Works Every Time

LIVE SHOW TICKETS

Saturday, Sep 20, 9:00 PM

https://www.sunsetstripatx.com/?event-id=118000

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

https://modernstoa.co/studio/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf7YJCjlD6v8caOugDx31UwFd2u-Ep6p71DvW2FWR1yEYjKaqKB8DmvlM0dHA_aem_tZ8DPBm_O5TfEtxcN1V4jA

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET...

0:42 - Markus' viral xtweet

2:57 - ads

6:18 - john reep is a pdf file

9:16 - The thing about hairdressers

9:59 - Come meet us 9/20

12:10 - Closing your eyes while driving

13:45 - Final Destination 6: The Last Destination

16:20 - Justin wants to do episode 100 naked

16:58 - Trailers are better than the movie

20:54 - British people talk funny innit

23:41 - I like my butt on the back

26:23 - Promo code 9/11 for $2 off

28:51 - Every movie but it's in Boston

36:35 - Our votes are for sale

38:32 - More movies in Boston

41:39 - Laughing at accents

43:47 - Why poop is the perfect joke

47:07 - Piss mic theories

48:43 - Definitly going somewhere with this

52:15 - The elephant in the room

54:43 - Markus has a coupon

56:36 - If we got Human Centipeded

1:02:12 - Being sober sucks, just be an alcoholic

1:04:56 - What's cheese to a lion?

1:05:38 - Where's the coupon to Markus!?!

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

LIVE SHOW TICKETS

Saturday, Sep 20, 9:00 PM

https://www.sunsetstripatx.com/?event-id=118000

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

https://modernstoa.co/studio/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf7YJCjlD6v8caOugDx31UwFd2u-Ep6p71DvW2FWR1yEYjKaqKB8DmvlM0dHA_aem_tZ8DPBm_O5TfEtxcN1V4jA

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET...

0:58 - The top

5:32 - God I hope we're still friends

9:03 - Going Thru It w/ Justin Essenmacher

13:25 - Being mean to your daughter's boyfriend

15:47 - Third marriage is the charm

19:13 - Trickle down economics at the comedy club

21:06 - Primitive War is a good movie

25:29 - Jerry Jones is the problem

28:50 - Sports merch is horrible now

33:46 - Sports suck, start gambling

35:12 - Those who can't do

37:13 - The WET Boys join ICE

38:09 - Sprechen sie podcast?

40:16 - If you see Markus, give him a hug

45:11 - We got issues

47:06 - Phil's mom calls in

48:02 - Speaking German is easy

52:29 - Justin got roasted by a stranger at work

56:44 - We need adult scholarships

1:00:05 - We'd be great substitute teachers

1:01:54 - Learn to Serve at a Comedy Club

1:05:08 - Jesus was a stoner

1:09:32 - The Amish cheat now

1:14:49 - Phil fixes Justin's hives

1:16:24 - Markus' phat pork butt

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

LIVE SHOW TICKETS

Saturday, Sep 20, 9:00 PM

https://www.sunsetstripatx.com/?event-id=118000

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

RECORD WHERE WE DO

https://modernstoa.co/studio/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaf7YJCjlD6v8caOugDx31UwFd2u-Ep6p71DvW2FWR1yEYjKaqKB8DmvlM0dHA_aem_tZ8DPBm_O5TfEtxcN1V4jA

FOLLOW COLTONhttps://www.instagram.com/ilovecoltonjones/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - This week on WET...

0:46 - I Liked My Lunch Today

3:40 - I Cracked This Open

7:07 - Justin's a Liar

9:02 - Char-zard, Squirt-le

9:44 - Folding

10:44 - Colton is the edgiest woke comic in Austin

12:21 - Colton went to a women's college

15:08 - B*tches be witches these days

17:36 - Not All Women

19:47 - Colton was peer pressured into being gay (and it killed his pet rabbit)

25:25 - Better About Me

27:00 - I Kissed a Dude (and Didnt Really Like It)

28:39 - Doing comedy at BWW and Hooters

32:30 - Cheapest shout out in the game

36:12 - Black people are racist

40:25 - I'm Bringin Woke Back

45:09 - Don't disrespect the haka

47:28 - Pissing on your balls is a right of passage

50:52 - Does your mom have big boobs?

51:40 - 21st birthday stories

54:41 - Black out stories

57:01 - Nostalgia weed

1:00:57 - Biggest loser documentary is crazy

1:05:22 - America is a circus

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

#podcast #comedy

This is episode 87 of the WET Podcast.

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

FOLLOW JOEYhttps://www.instagram.com/thisisjoeysmith/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - NEW MERCH OUT NOW

2:05 - Austin podcasters do ice bath and sauna

11:09 - Joey is a prolific scammer

14:08 - How to scam T-Mobile

18:14 - Justin doesn't get defensive

22:20 - Stop ordering things that need things added

26:45 - Drawing legendary penises in Shertz Texas

29:53 - Getting ISS as a kid

32:15 - We're all sovereign citizens at heart

33:37 - Are Waymos better than human drivers?

37:01 - Go birds

41:11 - Our mustaches are fake?!

44:50 - Homeless lady infiltrated the comedy club

49:13 - 2000 subs and we'll try tranq on the pod!

53:24 - Trump and Putin 1v1 rust

56:24 - Joey's demands trump pardon YNW Melly

58:59 - How to get out of jury duty

1:01:57 - Jordan Peele tried to buy the script for weapons

1:04:13 - Childhood vandalism and crazy school bus drivers

1:08:50 - Ubering your kids to school

1:12:53 - Super Bowl predictions

1:27:06 - Secret message for Markus

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

This is episode 86 of the WET Podcast.

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - ChatGPT wrote this intro

1:41 - Phil quit golf

7:12 - Car talk

13:29 - Justin teaches us yoga

20:43 - Markus is going thru it (it is tissues)

25:59 - Alycast: What is wet?

28:37 - Hecklers hijacked our live show

34:29 - Red Lobster ruined Justin's life

36:54 - Canadians aren't nice when they get drunk

39:59 - We shouldn't have graduated college

44:27 - ChatGPT will be doctors, lawyers, and p*rnstars

49:16 - Heckler storms the stage

58:46 - Colt's yo-yo encore

1:00:52 - "Lesbians aren't real" - Colton Jones

1:05:15 - Finding lesbian love at Apple Bees

1:10:49 - Irish Goodbye vs German Goodbye

1:16:04 - Thanks to everyone who came to the show!

1:17:05 - How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Markus butthole

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

This is episode 85 of the WET Podcast.

MERCH

https://www.backoftheroomtees.com/collections/w-e-t-podcast-works-every-time

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

FOLLOW COLT:

https://www.instagram.com/probablycolt/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

0:00 - We have merch!

0:53 - We're in a car

3:45 - Why are we in a car?

7:07 - Satisfying Kia moment

8:35 - Colt the sound guy

10:55 - How to always be happy

13:10 - Driving in Texas sucks

15:07 - You ever write sad sh*t down?

18:51 - Giving back to the community

23:06 - How to travel without a passport

27:45 - Waluigi Mangione kills CEO of Chuck E. Cheese

29:39 - Do we live in a simulation?

31:58 - Cracker Barrel claims to have the best pancakes

33:47 - Michigan is beautiful, we swear

35:12 - Justin got the whole clock on his face rn

38:14 - South park compares trump to Saddam

39:46 - If Hooters had a Church

47:49 - Leaking industry secrets

53:25 - Super hero movies and Jurassic Park p*rn

56:30 - Colt is a pro yo-yo artist

1:07:19 - Our heads are too big

1:12:48 - If we were cops

1:16:37 - We missed Buc-ee's

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

This is episode 84 of the WET Podcast.

LIVE PODCAST

Ft Worth, Hyenas, 7/26

https://www.prekindle.com/promo/id/-2853111880138734978?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAae_JidtSIlIIsjCUO__1TNPiPiFnfdLIfI_oDuMjV5OplK76qm-d6zUXS6MKA_aem_UTabPCIEq4wX7DclvjP6DA

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

[]

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

This is episode 83 of the WET Podcast.

LIVE PODCAST

Ft Worth, Hyenas, 7/26

https://www.prekindle.com/promo/id/-2853111880138734978?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAae_JidtSIlIIsjCUO__1TNPiPiFnfdLIfI_oDuMjV5OplK76qm-d6zUXS6MKA_aem_UTabPCIEq4wX7DclvjP6DA

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

[]

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

This is episode 82 of the WET Podcast.

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

[]

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass

This is episode 81 of the WET Podcast.

TEJAS TONIC

Support us by using code 'WETPOD' for 15% off your order!

https://www.tejastonic.com/

SUNSET TICKETS

https://sunsetstripatx.com/

FOLLOW MASON:

https://www.instagram.com/masonsmithcomedian/

https://www.youtube.com/@highnoon_pod

THE WET COMMANDMENTS

1) No Austin comedy

2) We don't hate women

2c) Don't say c*nt

3) If you get too negative you have to say something positive

4) Be funny

5) Have fun (respectfully)

_________________________

[]

_________________________

Follow the show:

https://www.youtube.com/@wet.podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/works-every-time/id1737857027

https://www.instagram.com/wet.podcast/

https://www.tiktok.com/@wet.podcast

Justin:

https://www.instagram.com/justinessenmacher/

https://www.tiktok.com/@openmicjustin

https://www.youtube.com/@JustinEssenmacher

Markus:

https://www.instagram.com/beardvonmarkus/

Phillip:

https://www.instagram.com/phillipgarciacomedy/

WTF - https://www.youtube.com/@phillipgarciacomedy

Production:

Contact - https://www.instagram.com/rageqzb/

Portfolio - https://www.youtube.com/@rageqzbass