real and China doesn't have a billion people

00:30:34 Phil's India phase

00:36:40 The DMT dimension is closed

00:43:00 Markus hates Christmas in July

00:50:07 Why dogs love baby poop

00:53:44 There's no jokes left

00:56:48 Bit Pitch

01:03:42 Reverse cowgirling the toilet

______________________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.patreon.com/cw/WETPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

​⁠​⁠ @phillipgarciacomedy ​ @JustinEssenmacher ​⁠​⁠ @markusolind9761 ​⁠​ @rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

SEE MARKUS & JUSTIN

The Green Room

Friday 8/21, 8 - 11pm

13201 Pond Springs Rd #105A, Austin, TX 78729, USA

https://www.thegreenroom-austin.com/event-details/tokes-n-jokes-with-markus-olind-2026-08-21-20-00

SAUNA COMEDY SHOW

Bathe Austin

Saturday 8/15, 8-10pm

2922 East Cesar Chavez Street, Austin, TX

https://sweatpals.com/event/wet-comedy-show-pyra-social-sauna-fdf620?utm_source=host_widget&utm_medium=embed&utm_campaign=host_769a79ca-3528-4b2c-8937-534221821150

JOKE WRLD COMEDY FESTEVAL 2026

Use code 'WETPOD' for 5% off tickets!

https://www.jokewrldfest.com/

(we will not be there but you should go)

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'ATX' for 10% off your first recording!

https://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

______________________________________

00:00:00 This week on WET…

00:00:33 Clowning

00:05:47 Thank god w*ed is dangerous again

00:17:50 Justin's spectacular bowling injury

00:26:22 Breast health (feat. a woman)

00:31:01 Bit Pitch

00:48:46 Last year this week

00:50:53 Denzel is the perfect actor

00:55:22 Cliff hangers suck

______________________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.patreon.com/cw/WETPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

​⁠​⁠ @phillipgarciacomedy ​ @JustinEssenmacher ​⁠​⁠ @markusolind9761 ​⁠​ @rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

JOKE WRLD COMEDY FESTEVAL 2026

Use code 'WETPOD' for 5% off tickets!

https://www.jokewrldfest.com/

(we will not be there but you should go)

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'ATX' for 10% off your first recording!

https://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

______________________________________

00:00:00 This week on WET…

00:02:07 Phills trip to Chicago

00:07:00 Small World friendships

00:08 Unexpected Drinking

00:10:20 Why Chicago Sucks

00:20:10 Monster Trucks events over other events game

00:23:00 NASCAR explained

00:25:00 where do NASCAR drivers pee?

00:30:16 Calling NASCAR for ticket pricing

00:41:00 Phill witnesses a Terrorist announcement in the airport

00:43:00 learning how to say White guy in other languages

00:43:40 explaining Harry Potter and JK Rawling

00:49:27 Dr. Fauci and Covid pleading the 5th

00:55:00 Phill knows something we don't

______________________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.patreon.com/cw/WETPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

JOKE WRLD COMEDY FESTEVAL 2026Use code 'WETPOD' for 5% off tickets!https://www.jokewrldfest.com/(we will not be there but you should go)MERCHhttps://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-timeTEJAS TONICSupport us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!https://www.tejastonic.com/RECORD WHERE WE DOUse code 'ATX' for 10% off your first recording!https://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6FOLLOW FUZZY:https://www.instagram.com/fuzzycomic/THE WET COMMANDMENTS1) No Austin comedy2) We don't hate women2c) Don't say c*nt3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive4) Be funny5) Have fun (respectfully)______________________________________00:00:00 This week on WET…00:01:19 Beating your older siblings at games00:06:45 Justin's first 300 bowling00:09:58 White Islam is coming00:21:04 What makes a good man in 202600:27:40 Austin needs a WNBA team00:39:08 Best women's sports00:45:50 Bit Pitch LIVE from US Bank Stadium00:58:00 Leaving parties early01:01:21 Sports should be free______________________________________Follow the show:https://www.patreon.com/cw/WETPodcasthttps://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcasthttps://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401chttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcastJustin:https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustinhttps://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacherMarkus:https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/Phillip:https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedyProduction:Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass​⁠​⁠  @phillipgarciacomedy  ​ @JustinEssenmacher  ​⁠​⁠  @markusolind9761  ​⁠​ @rageqzbass   @fuzzykhilji  #podcast #comedy

JOKE WRLD COMEDY FESTEVAL 2026

Use code 'WETPOD' for 5% off tickets!

https://www.jokewrldfest.com/

(we will not be there but you should go)

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'ATX' for 10% off your first recording!

https://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6

FOLLOW YONDER:

https://www.youtube.com/@yonderwizzerd

https://www.instagram.com/yonderwizzerd/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

______________________________________

00:00:00 This week on WET…

00:00:36 South Caroline is bad at naming boys

00:05:43 How Yonder started opening Secret Show

00:11:17 Romaine calm and don't eat lettuce

00:14:12 In Memoriam: Sam Neill

00:26:44 Looking at pictures of Phil's ass

00:30:33 The great cheese debate

00:35:28 Yonder's hair secret

00:41:03 Yonder's rich heritage

00:46:34 Europeans discovering ranch

00:48:32 Bit Pitch

______________________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.patreon.com/cw/WETPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

​⁠​⁠ @phillipgarciacomedy ​ @JustinEssenmacher ​⁠​⁠ @markusolind9761 ​⁠​ @rageqzbass @yonderwizzerd

#podcast #comedy

JOKE WRLD COMEDY FESTEVAL 2026

Use code 'WETPOD' for 5% off tickets!

https://www.jokewrldfest.com/

(we will not be there but you should go)

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'ATX' for 10% off your first recording!

https://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

______________________________________

00:00:00 This week on WET…

00:03:28 It's hot

00:08:10 The aftermath of 4th of July case race

00:14:22 Would you purge?

00:18:16 We found the real Love Island

00:24:13 4 midg*ts race a camel

00:25:05 FIFA red card scandal

00:29:10 The failed 250 state fair

00:36:31 Bit Pitch @ the 249th P Terry's

00:46:07 Jew or Goy?

00:48:14 An interview with Phillip Garcia

00:51:38 Justin saw a zombie

00:53:59 Phil's Larry David moment

00:57:02 Technology bad

______________________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.patreon.com/cw/WETPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

​⁠​⁠ @phillipgarciacomedy ​ @JustinEssenmacher ​⁠​⁠ @markusolind9761 ​⁠​ @rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

JOKE WRLD COMEDY FESTEVAL 2026

Use code 'WETPOD' for 5% off tickets!

https://www.jokewrldfest.com/

(we will not be there but you should go)

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'ATX' for 10% off your first recording!

https://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6

FOLLOW COLT:

https://www.instagram.com/probablycolt/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

______________________________________

00:00:00 This week on WET…

00:02:21 The brotherhood of the travelling joke

00:05:48 Helping Markus deal with the loss

00:17:55 Shoes on or off?

00:22:06 Justin's big break: Famous Footwear

00:27:50 Phil's bad jobs

00:31:21 R*tarded Rambo

00:35:18 Drinking on the 4th of july

00:43:13 Markus best Edward 40 Hands

______________________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.patreon.com/cw/WETPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

​⁠​⁠ @phillipgarciacomedy ​ @JustinEssenmacher ​⁠​⁠ @markusolind9761 ​⁠​ @rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

JOKE WRLD COMEDY FESTEVAL 2026

Use code 'WETPOD' for 5% off tickets!

https://www.jokewrldfest.com/

(we will not be there but you should go)

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'ATX' for 10% off your first recording!

https://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6

FOLLOW SKY:

https://skmp.supercast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/iamaskyking/

https://www.youtube.com/@skykingsmentalplayground

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

______________________________________

00:00:00 This week on WET…

00:02:09 Has Clavicular maxxed out?

00:06:29 Examining our genes

00:13:07 Our predictions came true

00:25:42 Markus has upgraded his life

00:32:44 Squirrel (and bird) corner

00:40:19 Mexicanmaxxing

00:43:40 Is this bullying?

00:46:09 Getting dark and deep

______________________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.patreon.com/cw/WETPodcast

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

​⁠​⁠ @phillipgarciacomedy ​ @JustinEssenmacher ​⁠​⁠ @markusolind9761 ​⁠​ @rageqzbass @skykingsmentalplayground

#podcast #comedy