Works Every Time

Episode 100 got lost and we can't rerecord it for a couple weeks. For now enjoy episode 101!

MERCH

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TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

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SUNSET TICKETS

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RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'WET' for 25% off your recording!

https://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET…

0:45 - Finding the groove

4:12 - Justin's laugh got him kicked out of the OF comedy special taping

7:42 - All roads lead to 9/11

10:42 - The actual villain in Harry Potter

12:11 - Italian Harry Potter

14:33 - Jesus was the first 9/11

16:25 - How kidnapping became a crime

19:46 - Are the files ever coming out?

22:17 - They're trying to silence us

25:33 - Tucker Carlson is actually doing journalism now?

30:51 - New Sydney Sweeney movie has worst opening of all time

32:59 - Stranger Things and MK Ultra

41:30 - Run America like a bowing alley

43:23 - South (and North) Korea would love us

47:33 - Trump is driving up the price of Diet Coke

49:20 - The US dollar is down bad

53:34 - The WET Rascals

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

Use code 'WET' for 25% off your recording!

https://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET…

0:33 - Make the world a wetter place

1:44 - 3 dudes, 3 cameras, one podcast

3:13 - 2 haircuts in 2 days

9:33 - It's 2003 again

12:23 - Phil Garcia: Pizza Terrorist

15:02 - Schrodinger's leftovers

20:09 - We ship Trump n Bubba

25:36 - America's classic distraction is back

29:18 - Ain't nobody got time fo that

33:12 - Substances are the best

36:39 - "Did you lock the door?"

41:05 - The cat or the president?

44:26 - 80s content was peak

47:30 - Curb will always hold up

50:52 - Bring back physical media

55:19 - Markus took a Viagra at 13

58:06 - Weekly Entourage Corner

1:04:04 - Christmas Merch COMING SOON

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

MERCH

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TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

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SUNSET TICKETS

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RECORD WHERE WE DO

https://modernstoa.co/studio/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf7YJCjlD6v8caOugDx31UwFd2u-Ep6p71DvW2FWR1yEYjKaqKB8DmvlM0dHA_aem_tZ8DPBm_O5TfEtxcN1V4jA

FOLLOW DEDRICK:https://www.instagram.com/deddyfatstacks/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

1:06 - Make the world a wetter place

2:45 - Deddy is a kill tony regular

5:19 - Sodapop almost missed his chance

9:59 - What you know about Kill tony

14:30 - Comedy funk

19:44 - Comedy needs to get back to joke writing not clip farming

23:15 - It was inevitable

27:24 - Sodapop got pre-boo-ed

30:13 - SUNSET!

31:39 - Call the coroner

34:42 - Instagramification

36:08 - $250 for a golf lesson just to learn you're bad at golf

38:32 - getting your car towed should be illegal

41:48 - How to beat the tow company

45:00 - fast and the furious sideboob was very influential to Justin

49:12 - Justin got arrested while his uncle watched from white castle

55:49 - Blue Lone Star, different Phil

58:21 - Threaten your kids

1:04:56 - Justin don't need to count past 300

1:07:02 - Bad socks

1:08:40 - Allergic to cats for pu*sy

1:11:37 - We moved here for fraud

1:15:46 - Deddy's favorite substance to perform on

1:19:01 - Lost in the Mothership

1:21:10 - The Long Continent

1:27:10 - Banan-y

1:30:33 - Southern accents

1:33:56 - Driving each other to drink

_________________________

Follow the show:

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https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

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SUNSET TICKETS

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RECORD WHERE WE DO

https://modernstoa.co/studio/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf7YJCjlD6v8caOugDx31UwFd2u-Ep6p71DvW2FWR1yEYjKaqKB8DmvlM0dHA_aem_tZ8DPBm_O5TfEtxcN1V4jA

FOLLOW SHAWN

https://www.instagram.com/shwangardini/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET...

0:54 - Making the world a wetter place

2:16 - We warmed the house too hard last night

3:50 - Shawn is a "drunk wrestling in the yard at the party" kinda guy

6:29 - Gifts of Lazer's past

9:21 - Forgot about the whisky

10:20 - Heart burn vs heart attack

12:06 - Dipping through the pain

13:16 - Don't shotgun 10 beers

14:51 - Imagine a pool of gravy

16:26 - Travel vlogers sh*tting on India

18:56 - The Netflix movie about a nuke getting launched

20:56 - Hasbulla was in Poltergeist??

22:23 - Shout out to big willie

23:33 - Getting scammed out of Pokémon cards as a kid

25:20 - Don't go see Shelby Oaks

27:47 - ESPN is off YouTube tv

31:16 - Subwiffers are sick

32:54 - Half the podcast is dying

36:05 - All Shawn's neighbors are white

42:15 - the campers are disappearing

44:31 - Mid-taly

48:34 - Trump is pooping his pants in foreign countries

57:09 - Shout out the sports jersey Halloween costume

59:21 - Shawn's many nicknames

1:00:42 - Commando in high school wrestling

1:02:55 - Shawn's rectal abscess

1:07:58 - from butt problems to nut problems

1:11:43 - Dentists are scammers

1:19:33 - Are gingers black?

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

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SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DOhttps://podcaststudioaustin.as.me/schedule/33cd53b6

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET...

0:44 - Get drippin

2:48 - What are we gonna be for Halloween?

8:14 - Austin podcasters discuss beef tallow

9:13 - Ed Gein and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre

11:54 - Ed Gein's IQ

14:51 - Why Ed Gein loved skin so much

18:31 - Ed Gein's star sign

19:34 - How Ed Gein inspired Texas Chainsaw Massacre

21:34 - What the TCM movies say about culture at the time

26:20 - Leatherface is a 90s icon

28:54 - Post 9/11 horror movies were wild

31:46 - How Bin Laden culturally effected horror movies

33:20 - DEI Leatherface

37:52 - How Ed Gein got so messed up

40:52 - Ed Gein's first (human) kill

43:41 - Leave every grave site better than you found it

45:48 - Was Ed Gein's mom hot?

47:43 - How Ed Gein got caught

54:47 - A town committed insurance fraud together

57:24 - Ed Gein echos through time

1:00:02 - Justin loves chainsaws

1:04:37 - Markus doing the bare minimum

1:07:27 - Malice in the Palace

1:09:55 - Phil's gang affiliation

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

FOLLOW THE WET PODCAST ON ALL PLATFORMS

MERCH

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TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

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SUNSET TICKETS

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RECORD WHERE WE DO

https://modernstoa.co/studio/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf7YJCjlD6v8caOugDx31UwFd2u-Ep6p71DvW2FWR1yEYjKaqKB8DmvlM0dHA_aem_tZ8DPBm_O5TfEtxcN1V4jA

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET...

0:44 - Help make the world a wetter place

2:18 - Something spooky happened to Phil at the club

7:03 - Ghosts LOVE curtains

13:59 - Sports: Scripted or Rigged?

16:22 - Markus' worst sports weekend of all time

19:20 - You know what? Chicken.

21:31 - Get out of my country (club)!

23:11 - 2 Jager Bombs and a Heineken

24:27 - Codeine in Flint Michigan

27:21 - Manscaped and Velo please sponsor us

29:03 - Scary movie logic

32:18 - Markus just watched Terminator

35:44 - Threatening Vinny Chase to be on the pod

38:04 - Markus is so Turtle

39:24 - When Justin went to Hollywood

41:07 - Republican Phil

44:30 - You can legally break the law when the government's shut down

46:06 - ChatJPT

47:44 - Life is hard but also boring

50:08 - Phillatouille

51:11 - McDonalds Monopoly is so back

54:29 - Drill baby, drill, Zyn baby, Zyn

55:42 - Why didn't we get the Riyadh invite?

1:04:36 - Justin bullied a man from the stage

1:10:27 - Markus requested a panic room at the haunted house

1:16:32 - Adrian Grenier please come on the pod

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

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SUNSET TICKETS

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RECORD WHERE WE DO

https://modernstoa.co/studio/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf7YJCjlD6v8caOugDx31UwFd2u-Ep6p71DvW2FWR1yEYjKaqKB8DmvlM0dHA_aem_tZ8DPBm_O5TfEtxcN1V4jA

FOLLOW DEDRICK:

https://www.instagram.com/deddyfatstacks/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET...

0:33 - Making the world a wetter place

1:45 - How to open your 5th eye

4:59 - Platypus are aliens, crocodiles are dragons. gators are puppies

9:30 - That dragon in Shrek was sexy and you know it

12:34 - Fired from Chili's for feeding cats

14:25 - Think of animals politically

17:28 - Mermaids and Yetis

20:35 - Are ghosts real

24:45 - If they're tipping you can serve a minor

28:49 - Going cold turkey on black people

31:05 - How white people name their pets

32:07 - Girls that dip

35:51 - Kids these days don't know that hitting is real

38:45 - When you don't know your moms name

43:58 - People who go by their middle names

50:15 - When a black person misses you

52:13 - Don't be depressed, be a man

1:02:13 - Dedrick speaks autism

1:07:38 - Women are like cats

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

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RECORD WHERE WE DO

https://modernstoa.co/studio/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf7YJCjlD6v8caOugDx31UwFd2u-Ep6p71DvW2FWR1yEYjKaqKB8DmvlM0dHA_aem_tZ8DPBm_O5TfEtxcN1V4jA

FOLLOW JJ:

https://www.instagram.com/jjcurrycomedy/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET...

0:38 - JJ Curry's second interview of the day

1:37 - Pre-Intro

2:37 - JJ Curry: Funniest Person in Austin

4:17 - Making the world a wetter place

6:04 - High Socks, Low Morals

7:42 - Is that where they made Georgia?

11:39 - Keep the enemy guessing

13:25 - JJ was paralyzed for 2 months

19:38 - How JJ won Funniest Person in Austin

23:02 - Chef Curry

24:39 - What'd you buy with your stimulus checks?

26:56 - Luther Vandr0ss didn't kill any Jews

31:44 - Kid Rock banned from performing in California

32:42 - Shakespeare invented fart

35:00 - Armpit hair, yay or nay?

36:28 - Avoid the middle of the grocery store (shout out Noah)

38:39 - We could have changed the result of Sam Houston vs UT

42:07 - Markus hit his happiness quota for the year

43:27 - The Austin Comedy Strikeout Challenge (video coming soon)

56:05 - Shout out Richard Garcia

58:17 - JJ tested high on his assgrab

1:02:36 - Phil's horrible back tattoos

1:03:47 - White people liking their family is sus

1:06:28 - German child learns about WWII

1:10:04 - Defending the Austin comedy scene

_________________________

Follow the show:

@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

YouTube - @JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - @phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - @rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

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SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

https://modernstoa.co/studio/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf7YJCjlD6v8caOugDx31UwFd2u-Ep6p71DvW2FWR1yEYjKaqKB8DmvlM0dHA_aem_tZ8DPBm_O5TfEtxcN1V4jA

FOLLOW DEDRICK:

https://www.instagram.com/deddyfatstacks/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET...

0:33 - Getting high at work

1:38 - Midwest road rage

4:19 - We all pay for sex somehow

6:07 - Movies in different accents

7:36 - Mexican Spy Kids

9:18 - Asking people what their kinks are

11:21 - Justin's got hives

14:13 - Goodwill for doctors

17:06 - Huntsville TX is the gayest town in America

18:19 - The most bs college degree

20:19 - Justin's bowling career

22:11 - How to get money fast

24:32 - Dedrick bullies Justin for his shoes

28:07 - Dedrick shoulda never told Markus about black twitter

29:35 - Black people's favorite whites

32:23 - Dedrick was an entrepreneurial child

_________________________

Follow the show:

@wet.podcast

https://open.spotify.com/show/7MqegWxm0vo9xV2y2OIatY?si=3cb91ff1b5ab401c

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

YouTube - @JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - @phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - @rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

LIVE SHOW TICKETS

Saturday, Sep 20, 9:00 PM

https://www.sunsetstripatx.com/?event-id=118000

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

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SUNSET TICKETS

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RECORD WHERE WE DO

https://modernstoa.co/studio/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf7YJCjlD6v8caOugDx31UwFd2u-Ep6p71DvW2FWR1yEYjKaqKB8DmvlM0dHA_aem_tZ8DPBm_O5TfEtxcN1V4jA

FOLLOW DEDRICK:

https://www.instagram.com/deddyfatstacks/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET...

1:35 - Ads

4:38 - Dedrick really wanted to be here

5:38 - Smelling like work

7:22 - Club Applebee's is a real thing

9:15 - Cutting lawns in Georgia for AF1's

12:16 - Snow is dangerous

15:00 - Texas doesn't understand how snow works

17:51 - Angry at work

19:57 - It's rough for Michigan teams right now

23:45 - Where there's money, there is hockey

27:20 - Non-slip Spanish

29:28 - Shout out the Honda Odyssey

34:11 - How to get out of tickets in the South

39:58 - Never blow

45:23 - Dedrick pulled himself over

51:52 - "You buy a Ford if you wanna cuss a lot"

58:41 - Racoons are aliens

1:01:22 - There's a dragon frozen in the Arctic

1:10:29 - Everyone who sucks are lizards

1:15:34 - Kia is the 2 for 25 of cars

1:23:43 - Shower bloopers

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy